[ SECRET POST #2420 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2420 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 064 secrets from Secret Submission Post #346.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Gross extended relatives

[(Anonymous)]

What is some fucked up shit your extended family has done?

Just brought on because my mother just told me she was going through her iPad, which she let my cousin's step-daughter use at Christmas, only to find a video where the girl picked her nose and then wiped it all over the screen.

This girl is like 12 years old, wtf???

Re: Gross extended relatives

[kaijinscendre]

Well, most of my extended family up North are criminals. So...I just try and avoid them.

When I went on my trip back home to SC, one of my cousins (who was just released from prison) was there. My sister ran to her boyfriend and was like, "That is my cousin _______, try not to be alone with him. And be nice. He will kill you." And the BF was like (thinking it was the usual shovel talk), "Yeah, okay. lol." And my sister goes, "No. He will kill you and go to prison. He doesn't care. If I were to go out there right now and say you hurt me, he would hurt you. And. Go. To. Prison." Fortunately, Cousin ______ was well behaved and no blood was shed.

Some of the stories I could tell you about my family up North...they are nuts.

Re: Gross extended relatives

[(Anonymous)]

Ew.

Re: Gross extended relatives

[(Anonymous)]

My extended family is shockingly non-fucked up. There are a lot of them, yet I don't have a single relative who makes for a good story. The worst I can say is that I had a grandfather who was a functional alcoholic, but he was never abusive and he died a long time ago. The rest are lovely people and I'm pretty much the only person I know who enjoys family reunions and visiting any and all relatives. (As a kid, I never understood why my friends complained about those things so much.)

Re: Gross extended relatives

[(Anonymous)]

I had a great uncle who killed a child molester. He's still in prison

My great grandmother walked in on a cousin having sex with one of the cows at their farm

Re: Gross extended relatives

[(Anonymous)]

My family is mostly very respectable. But one of my uncles had a kid he didn't know about for a long time, that's probably the most scandalous thing.

Re: Gross extended relatives

[writerserenyty]

My uncle may or may not be in prison in an African country. (I want to be as vague as possible to protect him).

The thing is, he's been there for 2+ years, but his family (since he's my uncle by marriage) has lied a fair bit, so none of us have a clue about what he may have done and if he's getting out.

So yeah. I don't know what he did, but he's in prison now.

Re: Gross extended relatives

[(Anonymous)]

When you say "extended", do you mean my blood relatives or the lunatics who created my SO? There is some whacked out stuff on my side but my in-laws? Hoo boy, we are talking some shit there.

My mother always said "Families all have in-laws and out-laws" when talking about the crazier relatives. She wasn't joking, I realize now.

Re: Gross extended relatives

[(Anonymous)]

I have a friend whose second cousin led a genocide. He always wins these kinds of competitions.

Re: Gross extended relatives

[dreemyweird]

All the weird crap in my family was done by me :/ If there are exceptions, they fall on my parents' lot (such as illegally crossing an international border and, when caught, claiming that they were "fire husbands" [wtf even]).

Re: Gross extended relatives

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't call it "fucked up shit" because it wasn't intentional, but my grandfather died September 3rd, 1970. My sister got married September 3rd, 1994.

... nobody knew how to tell her. I'm not sure if anyone ever did. :/

Re: Gross extended relatives

[cakemage]

Well, I have suspicions about the extent of my deceased uncle's perversions, but I don't feel comfortable going into much more detail than that. Suffice it to say that he had issues that he never addressed. Also, there is an extensive history of severe mental illness on both sides of my family, so that makes for some interesting reunions. Wanton promiscuity runs in the family too, though, so it's not all bad. Wish I didn't have such intimacy issues so that I could carry on such a grand tradition...

Re: Gross extended relatives

[(Anonymous)]

Oh dear. My family is the very picture of fucked up dysfunctional underclass.

Starting with my biological mother, she drank herself to death when I was 9 mo. old. But before that, she and my bio dad used to leave me alone in their shitty little apt above the bar, and go down and drink. For hours. CPS was called multiple times, but apparently they managed to keep me.

My bio dad kidnapped me when I was 2, with the help of my grandmother.

My aunt and cousin regularly scam the church they are connected to in order to go on expensive and extensive holidays.

There's more, but my mind literally shut down at the fairly depressing stories. :)

Re: Gross extended relatives

[anonymouslyyours]

My step grandfather's eldest granddaughter (whom he raised most of her life) told me the only reason she got pregnant with her third child is to keep qualifying for some benefits her children got through their father from Chickasaw Nation that was limited to parents with children under a certain age. She wasn't the best mother to her first two kids but she actually wanted them. Talking about the new baby she seemed resentful that she had to go through this to get what she felt she deserved. But she didn't stop doing drugs during the pregnancy, contracted pneumonia, and miscarried.

That side of the family has done some really, really fucked up things but I never felt as sick as I felt first when she admitted her motivation as if it was completely normal (repeatedly and in front of her other children) and then when I felt relieved when she miscarried. :/

Re: Gross extended relatives

[making_excuses]

Oh I had a great grandfather whom knocked up 3 different women at the same time, which ended up with them all living in different floors in the same house... His wife and two of his lovers, I can only imagine how the children grew up. Also his wife must have been pissed when he brought home the first one, by the second one she must have just gone "Oh for fucks sake man! Another one?"...

Re: Gross extended relatives

[iceyred]

I've mentioned my meth-head, baby-killing, whore cousin on this site before. The rest of the family seems fairly normal compared to that mess.

My older brother spent time in jail for stealing cars.

My uncle's a lawyer. And a Communist. (I'm not making this up)

I'm about as white-bread average as they come, but my mother refers to me as being disturbingly cunning and manipulative. I guess if I wanted to I could be 'that' cousin.

Re: Gross extended relatives

[(Anonymous)]

I have a cousin who burned down a school...

Re: Gross extended relatives

[(Anonymous)]

Well, underage sex has led to a couple of underage babies.They're paying child support but refuse to actually acknowledge the child :/

Some assault cases, nothing major just broken some jaws. One of my family had to take a restraining order out on one crazy girl, but then kept like inviting her to things so idk why they bothered.
One set fire to a park in fire season, it ate about half a school field before stopped (that was really dumb, they were dared to light fire to the ground and didn't think about what if it got big)

These were all done as kids, my families pretty good at getting their act together when grown. Maybe not getting anywhere, but stopping with that kinda shit.

Re: Gross extended relatives

[(Anonymous)]

Probably the most fucked up non-criminal people in my family are myself and my step-brother. We're together and everyone just kind of pretends that we're only roommates.

Re: Gross extended relatives

[ginainthekingsroad]

Ooh, I've got one! In 1974, my great-great grandmother was 70 and convinced she was going to die soon, so she wanted to see all of her relatives in Europe one last time. (side note: Nonna outlived them all, passing at 103 in 2008) She took my 14 year old mother with her, seeing friends and relatives in Italy, Austria, and her hometown of Fiume, which was in communist Yugoslavia (modern-day Rijeka, Croatia).

One of Nonna's sister's sons (or grandson?), my mom's uncle Luigi, drove them into the country because he had some business there. On the drive there, my mom was pretty uncomfortable in the backseat because the floor was covered in stuff with a blanket over it. She looked under the blanket and found a WHOLE BUNCH OF RIFLES. And was convinced that they were immediately going to be discovered at the Yugoslavian border, and with her American passport she was going to be detained and never see her family ever again. This was also about a week after Nixon's resignation. Anyway the car wasn't inspected and they got to Rijeka and back just fine.

Uncle Luigi allegedly died in a car crash on that same road into Yugoslavia a year or two later. My mom always wondered how accidental it really was...

Re: Gross extended relatives

[(Anonymous)]

My Grandmother [other side] started dating a guy who kicked me out because I spent too much time at campus studying. Because, apparently, my 'place' was at the house. Which led to 'fun homeless times' for a while, and a few even less pleasant things.

Re: Gross extended relatives

[thene]

lol, nice timing, tomorrow my roommate and my husband are headed to Florida together to deal with my roommate's family emergency, and by family emergency I mean this [link is medically gross, not for the easily squicked].

My father was the fucked-up one everyone avoided; kooky anti-semitic conspiracy theorist rural isolationist weirdo alcoholic. Sadly because of that I don't even know most of my relatives well enough to know which are the weird ones.

Husband has some pretty epic awful relatives. His father has been divorced five times, and my husband was conceived after his parents divorced. My husband's brother is a Republican who has denial meltdowns if you mention their Arab heritage. They have a cousin who's a very devout Catholic who wrote and published an anti-gay book with her then-boyfriend - a guy who set off the gaydar of everyone in the entire family. They later broke up for some mysterious reason.

Re: Gross extended relatives

[(Anonymous)]

I feel pretty lucky to have an extended family that is really very awesome! There are a few in-laws that do their best to ruin it though. One in-law in particular was pretty nasty, she had abused her own kids and later got involved in a custody battle for a grandchild while way into illegal drugs. She lost that one, thank god, but she still hangs around like a vulture.

Most of the crazy shit among our blood relations is done by my sisters, with occasional help from me. One had a kid at 19 and got married in Reno. In awesomer crazy shit, the other once drove 300 miles to see a concert overnight while telling our mom she was sleeping over at a friend's. I'm still amazed she pulled it off. And kind of proud.

Re: Gross extended relatives

[al28894]

Not as fucked up as some of the examples here, but it's still worth mentioning.

One of my relatives, divorced, moved to one of my family's houses (we own a few) and she makes a living making homemade snacks and selling them by the roadside. My family also hires a maid who has been with us for so long (+- 20 years, to be exact) that she's more a family member than just a maid, taking her to vacations and giving her tickets to go back home every year.

At first, nothing major happened. But a few months later I heard my mother and my maid talking to one another in the car that my relative has been secretly rearranging some of the stuff in our home and blaming the maid over it. Knowing our maid for far longer than she does, none of us bought it.

Then, my sisters and my maid saw my relative wearing my mother's necklace and straight out lying that she got it herself (explain how did you get the exact same gold and diamond pattern that cost my mother a bomb in the jewelry store over 5 years ago). Sure enough, my mother exclaimed that night that her bomb-cost necklace went missing after she visited said relative.

I never saw my relative after that. Later on, I found out from my sisters and cousins that she's been wanting to take the maid spot in the family or years (probably because of the high pay and extraneous benefits) and that she's even made fake calls to other relatives bad-mouthing my maid over it and hoping to stir some shit up.

I have no idea where she is now.

Re: Gross extended relatives

[greenvelvetcake]

This isn't too scandalous, but considering my dad's side of the family is strictly Catholic, my cousins have had a LOT of kids born out of wedlock.