[ SECRET POST #2432 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2432 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[Leverage]


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02.


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03.
[Dragon Ball Z]


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04.


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05.
[John Cusack, Say Anything]


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06.
[Arrested Development]


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07.
[Star Wars]


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08.
[Easy A]


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09.
[Star Trek]


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10. http://i.imgur.com/XrNzg6P.jpg
[link for porny art, illustrated]


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]















11. [SPOILERS for Twin Peaks]



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12. [SPOILERS for dangan ronpa, fire emblem awakening, pokemon special, and gatchaman crowds]



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13. [SPOILERS for Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

















14. [WARNING for abuse/incest/non-con]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #347.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

04. http://i.imgur.com/mvo2RUA.png

[silverr]

Holy crap, anon, this relationship sounds so toxic that just reading the secret was painful. Get OUT.

There has got to be other porny RP somewhere for you that won't shred your psyche.

[(Anonymous)]

No, you don't deserve it.

Honestly, it sucks to end an rp partnership like that, it really really does, in a way that people who don't rp usually don't understand.

But it's worth it. I've done it before [in fact, I just finished with a very toxic partner], and once you get past the initial missing them/the stories/etc, you really do feel start to feel better.

[(Anonymous)]

1. No. You do not deserve abusive behavior or manipulation, for any reason, ever.

2. That sounds toxic as hell. Start shopping for a new RP buddy (under a different pseud or character if that makes it easier). The easiest way for a lot of people to get out of a toxic dynamic is to realize other people can provide things you need, too. The same rules apply as for friendships and romantic relationships: you are not beholden to this one person, even if they seem, right now, like your perfect RP soulmate.

[(Anonymous)]

http://www.google.com/#q=quitting+toxic+people

seriously, get out

this is abusive relationships 101

your friend sounds like they've got a legit disorder

http://outofthefog.net/

you don't deserve this, it's your "friend" gaslighting you into thinking you deserve them and nobody better and that you can't and shouldn't quit them

you'll find other RP partners who aren't probably sociopaths, I promise, OP

[lunayoshi.livejournal.com]

A tidge OT, but I just wanted to thank you for linking that out of the fog link. I used to be in an emotionally abusive relationship and had trouble pinpointing exactly what was wrong. That link helped me figure it out and note the warning signs early to prevent it from happening again. Plus, it's always nice to hear you're not imagining things. :)

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a little bit late, but I wanted to say I'm glad you got out. *Offers a hug*

OP

[(Anonymous)]

First: Thank you for the links.

Actually she's my lover too, which complicates things even more, but I made the secret specifically about the RPing part. Maybe I should have clarified...

I've wondered if she does indeed has a legit disorder. She doesn't seem to realize the damage she does to me, and whenever I tell her she's hurting me, she reacts with angry crying, horribly offended because how could I dare to say such terrible things about her.

(Then she lists all the times she has stayed by my side while everyone else has deserted me.)

I realized long ago that the relationship is an abusive one. And I have tried to break it off. And failed again and again. There are people who actually care for me that hate her guts for what she has done, but even they are tired of how I'm unable to quit her and tired to hear me complain.

I'm bookmarking the links. I promise. Maybe this time...

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

DA

I was in that exact spot two years ago. The girl was the best RP partner I've ever had, and we were just perfect together like that. I remember so much of it just reading this comment... she was horrible for me.

I broke it off once, but the next day, I took her back. Then it continued, and she had leverage since I had once left her. She guilt tripped like no one else, and even though I realized that she was bad for me, it was extremely difficult to stop.

But then I had a friend who forced me to do it. So I told her that she needed help, and that I couldn't be with her anymore. It was so painfully, she said that she would kill herself if I left, but I just kept saying that she needed help and that I had to break it off. And that was it.

I miss the roleplays. I miss her amazing way of speaking - she spoke like no one else I have ever met. But I am so, so happy to be free from it all.

I wish you good luck. You WILL feel better when you get out, so do it, as fast as you can. You deserve to be happy and rid of her.

[transcriptanon]

[Picture is yellow text on a white blank background.]

YOU'RE NOT ENTITLED TO MY FICS: A NOVEL

You have awesome skills as a roleplaying partner, our porn is the best, your kinks are my kinks. But your horrible, possessive, manipulative personality has me broken in the worst ways. For years. And every time I cave, I give in, and give you what you want just so you stop holding random our stories.

How I wish I could quit you. But I wouldn't find someone like you to Role Play with, there's too much time of emotional (and creative) baggage... and honestly, if I can't cut ties with an abuser like you, then I deserve it. So I'm keeping my rage a secret. Simmering, with Stockholm and poison.

[dinogrrl]

It may not seem like it now, and it may seem impossible or pointless to try, but believe me...cutting a toxic aspect from your life is the best thing you could ever do for yourself. I'm not saying it won't hurt--it literally took me a full year before I could even think of the person without feeling all sorts of sickness and guilt and self-loathing and look at the situation with a more level-headed and critical eye. Now, I'm me again. I'm free, and I've learned how to keep myself free. It's been seven or so years since then. Haven't regretted it once.

Nobody deserves abuse. Nobody.

[(Anonymous)]

seconding this

seriously op, it's not easy, but it's worth it in the long run, i swear

Thirded.

[lunayoshi.livejournal.com]

It is SERIOUSLY not easy. It is very very not easy. But it is VERY VERY WORTH IT.

As hard as it may get, the harder part is to keep from "relapsing" and going back to them. I can only stress you find a support system that'll keep that from happening.

What I think will be nice for you is that you may not only be free of a toxic relationship, but maybe you'll learn you don't really care as much about having so many things in common with your RP partner as you do right now so long as they're nice to you. Or maybe finding another RP partner will help you realize there are other kinks (or whatever) that you like just as much.

I guess what I'm saying is that there are likely other unforeseeable benefits from escaping than just what's at face value. You'll be without the pain, but you can gain a bunch of stuff you never imagined, too. I hope that made sense. :) Good luck!

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry for being so late to reply, I hadn't been able to get into the computer the past days.

You're my hero for being able to get out of an abusive relationship, and keep yourself from repeating the patterns. Makes me glad, and gives me hope. Thanks for your words.

YOU DO DESERVE IT

[insanenoodlyguy]

BECAUSE YOU ARE HAVING THE SHITTIEST OF PRIORITIES. YOU ARE PUTITNG YOURSELF THROUGH ANGUISH FOR WHAT: FOR ONLINE RP.

GO WATCH REGULAR PORN. GO WATCH ANIMATED PORN. GO READ LITERATURE PORN. GO TROLL ONLINE TILL YOU FIND SOMEBODY ELSE. MASTURBATE TO YOUR OWN THOUGHTS.

ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE VIABLE SOLUTIONS. BETTER SOLUTIONS. EASY TO FUCKING START TODAY SOLUTIONS. START ONE. OR ALL. WHILE YOU DELETE ALL CONTACT INFORMATION OF OTHER PERSON.

YOU ONLY DESERVE THIS UNTIL YOU IMMEDIATELY MAKE YOURSELF DESERVING OF BETTER. WHICH YOU CAN DO. UNTIL THEN, CRY SOME MOARRRRRRR

Re: YOU DO DESERVE IT

[(Anonymous)]

...You do realize that rp =/= porny timez, right? There are actually a number of people who don't like rping smut.

Re: YOU DO DESERVE IT

[(Anonymous)]

No, they are not viable solution, they are not creative outlets. Rping porn is so much better than watching or reading it, especially since you can write it with characters you want to see that porn with :| And writing said porn alone is just not fun, so that's not an option either, it will never come close the experience of writing that porn together with someone else :|

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Saw this late. Sorry.

I do deserve it, but not for the reasons you gave.

It's more complicated than the rp'd smut. I just didn't want to make a wall of text about my relationship, and this is Fandom Secrets. But she's not just my rp partner - she used to also be my lover, and I'm saying "used to" just because we've always been in a kinda on-and-off relationship (at her whim), and we're currently in "off mode". Knowing her, she'll probably want me again in a couple of weeks, and it'll last another couple of weeks in which we're happy and she treats me with tenderness before I piss her off by existing, and the cycle will go on. Because yeah, it's true: I'm weak, I want her back too.

In Homestuck jargon, I'd say we flip black and red like crazy. Romantic hate can be a very addictive, damaging poison. There's passion and the adrenaline of the most awful fighting, yet you know the other person won't ever abandon you like everyone else has done. (God, don't I know about people abandoning me...) But I don't mistake this as something healthy, nor think it's something to strive for. The relationship has been an abusive one for years, and I'm not the one doing the abuse. Sometimes I sober up, realize this is destroying me, and make stupid secrets to vent.

But I end up going back. I always go back to her despite knowing better.

See why I say I deserve it?

[(Anonymous)]

OP, BREAK IT OFF.

Oh, it might be hard at first, but you'll realize how much better you are without this toxic person.

Hell, I recommend writing a fic that has slightly altered versions of what characters this person plays- I bet they are intolerable, too- and give them just desserts. Trust me, it's fun.

[(Anonymous)]

For the love of god OP, GET OUT OF THIS FRIENDSHIP. DO IT FOR YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR SANITY. Yes, it will be hard at first, but it will be SO WORTH IT later on.

You'll be able to find someone to RP with that won't manipulate you like this, I PROMISE.

[(Anonymous)]

I...I can only say I feel you. Getting out on one hand, being creative and having someone to rp with on the other. It's not an easy choice.

[(Anonymous)]

I understand.

I'm only halfway out of the dark myself. I'm held hostage in other ways, but I finally cut creative ties.

You can pull your characters out. You CAN accept unfinished stories. And you will be so much happier for letting them go, and believing they'll finish themselves without you.

You'll find new stories. With someone new. I did. I promise. You can.

*hug*

OP

[(Anonymous)]

*Hugs back* I'm glad you're getting out, and really hope you can break the hostage situation. I'll be cheering on you.

[(Anonymous)]

This sounds vague yet horrible. I'm not an RPer but I have been in toxic friendships and while painful, it's so much better when you finally get out. Please get out, OP.

The stories and the porn aren't worth the hurt and the toxicity.

[(Anonymous)]

You don't deserve this. I came extremely close to having this happen to me when I rp-d. I didn't realize, back then, that rp-ing can become so intense. When the person I was rp-ing with started to behave oddly, I was completely baffled, and incredibly uncomfortable. I wanted to rp, but they were sabotaging my story and using emotional blackmail on my character with theirs. I got out because the story mattered more to me, and I knew I could write it on my own.

I think this might be more common in rp situations than I suspect. I'll be thinking of you and wish you all the best.