fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2066 ]

[ SECRET POST #2066 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2066 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Because no matter how you divide it up, not everyone falls under a solid label, so in your own words, describe you preferences.

I am female, inside and out. I am attracted to men. I find women beautiful. I feel sexual arousal. I masturbate with toys and by my self. I have no desire to be with anyone, romantically or sexually.

I like cock but I love my girlfriend.

Oh wow this will be interesting.

I'm absolutely a cisgendered female, although I didn't realize how strongly I felt about this until I tried crossdressing once. (Wearing men's clothing doesn't bother me, but somehow cosplaying as a male character, complete with binding my breasts and trying to act the part, was REALLY unsettling for me, although it took me a while to figure out just how much it did.)

I strongly prefer men to women sexually, although I've known at least one girl I would happily sleep with and I was molested as a kid by a boy a few years older than me so I have a lot of anxiety associated with the idea of having a sexual relationship with a man.

I have a high sex drive, and I enjoy masturbating and reading/writing smutty fanwork, as well as watching porn, playing smutty games, etc. I cammed with a guy for a long period of time, although that relationship eventually fell apart (and I wouldn't recommend a relationship like it, it was a mess). I still have a taste for exhibitionism and sometimes post naked pictures of myself (without my face showing) in places like 4chan, but I feel guilty about it and I'm trying to cut that off.

I have a huge desire to be with someone both romantically and sexually, but due to my past trauma, religious beliefs and just knowing I'm not emotionally ready for a serious relationship I'm a virgin (other than the molestation and the camming I've done) and I'm not currently dating anyone. but I'm hoping I can sort through my issues enough to find a nice guy (or maybe a girl but that's a huge HUGE maybe) and give dating a try soon.

sorry for the tl;dr but that was a little cathartic.

I get horny fairly frequently, but I'm not usually attracted to specific individuals. When I do have crushes, they're usually on women, except for when they're on men. I can usually tell when I have a crush on someone by when I want to kiss them, because I've been attracted to people physically that I've not had romantic feelings for, and I don't want to kiss them.

(hit post too soon)

Cross-dressing is a major kink for me, both for myself and in potential partners. Though in many ways I'm traditionally feminine (and tend to be likewise attracted to feminine women) I've had periods of feeling more male identified that I'm not sure what to do with, and feel uncomfortable outright identifying as genderqueer.

Hmm...

Well, growing up the way I did, I never considered I could've been anything but straight. I no longer believe that to be the case. TBH I don't put much thought into it; if someone's attractive, they're attractive.

I agree with this sentiment.

I like what I like, I do what I do, and it's all just me.

I check out people of all gender identities and find them attractive but I don't want to physically, sexually, touch anyone at all.

I can find characters or other people or whatever gender or sexuality having sex hot but I find it strange to imagine myself having sex.

When I crush on people or characters I'd rather imagine them shipping or having sex with other people that aren't me.

When I fantasize I pretend I'm someone else, having sex with someone else.

I'm fine with myself, but fsr I have a lot of trouble seeing myself as a sexual-with-others being.

Are you me?

Except I can't see real other people having sex. Weirds me right out. But otherwise this is pretty similar to my experience.

I'm the same. I don't masturbate either because it's so unappealing I lose interest halfway through.

I'm also genderqueer with no leanings towards either gender.

Re: Explaining sexual preference without the labels.

(Anonymous) - 2012-08-30 16:16 (UTC) - Expand

Umm. I'm into men. I can think girls are attractive and get turned on by them or seeing them have sex with other people, but I have no interest in actually being involved with a woman myself.

I get horny but it's not exclusive with wanting to have sex, it hardly ever is. I like the thought of touching people I find attractive with my hands or lips, but not fucking/being fucked by them. I don't feel anything from masturbating, but if it's someone else touching me I can feel it.

I've been turned on by some types of pain since I was little, even though I didn't recognize it at that time. I've found sex involving things like humiliation, bondage, and non-con arousing since I hit puberty, due to some unfortunate exposure to porn when I was still too young to realize sex wasn't bad.

I guess I should mention that I either want a long-term heteronormative relationship, husband and kids and all that, or be totally single. I'm not really interested in a relationship if it isn't at least gonna be long term.

Edited 2012-08-30 01:41 (UTC)

i like this. labels can be helpful, but also very... restricting.
i'm attracted exclusively to men (and very much so. i am a very very big fan of the gents). i feel at least some level of sexual arousal, but not much. i have no desire to engage in any kind of sexual or romantic relationship anymore (tried it, wouldn't repeat it)

regardless, i still identify as gay over asexual. celibate homosexual? something like that.

I'm sexually interested in men but I find most women beautiful. If a woman who I found attractive ever showed an interest in me, I'd date her in a heartbeat and have no problem pursuing sex with her if she wanted. I just never initiate relationships when it comes to women.

I find both men and women beautiful. I would like the trust, security and love of a long-term relationship with either a man or a woman, or maybe more than one person if everyone involved was OK with it. I like cuddling and holding hands and hugging, as well kissing as long as there is little-to-no saliva involved.

When I look at people I don't know personally, I may find them physically good-looking, but nobody ever becomes attractive to me unless they have a good personality. I tend to infer things about their personality from the way they hold and conduct themselves, the way they speak, their interests, etc. and from what I infer, I conclude whether or not I would want to be in a relationship with them. The minute I find something significant that I don't like about them, they stop being remotely attractive to me.

I feel sexual arousal, but it's just an itch that I have to scratch every now and then. I have kinks, but only to watch or read about, never to take part in myself. Sex is great, as long as I'm not involved. There is one person who I consider an exception, but if it ever came to it, I'm not sure whether I would have sex with him. My thoughts about him aren't explicitly sexual, they're just more sexual than my thoughts about anyone else (which amount to kissing and cuddling at the most).

I've been kind of thinking about this a lot lately, and I guess the best way I could classify myself is a female inside and out who is attracted to men most of the time. I've been attracted to some actresses or women walking down the street, but never anyone I actually knew. My biggest crushes have been as guys who identify with guys, but I find men cross-dressing as women to be terribly hot, as well as the occasional female cross-dressing as a male cosplayer to sexy as well. Though I've never had a crush on a woman I've known, I don't want to label myself as straight because I don't want to limit myself should the right person come along.

I've also tinkered with the ideas of demisexuality, bisexuality, and questioning lately, but I don't feel a great urge to choose just one word, other than making things easier for myself when I'm asking myself these questions.

Mostly, I think that label I'd use for myself is "be with whoever makes me the happiest and treats me right." What more can someone really ask for?

This was a great topic, btw!

Edited (Hit post too soon) 2012-08-30 01:37 (UTC)

Labels are complicated.

I am definitely a cis female. I enjoy the thought of having sex with men, and I have had several boyfriends (although my taste in men has been a bit. . .sketch thus far). I have certain female celebrities that I also fantasize about from time to time, but not as often as I do for men.

I think I will probably end up with a man, but I don't rule out dating a woman or even spending my life with one if I found the right person. Basically, I am always attracted to men, but if I were ever to want to have sex with a woman it would be because I fell in love with her first.

I masturbate frequently. It releases tension. I don't really like most videotaped porn. I like smutty writing and drawings or photographs most.

I've found both men and women to be sexually attractive, but I'm only romantically attracted to women (which is why I often describe myself as lesbian, although I am attracted to men, sometimes even more so than women).
Many times I don't feel attraction to either gender. Even though I masturbate, I usually don't have the desire to have sexual or physical contact with others.
I'm also sexually aroused by objects, typically if they look like they could bring sexual pleasure (ie. colorful glass dildos).

I have no idea what to describe myself! Basically I'm pretty certain that I'm asexual; I'm a 28 year old, female, virgin who has never felt sexual attraction to anyone. I do feel sexual arousal though, and do masturbate. I can find people aesthetically attractive, of any sex/gender, but as far as I know romantically I think I've only ever been attracted to one person (the only person I have ever had a relationship with) and she was female, and that was a decade ago.

Since then I've had no desire to be with anyone, nor been romantically attracted to anyone. I'm happily single at the moment, but if I did want a relationship I would be looking for a woman to be with, I don't have much interest in being with a man. I'm not sure if this makes me pan-asexual, bi-asexual, homo-asexual, aromantic asexual, or something else!

I'm a cis female. I had crushes on boys when I was younger, had a confusing time when I hit puberty, and now I'm primarily attracted to women. I have a high sex drive. I have no current desire to be in a relationship or have sex with anyone, (but I wouldn't mind having a make-out buddy, if that's even a thing). I often get platonic crushes on people of all gender identities and enjoy being physically intimate with my friends, which usually means hugging and cuddling. I think all people are aesthetically beautiful but I fall in love with personalities--if someone's personality is beautiful I find them infinitely more attractive.

Female-bodied, but if I were to turn male or neutral somehow, I wouldn't care. Rather enjoy crossdressing. Never have felt sexual attraction to anyone of any gender. Never fantasized or had the urge to masturbate (and in fact didn't realize anyone actually did it until I was in my mid-20s and some friends were discussing it). Have been frequently intellectually attracted to people of any gender, leading to something like romantic attraction, though oddly it used to happen more with men, but in the last several years has been more with women.

Edited 2012-08-30 03:36 (UTC)

Re: Explaining sexual preference without the labels.

(Anonymous) - 2012-08-30 16:27 (UTC) - Expand

Definitely female inside and out. I'm attracted to men aesthetically but not sexually. Basically, if you put an attractive guy in front of me I'd just want to stare at him like I would a nice painting or something, but have zero desire to have sex with him. Women I have zero attraction to sexually or aesthetically. Honestly, I have a hard time even knowing if a woman is attractive, which I've been told is really weird.

I'll say I'm asexual if asked and think it can be very useful in the context of describing sexual desires, but I have a couple issues with it as a label for an orientation. I do have a sex drive, but I think it's lower than most people's, and it's not directed at anyone. I do masturbate and think it can be kind of nice, I guess, but it really feels more like a biological function to me than anything else. There are no fantasies involved, and I really don't even think about anything specific when I do it.

I am romantically attracted to men but not to women. As far as romantic relationships go, I've had a couple of semi-serious ones (both with guys who weren't asexual--one where I compromised and had sex with him even though I didn't want to, and the other where he gave up sex although he didn't want to--neither worked) and a couple casual, went out a few times things, in between the two and after the second guy, but they were never serious and never went anywhere.

I keep saying I could theoretically be romantically interested in a woman someday, but if I'm completely honest I don't see it happening. I feel sort of bad and like I'm narrow-minded for dismissing the possibility, though.

I guess ideally, I'd like a romantic but non-sexual relationship with an asexual guy, but don't think I'm likely to find one. Part of me would prefer to be single because I was always miserable in my relationships, but I think maybe it could be completely different if I found a guy who was on the same page as I was regarding sex, if one exists out there somewhere.

Anytime I read anything romance-related or ship characters or whatever, it's almost always m/m. (I guess the slash fangirl thing can even apply to asexuals, apparently?) Occasionally m/f but usually not f/f (although there are a few exceptions where I just really like the characters/dynamic) because most of the time it just doesn't interest me. And usually if there's an attractive male character or whatever that I like, my first instinct will be to ship him with another guy I like rather than thinking "oh, I want him for myself" like most of my friends will. I'm fine with sex in that context because it doesn't involve me, but to be honest I do prefer reading about relationships that are more like ones I personally would want to be in.

And about the asexual label (as far as an orientation, I mean), I'm not completely comfortable with it, but I don't think I've ever quite been able to really explain why in a way that makes sense to anyone other than me. Basically, I find it sort of inconsistent that it's considered an orientation when it's based on what you don't want instead of the others which are based on what you do, and is based on an activity rather than genders of people like the others (gay/straight/bi/etc.). I mean, to me, gay/straight/bi/etc. are more social/cultural labels than anything else (since most people don't go around talking about their sex lives on a day to day basis, but it gives others an idea of what gender(s) to expect that person to be romantically involved with).

Like, for example, if someone had medical issues that prevented them from having sex, I know that that's different than not wanting to to begin with, but the end result is the same if two people are in a romantic relationship but aren't having sex. I don't think the fact that the relationship isn't sexual negates the fact that those people might identify as straight or gay or whatever. And I've heard a few people say orientation is about who you love/want to be in a relationship with rather than who you want to have sex with, but I'm pretty sure they're definitely in the minority and the majority of people think it's based on who you want to have sex with.

Anyway, this is way too long already. I don't know what I am, honestly. If it were up to me I'd consider myself straight since I'm attracted to men romantically, and to me that's more important than who I do or don't want to have sex with, but I know that since I'm not sexually attracted to them I can't legitimately claim to be straight. So...I guess for now I'm label-less.

Very similar to OP, actually, cis female, definitely attracted to men. Attraction to women happens, but not... nearly as often. Don't desire any more romantic relationships and I'd like to believe I'd be okay with a sexual one buut it hasn't happened in a few years.

I have a sex drive, but not a major one - I masturbate far less than I used to for whatever reason. Yet I'll still indulge in smutty art, stories, whatever, if I feel like it. Porn of real people only makes me laugh, but seeing two real people just making out or something can be a turn-on. (It can be m/f, m/m, f/f, doesn't matter.) Does that make any sense?

Oh well. I stopped trying to keep up what labels meant what a long time ago anyway. Interesting topic.

I'm a woman, and I find both men and women attractive. In terms of numbers, I find more women attractive--I just see gorgeous women all over the place, and my celebrity "do list" is longer for women.

But I'm MUCH more sexual with men. Even if I rarely find guys attractive, my sex drive with them is through the roof. If I find a guy I'm attracted to, I'll be constantly thinking of sucking him off, or fucking him. The idea of a threesome with two girls doesn't do anything for me, but two guys, at once? Oooh boy, I almost drool at the thought.

I'd gladly sleep with an attractive woman, but I don't get this insatiable need to have sex with her. It's almost like I'd rather just appreciate her beauty. I don't know what this means. Because I'd really love to date women, and I often have girl crushes, and I find I'm more compatible with women... but when it comes to actual sex? It's much more in favour of men.

Likes girls, generally uninterested in sex.

That's pretty much how I always describe it to people. Then they can label me however they want as long as they remember
- likes girls
- uninterested in sex or men

-female inside and out
-attracted to men
-masturbates, reads and writes smutty fanfiction, very open about it [that is, I'm not a prude] all that fun stuff
-genuinely can't stomach the sight of real porn & has no desire to be in a sexual relationship

WHAT AM I, F!S??

...that felt good to write. \O/

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