[ SECRET POST #2084 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2084 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 094 secrets from Secret Submission Post #298.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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14. http://i49.tinypic.com/10fuqrq.jpg

You could try telling them instead of assuming the worst of them.

What do you do when you go "I'm not in to mpreg sorry" and they respond "But this one is REALLY CUTE, just give it a try!!" what's a polite way to say no at that point?

(no subject)

kaileighblue - 2012-09-16 20:13 (UTC) - Expand

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lunabee34 - 2012-09-16 20:29 (UTC) - Expand

you seem to be assuming the worst. I can kind of understand -- I get the "oh, but someday you'll want to get married/have a baby." all the time. Our culture reinforces it over and over.

but still. Individuals =/= culture, so calm the fuck down, communicate calmly to your friends your completely lack of interest in (m)preg/kidfic and if they don't listen THEN tell them to fuck off.

or else you'll end up no better than the annoying girls that go on and on about having a baby like it's the only thing that matters.

On the one hand, I have some sympathy for you, OP. It sucks when your fandom friends are into different fandoms or kinds of stories than you are and your flist is full of stories you don't want to read or discussions you don't want to have. We've all been there at one point.

On the other hand, though, how are your friends supposed to know you don't like something if you don't tell them?

And if by linking to a fic you mean they just post a rec on their journal as opposed to saying, "Hey, OP, read this!" and sending you a link, then I don't understand the anger there either.

how are your friends supposed to know you don't like something if you don't tell them?

Yea, exactly.

Though if OP has told their friends they aren't interested and they still try to make OP read it, then I understand the frustration. But if it's just a rec on OP's friends journal that isn't necessarily targeted at OP but the person's entire flist...just scroll on by.

Unless your friends push marriage/children in other ways, you're making an awfully big leap to think them recc'ing a genre of fics they like is them "pushing it into your face that you need to get married and have children." Have you even told them you don't like mpreg/baby fic?

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(Anonymous) - 2012-09-16 20:24 (UTC) - Expand

Strange, I'm kind of the opposite.
I don't mind when characters in canon or in fics have kids, but when real-life friends settle down and start families, well....I just don't feel like I can connect to them anymore.

Sometimes people like pregnancy and baby fics without wanting to have babies or become pregnant. It's true! There are some weird people around who, you know, read about things they don't actually want or will do in real life. Science has yet to find a way to explain it, but they're working on it!

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(Anonymous) - 2012-09-16 23:43 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2012-09-16 23:49 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2012-09-17 00:16 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2012-09-17 20:07 (UTC) - Expand

It sucks that your friends don't listen when you tell them you don't want to read mpreg, I also think it's pretty gross.

But it makes me sad that you think someone's life is over and they can't have adventures anymore if they have a baby. Sure, their adventures will be different, or they'll have to get a sitter, but life isn't over. I just add my kid to the cosplay. It's especially fun now that she is old enough to add some input to her costumes/fandom choices.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-16 23:49 (UTC) - Expand

I don't have friends into it, but as far as the topic itself, I can relate. I'm more extreme, though--I actually have a phobia of babies and pregnancy, so I stay away from these topics in canon and real life, too. Any sort of pregnancy or baby!fic is out of the question for me.

There's nothing wrong with it! Just be polite when telling your friends. It doesn't make you a bad person or anything. We all have our squicks, right?

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-16 21:04 (UTC) - Expand

mpreg just weirds me out.

I happen to be a SAHM (by choice and happily so). I despise baby!fic, kid!fic (I can do preg!fic so long as the story ends before the baby is born, but even then, it's kinda iffy for me).

:: shrugs ::

So you *could* make the argument to your friends (if they're pushing it) that it probably wouldn't change your mind even if you did so all that they thought you should (assuming they're pushing it on you). Otherwise, I'd just ignore them :P

Hey, a childfree person in fandom. How... shocking............

Anyway, have you considered maybe telling your friends you don't care about babies? That way they can stop reccing baby fic to you. And if they keep doing it, they're bad friends. Pretty simple.

I sorta agree when it comes to fanfic. But on the other hand, I've rarely seen canon stories where parents do go on adventures AND take care of their kids too. Like life suddenly stops once you become a parent and you're not allowed to have fun EVER. ;(

(no subject)

omorka - 2012-09-16 23:58 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

ex_paola492 - 2012-09-17 01:22 (UTC) - Expand

SAME SAME SAAAAAAAAAAME

NOTHING kills romance and character development like a baby. I don't even like it in canon.

SO BORING. Nothing turns me off a character or a pairing faster.

I have less than zero interest; I have an outright aversion.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-17 10:34 (UTC) - Expand

Psh! I prefer characters who have babies take the time to take care of their them, rather than be irresponsible and shit. Responsible adults are always badass in my eyes.

Maybe try not to take it so personally, OP? I doubt anyone is linking you babyfic to rub in your face that you don't like it.

Also, many, many people do like babies and want to have kids of their own. There is nothing wrong with being childfree, but you might want to work on not being so upset that people like kids and like reading/writing about them because it's part of human nature.

I feel very much the same, though fortunately my friends aren't into that. The few fandom friends I have are most slashers. And they know how I feel about babies.

I know it sucks, but it seems if you're female and of a certain age, some people just assume you're into that shit. Maybe you could kindly tell youre friends you don't enjoy that type of story.

Edited 2012-09-17 00:51 (UTC)

I hate pregnancy/baby fics for the same reason. My OTP are the parents of the main character, so like 70% of fics involve them getting pregnant etc. But I just loathe the idea of them not being able to do the same thing they always did.

I'm not into those kinds of fics either for similar reasons, but I can see why people would enjoy them and find them cute. Even when they involve my OTP, I just scroll past. No big deal if my friends like them or not.

Agreed! Fiction or RL, I hate babies. One of the many reasons I prefer to slash and femslash to het is because there's no risk of accidental pregnancy. (Except then someone had to go and come up with mpreg. *cringe*) I don't even know what I hate more, the body horror, or the domesticity forced on characters I love exactly because they fail at domesticity. But whatever, as long as writers warn properly, at least I can avoid it like the plague... poor you for having to deal with this stuff all over your f-list!

Total agreement, OP. In my case I ended up drifting off from a fandom friend who just couldn't get it that I wasn't interested in mpreg or babyfic. Every couple of weeks or so she'd link me to something, telling me it was fantastic (without mentioning the mpreg or baby). I'd go take a look, find out what sort of fic it was and say "Oh, thanks for the rec, but you know I'm really not into mpreg/babyfic." And she'd say "Oh, I know, but this one is SO GOOD! Just give it a try!" I don't think she was trying to make me want kids myself, but I have encountered people in fandom who are so clearly living vicariously through a pregnant character that they take it personally when I'm not interested in the pregnancy and that starts moving in that direction really fast. It's tough to be polite enough yet firm enough in that case.

Mpreg fics are ridiculous. Only the mention of it and I won't read the fic.
I'm not fond of baby fics either but het pregnancy and gay adoption I like if well written

(reply from suspended user)

Even though the first commenter has something of a point, I am still 100% sympathetic. I hate baby!fic and preg!fic, too, and sometimes it seems like it's everywhere!

(Seriously, though: "Thanks for the link, but I just don't like fic that's all about kids. Have you read any good how-they-met stories or zombie apocalypse AUs lately?" That way they know what not to rec to you, and also that you do like getting recs in general, you're not out to avoid all fanfic or secretly hating every author they link you to.)

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