[ SECRET POST #2088 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2088 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 021 secrets from Secret Submission Post #298.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

15. http://i.imgur.com/hXnT6.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

It's their secret tentacles, all fangirls have them. The second one of those babies sneaks out and plants its suckers on something, BAM, it starts leaking gay all over the place.

4/10

[insanenoodlyguy]

Too obvious.

[tasogare_n_hime]

Well this isn't an boring, lazy troll secret at all.(/sarcasm)

[forgottenjester]

0/10

You didn't even try.

Lol whut

[(Anonymous)]

*popcorn.gif

[hornpile]

this secret doesn't even make sense

gay/bi

[fingalsanteater]

Whew. I haven't laughed this hard in... a few days. Oh man. Too obvious, but what the hell. Major points for hilarity.

[(Anonymous)]

Well then, Master of All Things Sherlock, I guess you told them!

[brightblueink]

Wow, we're getting the best comments on this one! /popcorn.gif

[anonymouslyyours]

Your word choice here is really amateur hour. Yawn.

[biohazardgirl]

Wait, you mean they're NOT canonically gay?

I AM NOW ENRAGED. HOW DARE FANDOM USE INTERPRETATION TO MAKE PEOPLE WITH AMBIGUOUS SEXUALITIES AND A CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP DEFINITIVELY QUEER.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE THEY ARE INTERACTING WITH THE TEXT. DISGUSTING.

But seriously OP, besides a few trolls no one is going to agree with you here, especially people in this fandom. So you can go cry over there and I will continue to enjoy my fandom slash as much as I please.

ADLER AND HOLMES CHAPTER 10: GAY/BI

[insanenoodlyguy]

"IT'S TOO GAY IN HERE LATELY" SHOUTED HOLMES FROM INSIDE A PULSATING MASS OF UNDULATING FEMALE FUCKPATENERS. LIKE HOLY SHIT, AN ELDER GOD BROKE THROUGH THE BORDERS THAT SEPARATE THIS WORLD FROM HIS AND HE MADE HIMSELF A BODY OF POON. THAT'S WHAT WE'RE LOOKING AT RIGHT HERE. TO LOOK IS TO GO MAD IN THE ABYSS. AND THE ABYSS IS GAPING VAGINAS.

"THE FUCK YOU ON ABOUT HOLMES?" SAID WATSON, WHO HAD GAZED SO LONG THE ABYSS HAD STARTED BACK AND NOW HE WAS FUCKING THE ABYSS FROM THE TOP.

"ELE-FUCKING-MENTARY SHITSTICK. I'M SAYING IT'S GOTTEN GAY WATSON. OR MAYBE BI. GAY/BI. DOESN'T MATTER. WE NEED TO BE HETERO IN HERE. CAN'T RUIN SOMETHING GOOD."

"HOLMES, IT'S YOU, ME, AND LOTS OF WHORES WE PAID WITH SMACK AND SMACKS TO THE FACE. HOW IS THIS GAY?"

"I CAN FEEL IT MAN."

"I CAN FEEL A BITCH LICKING MY NADS WHILE I FUCK A HOLE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HOLE IT IS. I DON'T CARE. WAIT, OH FUCK FUCK FUCK. IS THAT YOUR HOLE?"

"NO!"

"ARE BALLS TOUCHING?"

"THE BALLS ARE INERT."

"THEN WERE ARE FUCKING PLATNIUM BRO. AND ALSO HOTHULU HERE."

"SOMETHING STILL FEELS WRONG!" HOLMES HEAD MANAGE TO FREE ITSELF FROM THE FLESH-THAT-OOZES.

"WATSON... BE HONEST. ARE YOU A GAYBI?"

WATSON DID THE MOST HETEROSEXUAL THING POSSIBLE. HE PUNCHED HOLMES RIGHT IN THE GODDAMN FACE.

"GOOD MAN. BUT HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A GAYBI AT SOME OTHER TIME?"

WATSON MANAGED TO SPIN AROUND SO HE COULD PUT THE BOOTS TO HOLMES HETERO STYLE BUT NOT PULL OUT OF THE SQAMOUS QUIM.

"OW YOU FUCKER, OKAY OKAY!" HOLMES WOULD NORMALLY BE HEADBUTTING HIS FRIEND AS ONLY AN INEBRIATED ENGLISHMAN CAN DO TO HIS FELLOW MAN, BUT HE WAS ENSNARED IN NOISOME ICHOR THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE MADE PRIMARILY OF HIS OWN MAN DRIPPINGS.

"BUT IF IT'S NOT YOU, AND IT'S SURE AS HELL NOT ME... WHERE IS ALL THE GAY COMING FROM?"

"I MIGHT SHIP IT." SAID ONE OF THE WHORES WHO MADE UP THE UNENDING LUST BEAST. ONLY IT CAME OUT MORE LIKE "MABARDBH F'TOSH. IA! IA!"

HOLMES QUICKLY WRIGGLED HIMSELF OUT OF THE ELDTRICH WHORE-ER. LOVECRAFTIAN ORGIES WERE ONE THING... BUT FANGIRLS?

"BURN YOU THINK THAT SHOULD NOT BE. BACK TO THE REALM THAT SPAWNED YOU!' WATSON SCREAMED, THANKFUL THEIR DECADENT LIFESTYLE ALLOWED FOR EASILY MADE MOLOTOV COCKTAILS, WHICH HE THREW AT THE MONSTROSITY BEFORE HIM.

THE CREATURE WRITHED AND REALITY TORE. IT SMASHED THE WALL IN IT'S THROES OF PAIN AND LEPT INTO THE NIGHT SKY.

"WASN'T YOUR WIFE IN THERE SOMEWHERE?" ASKED A NAKED HOLMES, PRODDING A SMALL TONGUE THAT WAS GROWING ON HIS THIGH.

"GODDAMN IT. GET THE CAR." WAS WATSONS REPLY.


PABAGIA

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think you're a troll, but I do think you're a shit-stirring moron for submitting this secret. If you've read the comments of a single Sherlock secret in the past, you'd know this opinion is neither unique nor well-received.

Congrats on the shit-stirring, I guess.

[gobbledigook]

Come on Fandom Secrets, I believe in you!

[pfefferminz]

You could have made this more entertaining tbh. Boring~

[elaminator]

[(Anonymous)]

Word, and why I hang out in boy-fandoms. They talk about things besides all this moopy-schmoopy romance shit.

[(Anonymous)]

Shut the fuck up.

[(Anonymous)]

And yet somehow, someway, OP, the internet will find the strength to go on.

[(Anonymous)]

I'd like to add /straight to that list.

I'm asexual and kind of annoyed that fannon sexualises non asexual characters but never desexualises characters. Yes, slash is fun but sexualising someone who is asexual is a squick for a lot of people. Why can't more character relationships just be written as deep friendships without fucking?

/rant.

[(Anonymous)]

It's completely obvious that they are bi-curious. The writing staff writes for Coupling for Chris-sakes. It has nothing to do with fangirlishness, it's just what's there. I am a dude and I ship them all day long. They're a couple, #getoveritillinformed.

[(Anonymous)]

It's because there are innocents like you out there, OP. That's why. We like to rub our deviance in your good, wholesome fun.

Seriously, though? They've been doing it before you were born, and neither's sexuality has been definitively stated.

[(Anonymous)]

In ur fandoms slashin' ur mens. Also ur wimmins.

[(Anonymous)]

you're completely right.
how can anyone call sherlock gay or bi?
he obviously is whoever-he-finds-interesting-sexual.