case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2012-12-30 06:19 pm

[ SECRET POST #2189 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2189 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 084 secrets from Secret Submission Post #313.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I have an incest kink.

You are telling me that one of the ways I cope with my abuse makes me an evil person.

so yes, you're telling me exactly how I should feel.
ellie_oops: (Default)

Re: ayrt

[personal profile] ellie_oops 2012-12-31 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Honestly, you should probably talk about your coping methods with your therapist not some random on F!S.

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
and you should talk about your issues and judgement of other people with a therapist instead of blindly accusing random people on F!S of being evil without knowing a damn thing about them, you condesending, self-righteous, self-centered piece of shit.
ellie_oops: (Default)

Re: ayrt

[personal profile] ellie_oops 2012-12-31 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Now I'm 95% convinced you are trolling. So sad.

da

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 10:12 pm (UTC)(link)
And now I'm 100% convinced you are proving ayrt right. So sad.

Thanks for letting me know you're an user best ignored in this community.
ellie_oops: (Default)

Re: da

[personal profile] ellie_oops 2012-12-31 10:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Good. I don't want people who encourage abuse to be anywhere near me.

DA2

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 11:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Where exactly do you see people encouraging abuse ffs? All anyone is saying is incest kink has nothing to do with real life!

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 10:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I am absolutely not trolling. I am being completely, 100% serious. I was molested and threatened with rape as a 7 year old. For whatever reason, I have developed a fictional incest kink. I only express it through fanfic and occasional roleplay with consenting adults.

I'm not telling you that you don't have a right to be uncomfortable with it. That's totally understandable. But there's a lot of people like me out there, and you're telling all of us that we are evil people because of how we cope. That makes me very, very angry, and your complete lack of empathy for people like me makes me more inclined to think you're evil rather than the OP.

You can keep being a stubborn ass if you want, but if you're going to publicly rail on this sort of thing, I just hope you're aware how hurtful you're being to abuse victims like me.

If you don't care, then I feel pretty damn justified in calling you a bitch.
ellie_oops: (Default)

Re: ayrt

[personal profile] ellie_oops 2012-12-31 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
I lack empathy because several people have insisted that incest (fictional or not) is just fine. I don't doubt your situation but tbh, the coping method concerns me, to me it feels like it's a part of the cycle of abuse. That is why I asked if you talked to your therapist about it. Mine helped me find ways to deal and cope without putting myself in a bad situation.

I have doubts about some of the people who are encouraging this as no big deal. I have doubts about the people telling me to fuck off. I have doubts about people who acknowledge that it is "normal" and "okay" because it's a fantasy. I have doubts about the people saying "it's a fantasy" because that diminishes the truth of it.

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 11:01 pm (UTC)(link)
It's fiction. Do you think that someone that writes a murder mystery is going to go out and murder IRL? No? Then why is this different?
ellie_oops: (Default)

Re: ayrt

[personal profile] ellie_oops 2012-12-31 11:14 pm (UTC)(link)
What about someone writing stories about raping children? What about people who read and fap to stories of children being raped? What about people who write stories about screwing sheep? What about people who read and fap to stories about screwing sheep?

Oh it's all fiction, it's all okay, we are all special snowflakes who must never be shamed.

What about the singer in Cardiff that got arrested for arranging to rape an infant? I wonder what sort of sites he visited? I wonder what sort of things were hanging out on his harddrive? I suppose it was just his kink and oh no, he shouldn't be shamed for that. He's a special snowflake like all the rest of us.

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
lol Just wow. You're just as bad as those morons who think violent games make children kill people. It must be drafty up on that pillar darling, that inflated head of yours is probably going to make you fall from it soon. Would you like a blanket and some hot chocolate to console you, you wilting flower?

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
da

Typical SJW response, tbh. You sound twelve.

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
And you sound like a troll. Instead of tossing around an insult, why don't you debunk their part of the debate? Nobody so far has made it clear how this is different from calling gamers (or actors playing a murderer) an actual murderer.

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) - 2012-12-31 23:49 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) - 2012-12-31 23:55 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
What about someone writing stories about raping children?
Fiction, and not always meant to be about getting someone off. (In fact, it's often meant to EXPOSE the horrors of abuse.)

What about people who read and fap to stories of children being raped?
Creepy, but still a fictional child, and much preferable to actually going out and raping a child.

What about people who write stories about screwing sheep?
Fiction.

What about people who read and fap to stories about screwing sheep?
Fiction. Doesn't mean they're going to actually screw a sheep.

Oh it's all fiction, it's all okay, we are all special snowflakes who must never be shamed.
But it IS fiction. Nobody is actually getting murdered, nobody is actually getting raped, nobody is actually engaging in bestiality. And in some of these cases, they might actually be using it to cope with something, as I am.

Not every person that reads a murder mystery is going to kill someone. Not every person that reads a story about rape is going to rape someone (or is even doing it to be turned on).

I seriously hope you've never, ever, ever enjoyed any fiction that contains anything illegal in it, because based on what you're saying you're just as guilty of it. Ever read something with murder in it? You're a murder by your own logic.

According to responses in this very thread, you are shaming ACTUAL ABUSE VICTIMS for ways THEY are using to cope. So congrats, you're a heartless asshole. YOU should be ashamed. You're causing more damage to actual abuse victims than someone doing something completely in the privacy of their own bedrooms with consenting adults that aren't actually related to each other. You are telling people that they should feel evil, just as much as those that abused them. YOU SHOULD BE SHAMED FOR THAT.

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
OK, points to you for not descending to the automatic SJW knee-jerk conga, but here's where your "it's all fiction" breaks down: There is an old acronym that's been kicking around the computer field for thirty-plus years:

GIGO. Garbage In, Garbage Out.

It's all fiction, it's not real life, BUT it IS images and thoughts that you are willfully allowing into your head/mind/subconscious/etc. So, even though you might consciously, with your higher brain, think you can compartmentalize it, you've only got one brain, and the wiring runs throughout; so you CANNOT compartmentalize it, at the deepest level.

It's one thing to try and justify it and say, oh you'd never do that in real life. Maybe not consciously. However, if you're OK with those kinds of disgusting scenarios or images in your head, then you are desensitizing yourself to the point where one day, it just MIGHT, in the wrong circumstances, be OK for you. Do you want to take that chance? More to the point, why do you want to keep that kind of garbage in your head in the first place?

Which isn't even addressing the fact that OP actually does want to do this to someone IRL.

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 11:54 pm (UTC)(link)
You've got a lot of nerve talking about people knee-jerking, you know. You are a seriously arrogant person, or at the very least, you write like one.

Not to someone. With someone. This isn't going to be some victim, he's wanting a consenting adult that is interested in it.

I'm not a SJW. I think most of that stuff is stupid. But I'm also an actor, a writer, a roleplayer, and an adult that can clearly distinguish between reality and fantasy.

Again, I'm going to ask you to address this, and I want you to give me a straight answer instead of dodging this question: Do you think an actor that plays a murderer is going to actually murder someone? Do you think that someone that roleplays a murderer will roleplay someone? Do you think that someone that plays a violent video game will murder someone?

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-01 00:34 (UTC) - Expand

NAYRT

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-01 00:40 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-01 00:54 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-01 20:45 (UTC) - Expand

NAYRT

[personal profile] aquila_black - 2013-01-01 19:57 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2013-01-01 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
A singer in Cardiff who did appalling things should be arrested for having DONE appalling things. Because apart from all the people who you won't catch by policing their hard drives (who continue to make up the overwhelming majority of the prison population), you're bothering untold millions who have never, and will never commit any sort of crime.

The argument that thinking about the wrong things leads people to offend has been torn to pieces in the digital age, when every sort of perversion turned out to be more popular than anyone knew. The various closets kept everyone isolated. They made it possible for society to say "what you want is weird" unchallenged, to every sexual orientation and kink except the one it condoned. But now? Shaming is not going to convince anyone, ever again, that they're alone.

And contrary to what you might expect, I'm happy about that, because it has also helped countless rape victims, child abuse victims, and other people who have been brainwashed into thinking they deserve what they get to realize that's not true. Speaking out empowers us all.

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 11:23 pm (UTC)(link)
da

This is different because TO OP IT IS NOT FICTIONAL. He (of course it's a guy why am I not surprised) wants to do this IN REAL LIFE. NOT IN FICTION IN ACTUAL FACT. He tries to cover how bad this is (I wouldn't say dude is evil, but he's certainly mentally disordered) by saying he's squicked by the pedos looking for jailbait.

Unfortunately (IMO) the "anything goes" and complete lack of monitoring of peoples' children on the Internet, is what is propagating this idea that "everything is OK everywhere at any time on the Internet as long as it falls out of your brain onto the keyboard" that, as OP's screed demonstrates, is starting to bleed over into the general population, and leading to unacceptable permissiveness in general society.

Which a lot of us (I suspect most of us ITT who have issues with these problems are adults, and the ones with these problems (which they are incorrectly being conditioned by their peer groups to believe is OK), are children, who just don't understand the power dynamics of sexual politics, nor why there are social boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable sexual acts for a reason.

So that's why there are at least three of us in this thread taking the hard line and saying, this is definitely not OK, and if you think it is, you've either been brainwashed by the far too permissive attitude towards perversion and deviance on the Internet, or alternately, you're just not old enough yet to see how delusional you are to think that this is in any way kosher IN REAL LIFE SITUATIONS.

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
He wants to sleep with someone, an adult, who is not actually his sister and roleplay it. It is completely, 100% an act, not real, and not actually abusing anyone.

Unless you think actors that play murderers are actual murderers. Or anyone that plays a video game involving killing someone.

Look, as I've said SEVERAL times, I was molested as a kid. I'm not saying actual child abuse is okay. It is absolutely not okay. But this is not actual child abuse. This is someone sleeping with an adult and roleplaying.

Oh, and for the record, I'm 25, so no, I'm not a kid that doesn't know any better. I'm just old enough to understand that there's a difference between roleplaying and actual abuse.

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2012-12-31 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Talk to me in 15 years. I remember 25. It is definitely not as old as you feel it is when you're in the middle of it. My point stands, Garbage In, Garbage Out. Even if OP thinks it's fantasy, ESPECIALLY if he is acting it out, AND getting satisfaction from it, which means the reward centres of the brain being activated, which I don't think actors get, because they're not getting off on pretending to be serial murderers (at least I hope they aren't) or other situations, but yeah, it kind of still applies in that situation as well, IMO.

NAYRT

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-01 00:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2013-01-01 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
And some people want to live-action roleplay rape. Do you think this means they actually want to rape and/or be raped?

If you do think that, then you are being consistent, and you should probably take it up with them.

If you do not think that, then you are being inconsistent and making irrational judgments.



If, on the other hand, you are arguing that a constant diet of fictional incest will lead young impressionable internet users not to realize someone is abusing them -- that is a valid concern and deserves to be discussed. Say that, instead of condemning everyone with a particular sexual kink as mentally disturbed or evil.

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2013-01-01 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
AYRT

I guess I meet your criteria of consistent -- and I am also arguing that a constant diet of perversions on the Internet will not only normalize such things in the minds of impressionable children...when they grow up and become adults, such things could very well become normalized IN REAL LIFE due to not being fought hard enough against on the Internet.

The fact that you've so normalized these things in your own mind, that my opinion is treated as condemnatory, just illustrates my point.

DA

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-01 02:39 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-01 21:00 (UTC) - Expand

DA

(Anonymous) 2013-01-01 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, because abuse survivors should be seen and not heard. I don't know why the rest of the world lets us leave our houses, if substantial conversations about subjects that matter to us can only be had by spokespeople. Like you. /sarcasm

I think (hope?) you have no idea how offensive you're being, by saying "I have a right to talk about this, but you. Go back to your therapist."

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2013-01-06 07:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Honestly, you should probably talk about your coping methods with your therapist not some random on F!S.


Well, if your coping methods came from talking with your therapist, that's an excellent testimonial for NOT talking with a therapist. Or at the very least, not YOUR therapist, because hon, your coping methods SUCK SHIT.

Someone with excellent coping methods, someone who's actually overcome the traumas of their past to become a healthy human being, doesn't need to occupy a special privileged place above others in order to function. You? You spew post after post of your opinions on the subject and expect everyone to pay heed - even as you say "I have no interest in hearing you or anyone else try to justify this." That's not a healthy person. A healthy person can treat others as equals, and doesn't need a blatant double standard like that.

"It's easier to wear slippers than to carpet the world." Familiar with that saying? Understand what it means? You sure show no signs that you do. A good therapist would help you understand boundaries; understand that if OP, a stranger you don't know, someone who might not even be in the same country as you, plays games of "Let's Pretend" with other consenting adults behind closed doors, it isn't even your business, let alone something you should be obsessed with broadcasting your horror of. You are trying to carpet the world, something you wouldn't feel the need to do if your therapist had in fact taught you decent coping skills.

I believe you're sincere: I think that you really do think that you understand the difference between mentally healthy people and mentally unhealthy people, and feel confident in your dogma that having any sort of acceptance for even fictional incest automatically puts one in the "mentally unhealthy" category. But your own behavior is not that of a stable, mentally healthy person, so I don't know why anyone would think that you actually are some sort of expert whose thunderous pronouncements actually carry some semblance of weight.