[ SECRET POST #2421 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2421 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 051 secrets from Secret Submission Post #346.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

09. http://i39.tinypic.com/2hmmwpw.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

How do you pay the bills?

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe they live with their parents?

[souljelly]

Fandom can horribly, horribly addictive. At this stage it's definitely worth talking to someone if you can, about cracking the habit.

I've gotten a little fandom addicted in the last couple of years. Trying to move on from it and expand my other hobbies though. I hope you manage to find a way to get some more balance into your life, anon. Best of luck.

[(Anonymous)]

Person, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself. Now that you've identified the problem, you can start trying to fight it. I think this is what they call addictive personality?

[(Anonymous)]

Man, I don't know how old you are, but if you were my kid I'd be putting parental locks on your computer and getting you therapy so you could grow up and get out of my house.

[kallanda_lee]

Maybe you could use a character you like to motivate you? Like, to BE like them, and not just watch them. Real adventures happen out there.

[(Anonymous)]

I recommend some kind of productivity software and give yourself a set amount of time a day on tumblr/twitter/whatever. I did this, and I found other things to do, things that made my RL better, even if they weren't getting a job right away. Sign up for something to get you out of the house (if it's an option, PAY for it so that wasting money motivates you to go).

And hey, maybe you *think* you only have one friend left but the other ones might just be waiting for you to get over whatever thing you're going through. I know when I was in a similar situation I was difficult to talk to.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not gonna tell you how to do things, OP.

But since you made this a secret, I get the impression it's something you're not happy about.

What are some other things you can do - not fandom related - every day? They don't have to be big things, they can be small things. Day-to-day chores, if you live with your parents, you could ask them if they need help around the house, and if they'd even pay you a bit of money for it.

You could also list of things to do. Think of things that are productive or creative in some way, even better if they're something you enjoy or a useful skill. Making instead of consuming.(For example - you could do a barista course, learn how to make coffees, maybe get part-time cafe work.)

And you don't have to give up fandom in order to hold down a job. Plenty of people are both massive nerds and have regular jobs.

Just one step at a time. Don't be disappointed in yourself if you don't get there straight away.

[sootyowl]

Fandom can be all time consuming. Maybe there are others reasons as to why fandom has taken over your life? In dark times, people generally seekout things that comfort us and seperate us from reality for a bit.

That might have nothing to do with you of course. Either way, I hope you are able to seperate fandom from your life and get back on track, anon.

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe try to keep the PC/whatever you use to go online turned off for a day. Maybe two. If that works, try some of the stuff the other people suggested. If you feel you can't cope without having your constant stream of fandom, seek help. There are more addictions than just drug addiction, and they can be just as harmful after some time.

[darkmanifest]

It happens to the best of us. I had to forcefully lose (through lack of bill payment) my internet connection for months to break my addiction, but once it happened and I realized I really could live without it, I was free for good. I hope you find a way, too, OP.

[transcriptanon]

[Picture is the musical group The Beatles, the Ring from the "The Lord of The Rings" trilogy of movies, Commander Shepard from the "Mass Effect" videogames?, some doors with the words "DON'T OPEN DEAD INSIDE" painted on, with tons of hands peaking out between the bulging doors as zombies try to burst out, the cast from the TV show "Star Trek", Walter White from the TV show "Breaking Bad", the covers of the book series "Harry Potter", and a map showing two large continents or masses of land (couldn't identify fandom, sorry), all inside circles around the text of the secret.]

Fandom has taken completely over my life. I failed to get a degree. I have one real life friend left. I spend 16 hours a day on tumblr and livejournal. I don't have a job.

[(Anonymous)]

beg whomever is paying for your living to get you psychological/psychiatric help?

Unplug your computer

[insanenoodlyguy]

Better yet, have whoever is supporting you do so.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a little surprised no one is calling Troll on this. That was my first thought.

Tumblr and LJ seriously aren't THAT interesting.

[(Anonymous)]

I can identify with this. I spend almost every waking hour that I'm not working (I do have a job 3 days a week) scouring the internet for news about an obscure actor from an old show that I was a fan of. I'm obsessed to a point (would never want to physically meet the guy). And for a few other fandom things like reading fic and keeping track of several other shows I like. I don't go out anymore, I haven't contacted friends I used to have, I hardly talk to my family. It's very comfortable though to have all the drama in my life be on the computer and not actually in my life.

[(Anonymous)]

If fandom has really "taken over your life" to that extent, I doubt all those RL consequences are actually due solely to fandom in and of itself. You probably have some major underlying issues, and you've chosen fandom as your choice method of avoiding them. Other unhappy people who have some kind of issue -- can be as simple as unhappiness or dissatisfaction with your current life, or as complicated as a diagnosable psychological problem -- come up with other distractions or indulgences to distract them from whatever problem is actually stopping them from achieving what they need to achieve. You seem to have fandom.

IA that quitting fandom, just going cold turkey for a while, is a good idea because it might allow you to get unstuck from this quagmire you're in, and think about your problems without a distraction to stop you. But I seriously doubt just quitting fandom will be the end of your problem, and I doubt fandom was the source of it. Yeah, fandom is addictive and you can get buried in it, but it isn't something like drugs or alcohol. It doesn't take over a person's life unless it's just filling an already-existing hole.

So don't let yourself think that fandom is the only thing stopping you from a fulfilling life -- that's how people justify continuing their bad habits, by pretending a symptom of their problem is the root of their problem and that they can tackle it in a moment whenever they choose to. Get to the bottom of it instead. And quit fandom so you actually have the time and focus to get to the bottom of it.

[(Anonymous)]

While I don't want to make a fool of myself engaging in armchair psychology, I'm gonna suggest that ONE reason you MIGHT be so consumed with fandom is because perhaps, at this moment in your life, your non-fandom life is either a) intimidating/anxiety-inducing and you want a safe place like fandom where you can disengage from that reality, or b) disappointing/lackluster, and fandom gives you the excitement and comfort and enthusiasm that you are lacking in other areas of your life.

I suggest, depending on your personality, you do one of two things:

1) cut yourself off from all non-essential internet activity for a period of weeks or even months. There are programs you can install to enforce this, like parental locks. Give another person the passwords involved and ask them to change them so that you can't cheat. This way, fandom is no longer an option and you can't use it to hide from your problems.

Or, 2) give yourself a schedule where for three or four days a week, you are absolutely not allowed to do anything fandom-related. Instead, you can have the comfort of knowing you can engage in fandom the other three or four days a week, but on the no-fandom days, you have to find something else to do. This way, you will get forcibly more exposed to other things that you might take an interest in, and fandom will not be such an overpowering presence among your interests.

This will not only loosen fandom's hold on you, it might also cause you to examine yourself to see what's wrong in your life right now that you felt the desire to bury yourself in fandom rather than live in the real world.

[(Anonymous)]

Please, get some help OP. It sounds like you sorely need it.

I try to avoid armchair psychology..."try" being the key word here

[nyxelestia]

Obviously, no one here needs to tell you that you have a problem - you can already recognize that you have one. And you probably have a good idea of what you would need to do in order to help yourself with that problem, and even if not, many others on here have made excellent suggestions, which I hope can help you in one capacity or another.

All I will say, OP, is that I sincerely wish and hope that you break free of this addiction, and that I firmly believe you can. You have at least one person in real life who can help you, if not more in the form of old friends who want to get back in touch with you, new friends you can make by branching out, and any family that might still care for you (and whoever it is you are living with that allows you to not have a job or degree and still have an Internet connection). And believe it or not, if you tell people online that as much as you love them, fandom is harming you/your livelihood and you need to break away, many of them can help out, too.

There are people around you who can help you, both online and offline (and maybe even both). Reach out to them, and reach into yourself for whatever it takes - motivation, discipline, well-channeled anger, desire for happiness, anything - to get past this problem you have.

I don't want to use some absolutism like "you can do it!" because I don't know you or your situation and I tend to take those types of broad-brush statements as condescending as hell, so I won't say it. What I will say is that there are many, many people who have been in your situation or even worse that have gotten past it. Google "Internet addiction rehab" and you'll realize just how many people have your same exact problem - maybe you'll find some people, groups, sites, and other resources amongst the search results that can help you. :)

[helios-blue.livejournal.com]

Many good advices has been written above, but I'll add one thing: if possible, don't add any more fandoms in your life.

No matter what others say about how interesting/awesome a show/book/whatever is, don't touch it if you're already drowning in your current addiction.

[(Anonymous)]

I had a friend like you once. The emphasis is on 'had'.

[(Anonymous)]

*hugs*

You can stop anon. You can.

[(Anonymous)]

So advice is all well and good, but how about this: It's not just you. You're not the only one. I get it. Other people get it. I lost a job over this bullshit, once.

Dunno if that helps you, but it helps me. Nice to know I'm not the only one.