fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2118 ]

[ SECRET POST #2118 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2118 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

12.

__________________________________________________

13.

__________________________________________________

14.

__________________________________________________

15.

__________________________________________________

16.

__________________________________________________

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 102 secrets from Secret Submission Post #303.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What is the deal there.

Not meaning to sound racist, it's just I've seen more of this type of interracial relationship then any other combined, and I live in a really diverse city.

Some of the feminist blogs I follow have done articles suggesting its teh evil menz taking advantage of those poor submissive uneducated women, except this doesn't really strike me as the case, and sounds awfully paternalistic.

Is it just because they're more culturally similar, a colonial history promoting it as okay making it more acceptable, what?

lolwhat

I'm guessing the "deal" is that your friend and his girlfriend are physically attracted to each other and found enough common ground to realize that having a relationship together was worth a shot.

fwiw, most of the interracial relationships I've seen where I live have been black/white and white/hispanic.

Well, you can interpret it one of two ways, I think.

1) These couples just find each other attractive, like any other couple.

2) There are cultural factors at play. Depending on your friends, the entire "traditional woman" thing might appeal, whether or not it's accurate for the Asian women in question. This isn't bad unless it is indeed based on stereotypes; some people just want different things out of relationships.

It can go the other way too. White guys are taller and, as the rumor goes. Compared to some tradtional asian cultures, white guys tend to like their girls to be a bit less submissive then that, so they may feel less confined to a certain role. The appeal can go both ways.

Oh, and you know, BIGGER PENIS BIGGER PENIS BIGGER PENIS.

Re: You were expecting the last line from me, admit it.

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-20 21:02 (UTC) - Expand

Re: You were expecting the last line from me, admit it.

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-20 21:09 (UTC) - Expand

Re: You were expecting the last line from me, admit it.

insanenoodlyguy - 2012-10-20 21:14 (UTC) - Expand

Re: You were expecting the last line from me, admit it.

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-20 21:22 (UTC) - Expand

Re: You were expecting the last line from me, admit it.

insanenoodlyguy - 2012-10-20 21:27 (UTC) - Expand

Re: You were expecting the last line from me, admit it.

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-20 21:29 (UTC) - Expand

I think the cultural factors extend beyond the simplistic 'traditional woman' thing.

In the UK for example the most common (when controlling for factors like relative population size and such) relationships are middle-class white men/asian women and working class black men/white women.

I've seen suggestions that a large part of this is that asian women both epitomise the feminine ideal and the traditional middle-class ideal, with an emphasis upon high context culture, focus upon education, the importance of politeness and manners, etc. Whereas the opposite is true of black men.

White men are also seen as less traditional (valid or not), willing to engage emotionally, and more masculine then asian men - especially when you've been bombarded by media which promotes this.

Oh and we're taller.

When I was in Hong Kong so many girls were all about that, was such an ego boost.

Maybe you notice because you're explicitly looking for it, for whatever reason? Like when you get a new car and suddenly the entire city is filled with the same model. And maybe the deal here is that they were just attracted to each other?

Single asian female knows why!

SELL OUT

When I found out this comic was done by some bitter asian nice guy they transcended into magical.

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

insanenoodlyguy - 2012-10-20 21:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-20 21:46 (UTC) - Expand

>feminist blogs I follow have done articles suggesting its teh evil menz taking advantage of those poor submissive uneducated women

That's awfully offensively racist too. Let us educate you Asians about how we know better than you who you want to date. If you disagree with us and still want to date the white guy because you like him... no, no, silly Asian ladies thinking they have agency. Stick with your own group over there.

I am an asian dating a white guy. OMG.

Since I'm not uneducated, I'm going to agree with you that those articles are probably not quite accurate. I mean, yeah, they might have more of a point if rich white men go to relatively poor rural Chinese farmers and marry their daughters, but I'd say that isn't usually the case.

I think it's more of a "lots of Asian people" factor together with "even more white people" and then... well the chances are preeetty high that there are more than a few interracial marriages. Because. Duh. Most Asians brought up in white-dominated countries are more open to integrating fully to that country than, say, Muslims or black people (in my experience, this is just a personal anecdote or point of view). And there's not much stigma from Chinese parents for white/Chinese relationships.

ANYWAY I HAVE TO GO NOW SO I'LL STOP

You sound pretty racist.

No no, OP said they didn't mean to sound racist, that makes it okay.

At my work the largest type of inter-racial couples I see are muslim men and black women. So I think it's an area thing.

Muslim is a race?

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-21 01:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-21 02:17 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-21 02:54 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-21 05:02 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-21 05:49 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

cherrycoloured.livejournal.com - 2012-10-21 03:49 (UTC) - Expand

I would LOVE to introduce these feminist blogs to my step-grandmother. Halmuhnee is Korean. My grandfather is white. They met about twenty years ago when my grandfather went on a business trip to South Korea. Halmuhnee was working at the hotel he stayed at. According to her, my grandfather was so completely baffled at everything (he could speak a bit of the language but not read it) and she felt sorry for him, so she started talking to him. They hit it off and for the next two weeks he was there, my grandfather and Halmuhnee would go out and do things, and she started teaching him more Korean.

When he left, they stayed in contact for another year through letters, and then he went back to Korea for another business trip. This time, though, Halmuhnee came back with him.

Anyone who sees them together and thinks "white dude married to Asian lady = he likes that she's submissive" is a fucking moron. They're a funny couple- they talk smack about each other all the time, they tease each other, and they divide everything up pretty equally.

/cool story brosephine, I just think that feminist blog's mindset is stupid as shit. Have they ever actually met any white/Asian interracial couples? Or any other interracial couples, for that matter?

omg, that's so cute :)

I love stories like that

You're grandparents sound awesome! I love stories about couples who got together later in life - they usually seem to have such fun relationships.

I know several white man/Asian woman couples my age (30s) and all cases, the woman is not remotely submissive and is usually pretty career-driven and not at all interested in being a housewife (even if they have kids). Of course, I am a scientist and most of my friends are scientists and academics, so that skews the results a bit.

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

silverau - 2012-10-21 00:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-21 03:45 (UTC) - Expand

wtf is this post

i don't understand how this is difficult to follow: two people meet, they get along really well, they decide to go out

seriously "a colonial history promoting it as okay" what the actual fuck

One race blog I was reading said that while being Asian may not be what made them want to go out with them, it may be more like the "cherry on top".

Though saying these men are taking advantage can be pretty offensive in itself. Like these women didn't also make a choice and aren't strong enough to stand up for themselves.

Don't worry so much about who your friends choose to date. If one of these white guys actually say something racist then you can worry about that individual relationship, but other than that it's none of your business.

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-20 23:03 (UTC) - Expand

Veering slightly from this post, I just want to grumble about how frustrating dudes are out here in Japan. We just had an influx of new foreigners come in, and I swear to God every single white boy that isn't already married has been making it clear that they are only here for Japanese women. One guy literally said so to me and my friends when we were trying to be friendly and introduce ourselves to him. I'm trying not to do the 'judge all white men' thing but it's hard not to when they're all confirming my bias.

Unfortunately, they're also unlikely to have their behavior corrected out here, because there are loads of women who will hook up with foreigners no matter how gross their personalities are.

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-20 23:33 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-20 23:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-20 23:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

yeahscience - 2012-10-21 00:37 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-21 01:00 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

yeahscience - 2012-10-21 01:06 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-20 23:38 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

silverau - 2012-10-21 00:56 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-21 14:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

yeahscience - 2012-10-21 14:27 (UTC) - Expand

Re: another of my (white) friends has started dating an asian

insanenoodlyguy - 2012-10-21 19:31 (UTC) - Expand

Well, speaking as a white chick whose dating an asian chick...At least for us [and most of the interracial couples of the same makeup I've seen, and in general really] it's usually as much about the fact that we're both attracted to each other, and had enough chemistry and common ground that we gave a relationship a go. Nothing more, nothing less.

I'm not saying there aren't couples that decide to date for other reasons, or that there aren't cultural aspects that may be in play for some, or even most, of the couples [particularly the ones you know] but...really. The reasons are going to vary with every couple, just like it would with any other combination in relationships.

the fact that the prevalent quality you see when you look at her is that she is ASIAN is the definition of racism - you are racist

you'd probably be better off thinking about THAT and figuring out what that says about you and if that is who you want to be, rather than questioning anything about colonial history and what has or has not become acceptable

here's a hint: if you ever find yourself needing to add codicils like "Not meaning to sound racist", you can bet your arse you're being 100% racist

When you say "starting" I assume he hasn't dated an Asian woman before? Stop worrying. One Asian girlfriend does not constitute a behavior pattern deriving from entrenched, negative stereotypes, for goodness sake.

Even if someone consistently displays a preference for particular racial backgrounds, that's not necessarily a problem, either. A lot of people have "types" and it makes sense that some types would be more prevalent among people of certain races/cultures than others and thus a person ends up being attracted to people of a particular race. I do understand the suspicion as to whether there is anything beyond physical attraction underlying this, though, e.g. "I just like women of [race] because they're beautiful ~~and submissive~~ but I'm just not into women of [other race] ~~because they're bossy~~." Whether anything like that is happening has to be assessed on a case-by-case basis, though. You should wait and see how a couple interacts and why/how they get together and break up before jumping to conclusions.

NOT TO SOUND RACIST BUT [INSERT RACIST THING HERE].

I'm half Asian/White. Go fuck yourself you racist dick.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only