[ SECRET POST #2105 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2105 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 107 secrets from Secret Submission Post #301.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

15. http://i49.tinypic.com/21ndqae.png

[(Anonymous)]

The real question here is, why the hell do you feel the need to inform your friends about what you do in bed? Or your parents? O_o

[(Anonymous)]

MTE lol

"After last time we had sex, I curled up at Master's feet because I was so exhausted from all the whipping and restraining and nipple clamps. Oh no. My mother will surely kill me for this when I casually mention it over the Thanksgiving dinner table."

[(Anonymous)]

As a parent who found an open box of sex toys whilst helping son move house, sometimes these conversations just arise, y'know.

For the record, I closed the box again, we had a brief conversation, and I packed the subject away in my giant mental filing cabiner marked "things about your adult child that are none of your business".

[(Anonymous)]

Too big a chance they'll find out about it somehow?

[ooh_mrdarcy]

Idk, I sometimes inform my parents out of good-natured spite so I can watch them freak out.

[meova]

Sometimes it's hard to avoid, for instance when one of your friends helps you move furniture around and stumble upon toys. (Awkward :P )
Or, if you're masochistic, when you accidentally got bruises on places that are hard to hide/explain.
And if you still live with your parents, it's hard to even be interested in this without them noticing somewhat. I can't count the times my mum walked in on me researching this stuff. xD

[(Anonymous)]

Was about to say the same thing. I'm into BDSM and nobody but my best friend knows about it. Just don't have sex at home if you still live with your parents, and if you're worried about bruises, just talk to your dom. Any good dom understands if you tell him that you can't have bruises or scratches in visible places. (Because, let's face it, most people can't afford to run around with bruises on their face because of work, family etc.)

Unless you feel the urge to tell everyone you know about your sex life, I fail to see your problem.

[omorka]

Maybe OP doesn't want to live in the leather closet for all of zir life. Would you have asked the same question about someone struggling with coming out as LGBTQ? In both cases, it affects a great deal of any intimate relationship, how you go about finding partners, potential custody issues with children, etc. It's not just about "what you do in bed." BDSM just happens to be easier to stay closeted about.

[(Anonymous)]

There's nothing wrong with having kinks, OP. Everyone has them; they're just discreet about it.

(But I am a little confused as to why you chose that particular picture. When people write them, at least in this situation, it's usually non-con, not BDSM. *is a little bitter about that*)

[(Anonymous)]

I find it hotter in fic than RL. I can understand the appeal of submission, and if I could meet the ideal/an idealized dominant like in fiction it sounds like a lot of fun.

Then I look at the people I have IRL around me, imagine them taking the strong dom role, and can't stop laughing at the ridiculousness long enough to find it remotely sexy.

Nope. Nope nope nope nope LOL.

[(Anonymous)]

(Posting this anonymously for obvious reasons.)

Hey OP, you don't necessarily need to have a partner to enjoy those things. You can wear nipple clamps on your own, and just use your imagination to pretend that someone else is using them on you.

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe anon wants to live in some (messed up) perma-play d/s relationship?

[sachiko_san]

It's a kink, you don't tell your parents your kinks!

[handicaper]

can't do anything about your parents, but if your friends would hate and disown you for the legal consenting peculiarities of your sex life you might need new friends

(tho i agree with others, unless you're being kinky with THEM is it even their business)

[(Anonymous)]

Not really your parents business, and your friends should deal. As long as you behave in a safe, sane way and aren't being destructive, it's not really anyone else's business.

[ooh_mrdarcy]

Mum's the word. Now go and get your freak on.

[meova]

My advice - as someone who's also into those things and is finally getting the chance to have them now - would be to gather information about it so you'll be informed if you get the chance, and don't tell your parents and friends about it if they'd react badly. I know my parents won't like what I'm doing, so they don't know. I've told a couple of friends, and most of them were surprisingly okay with it and even told me about their own kinky secrets.
What I'm trying to say, in my clumsy way, is that you shouldn't feel the need to hide this part of yourself. You should just bide your time if you know the people you have to live with/people you'd feel have to know are not big on the idea.

[(Anonymous)]

Which pairing is this? I'm so used to seeing stuff like this they're all blending together in my brain.

[velvet_mace]

Your parents and your friends get no say in what happens in your bed. However, it could be that you are living at home right now, so your sexual exploration will need to wait until you've established your independence and have your own income and place to live.

My advice is to work towards financial independence and then move to a liberal oriented city where you are more likely to network with people with similar tastes.

[(Anonymous)]

You sound like you're pretty insecure about your kinks and have trouble accepting them. As others said, you don't have to tell anyone about them, but it seems like you haven't even quite come to terms with them yourself. I don't know where you live, but at least where I live most big cities have groups where you can meet up with like-minded people to talk, not necessarily for sex. It can help to meet other people like you just to know that your kinks are perfectly normal, nothing to feel bad about, especially if you can't talk to your family and friends. Might help to google a bit if there are BDSM communities wherever you live, people you can talk to, online or IRL. I know it helped me. (My mother is one of those feminists who think that BDSM is misogynistic and all that bullshit, so I felt really insecure about my kinks, too.)

[(Anonymous)]

That pairing...is probably not the best one to represent what you want, OP, particularly because as often as not, when it comes to things that are similar to BDSM, that pairing more often is actual non-con, not BDSM. Not that the pairing isn't fun and awesome - I love the pairing, just putting out there that most of that stuff with those two aren't what you should use as a guide.

That said, it's a kink OP, not something that you're required to tell anyone else. If you don't want your friends or family to know? Don't tell them. Though, if you live with your family still, you might want to wait until you move out to start exploring it - and I would strongly suggest getting involved with the BDSM community when you're starting out, instead of figuring this stuff out on your own, since the community can really help figure out some of the more complicated areas of it.

[nyxelestia]

In an extremely roundabout way, I got into BDSM before I got into sex.

Whenever I read smut, the sex scene bores me if there isn't some element of kinkiness to it, and I generally skim it over unless there's something plot relevant going on.

*solidarity fistbump*

[harp]

I never understood why people felt they needed to come out as fans of BDSM. It seems like it's totally nobody's business. Even in a 24/7 relationship and the dominant partner told the sub "today you're going to call me every hour on the hour and leave a message that's mostly you breathing and telling me how you can't wait to come home" and a friend overhears and questions, isn't it easy enough to say something like "I'm doing it in honor of Mind Your Own Business Day"?

[(Anonymous)]

...it gets better?

I intended to post that by itself as a silly comment, but honestly I mean it. Your own understanding of yourself and what you want, and how you think the people around you will react to accidentally learning about it? It's fluid, it'll change over time. You'll get used to yourself. And anyone who judges you for what you choose to tell them, if you choose to tell them, should shut the fuck up.