[ SECRET POST #2389 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2389 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Avenged Sevenfold]


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[Professor Layton]


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[Yoroiden Samurai Troopers (Ronin Warriors)]









Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 015 secrets from Secret Submission Post #341.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

05. http://i41.tinypic.com/30l2tdc.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

If it's an issue for you, couldn't you just not post on those topics?

[kaijinscendre]

I always feel weird during Father's Day on Tumblr because it seems like everyone had a horrible father and I am just sitting here with my "My Dad Was Awesome" balloon. Maybe I should just start pretending my dad was an asshole...hm.

[(Anonymous)]

My dad's awesome.

[al28894]

Same. My dad's a bit strict, but it's because of him that I could go to all the countries that I wanted to go, including pre-clusterfuck Syria (special mention because we all had a good time with everyone there).

I wonder if good dads are in the minority there.

[tabaqui]

HA, no. My dad was freaking awesome and i'll brag about him to anybody that asks. Don't even. You have no reason to be 'ashamed' of a good parent.

[cloud_riven]

Is that what happens? I avoid happy family topics because I assumed it was full of people appreciating their parents or something, and all that would just depress me. Sad & jelly here. Blueberry jelly beans.

Now I want to avoid them because of weird guilt mongering going on. It's a pretty dumb thing to make people feel bad for essentially counting their blessings.

[(Anonymous)]

My Dad is awesome too. I just don't say anything about it unless someone asks me directly.

[dancing_clown]

Here's the thing: Most of the time, when "How are you?" situations come up...people don't really care. They don't want you sob story, they don't want your missive on personal triumphs and elation. They're just being polite by acknowledging your presence.

So here's what you say if you're doing okay: I'm doing okay.

And then you move on.

[(Anonymous)]

Why does it matter if you're happy with your life? I'm sure people with depression and anxiety and the other godawful stuff a lot of people in fandom suffer from have way more shit to worry about than someone on the internet having a nice life.

This comes off as such humble bragging. 'My life's so great, I'm so tired of having to play it down!!!!' Like, would you rather have a sucky life so you didn't have to?! I bet the vast majority of people would either be happy for you or not care that your life's great. Just because you don't like your life doesn't mean you're automatically dragged down by other people being happy. I feel like a lot of people might be jealous, but they'd never blame anyone for sharing happy news.

I'm in fandom and I'm also happy with my life. There are parts I'm not happy with, but I've had a very easy life and I feel very blessed for it. I have no idea why anyone would wish to play down their own happiness.

[(Anonymous)]

The thing is, there are some people out there who are, if not jealous, then at any rate angry about seeing evidence that other people are happy. they're even pissed off to see people getting flowers at work from their SO, or having pictures of spouses and children on their desk, or dressed to go out after work.

[(Anonymous)]

You just gave a prime example of the sort of reation the OP fears, so congrats for that.
"humble bragging" - the accusation speaks volumes of the "how dare you be better off than people who aren't" variety.
FYI people with serious problems do have more to worry about. People on the internet with less serious ones, but massive needs for attention and stroking are quite willing to tear into someone of whom they can be jealous, or to wail "its alright for some, I'll never get the breaks, you should feel bad for having one".

It happens.

[(Anonymous)]

You know, what you're doing *here* actually comes off as more of a brag than just saying 'Things are going okay.'

I mean, I have a life that tends to flip-flop between 'Really Bad' and 'Decent', and the only time I ever was effected by how someone else answered? When they used it to get, and keep, the conversation completely focused on themselves.

[(Anonymous)]

Yanno OP sometimes I think everyone is doing this?

...I may just be too cynical when it comes to the Internet and its culture. I mean this: I could tell stories that would curl your ears (tho' I generally tend to look for the gallows humour in the events of my past, whenever I think of them myself) and have the SJWs falling all over themselves with their crocodile tears...but it would just be pointless, and a slimy grab for attention, that I would sooner stuff both of my feet down my throat, than engage in.

TL;DR; OP your friends can be summed up in one simple phrase: First World Problems.

[transcriptanon]

[Picture is a colorful helium balloon floating upwards to the sky, which looks very polluted or dirty, it's a weird brown-purple color. Maybe they're clouds illuminated by the city lights below? It seems to be nighttime.]

I have been in quite a few fandoms where the majority of people are depressed, socially awkward or have some other issue. When the simple issue of "how's your life" comes up, I overplay the few bad things in my life. If I say my life's actually pretty good right now, I feel like I'm bragging.

Sometimes it's as simple as saying "no, I wouldn't drop my life to go to (canon location), I'm actually satisfied here" and I feel like I'm rubbing their sadness in their faces. So I pretend my life sucks just as much. I'm tired of this.

[insanenoodlyguy]

You sir are an idiot. Why would you even bother going someplace where you have to lie and not be yourself? Isn't fucking fandom the place where you are supposed to be able to do that above all else?

[(Anonymous)]

Oh my God, I can relate to this so much. My life's fairly drama-free and I feel weird not having the level of trauma so many post about. When I do have minor problems I don't even want to bring them to my posts because I want my posts to be fun and fandomy for all.

[(Anonymous)]

OP5, meet OP1. Was that the point of today's posts?

I feel like part of the problem is that being in online fandom actually exacerbates people's problems. Literally. Like, if you have problems being social, sitting on the Internet isn't going to help that. It also becomes something of a circle jerk where people who have trouble being social are being told that they have a "legitimate mental problem" and the solution isn't to just get out there and practice being social. (Which is not to say that some people don't have legitimate mental problems, but my guess is that most people are either shy, introverted, and/or have poor social skills and would benefit from practice).

Another thing is that the people with problems tend to the be loudest and the most attention seeking so it seems like they're everywhere but it's really just a couple of people. Which is not to say that you should brag about how great your life is, but you don't need to lie about it either.

[sootyowl]

I suffer from mental illness and I have to say reading peoples happy blogs don't make me jealous. I'm happy that other people are happy. In fact, happy blog posts can cheer me up. Why are you causing yourself undue stress over something you don't suffer from? That sounds rather stupid and trivializes illness and disorders other people have.

If you like your life, then say it. You don't have to be like "I LOVE MY LIFE! SORRY YOURS SUCKS." Just talk about your life in normal ways. People can deal with that. People with a mental illness aren't going to break if they hear about your happiness. Give them more credit.

[writerserenyty]

I know what you mean. I don't necessarily pretend my life sucks, but, as far as stuff goes, I've had a pretty good life, and I genuinely love my family. I don't think it's a bad thing for people to vent, but it is odd sometimes to be the one person who's like "My life's great =D"

[ooh_mrdarcy]

silly, it's okay to be happy

[(Anonymous)]

Dear OP ... please stop. Be happy with your life since it's awesome, and be honest. Anyone who takes that as an attack on their delicate sensibilities can go fuck themselves.

My life is rarely awesome, but that doesn't mean that i'd get upset that someone is having a great time ... that's just stupid. As long as you don't trivialize the problems others talk about and just say "hey, from where i'm sitting, things are pretty sweet" it's all good.

Besides, it can be nice to hear that there is some happy left out there in the world.

when they ask ...

[(Anonymous)]

.. just say, "I don't want t6o talk about it."

Which is true.

And if they draw their own (erroneous) conclusions, well, that's that.

[(Anonymous)]

I actually will thank you for this. I am a not-so attractive, older (for fandom) single woman who has only ever had sex once in her life and no real hope of a relationship in my life. I get depressed when I go places to fan about my fav fantasy characters and people are all gushing about their boyfriends, the amazing sex they had last night or their kids and grandkids latest cute adventure. Not that they are wrong for doing it, and I don't have a leg to stand on in complaining, but I do appreciate you.

[(Anonymous)]

I just shrug and go "it's working out right now". Everyone has different stages of life. Some are in great spots, some are in bad and we're all zigzagging up and down.

They're not allowed to get angry at you for being ok right now though