fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2468 ]

[ SECRET POST #2468 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2468 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 065 secrets from Secret Submission Post #353.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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it's not a jealousy thing, it's just that I'm really uncomfortable with how misogynistic it is. I've told him repeatedly that I think it's misogynistic, and that it makes me uncomfortable, and to his credit he's stopped playing it in my presence, but I really don't like that he plays it at all. I just don't want him to be the kind of person who knowingly consumes misogynistic media, does that make sense?

any suggestions?

you sound really, creepily similar to the idiots who insist their bf stop watching porn.

1. he doesn't watch porn. I didn't have to "insist" on anything
2. fuck you

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 20:33 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 20:33 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

insanenoodlyguy - 2013-10-05 20:35 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

fingalsanteater - 2013-10-05 20:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

case - 2013-10-05 20:37 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

insanenoodlyguy - 2013-10-05 20:40 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

case - 2013-10-05 20:43 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 21:52 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

insanenoodlyguy - 2013-10-05 22:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

fingalsanteater - 2013-10-05 20:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-06 08:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

ecoerrante - 2013-10-05 20:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

dethtoll - 2013-10-05 20:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 21:24 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

case - 2013-10-05 21:52 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

dethtoll - 2013-10-05 21:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 22:00 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

elaminator - 2013-10-05 23:12 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 20:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

forgottenjester - 2013-10-05 20:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

fingalsanteater - 2013-10-05 20:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

forgottenjester - 2013-10-05 20:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

insanenoodlyguy - 2013-10-05 20:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

forgottenjester - 2013-10-05 20:53 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 20:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

fingalsanteater - 2013-10-05 20:48 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

chardmonster - 2013-10-05 20:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 21:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 21:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

chardmonster - 2013-10-05 22:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 21:24 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

fingalsanteater - 2013-10-05 20:35 (UTC) - Expand

Don't.

He's already stopped playing it in front of you because it makes you uncomfortable.

Games with misogynist themes don't make players misogynist, games with violent content don't cause people to go on killing sprees, more news at eleven!

No, misogynist themes can totally make people misogynist. Games aren't a special type of media that doesn't affect people just because you enjoy them so much.

It's just that this idiot's boyfriend is an adult with the right to play what he wants.

Re: No.

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 21:09 (UTC) - Expand

He stopped playing it in front of you after you told him how it makes you feel. Anything beyond that would be really controlling on your part. As long as he doesn't have and act on misogynistic attitudes irl, let him play the damn game.

This.

You said it. :D

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

sootyowl - 2013-10-05 20:43 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

darkmanifest - 2013-10-05 22:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

elaminator - 2013-10-05 23:10 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 23:28 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-06 01:23 (UTC) - Expand

SJW troll? IS that you?

If not, stop being a harpy bitch of a girlfriend and try to be a better person that deserves a boyfriend.

If you are an actual person... accept it or move on. He obviously likes it. Trying to change peoples tastes and preferences? Rarely if ever works. Maybe you could change his worldview, but baring that, he doesn't think there's anything wrong with what he's doing. He obviously respects you enough not to do what you don't like in full view, but you aren't asking him for that. You are asking him to CHANGE WHO HE IS.

Concentrated efforts to do that rarely, rarely work. People do not change unless they feel they need to. It'd be like asking you to start getting into the game and liking it, not going to happen. Adapt. Deal. Change what you can: Your fixation on it. And if you can't change that and reconcile who he is and what he does with what you can put up with... change your relationship.

I suggest getting the Rosetta Stone software for Dutch and trying to becoming Amish. See if you can get him to convert with you.

Barring that, block every channel on his television but O, We and Lifetime and burn his console.

Fire is too patriarchial

insanenoodlyguy - 2013-10-05 20:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: You're going to have to ban him from all media.

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 21:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: You're going to have to ban him from all media.

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 22:11 (UTC) - Expand

Re: You're going to have to ban him from all media.

mechanosapience - 2013-10-05 22:51 (UTC) - Expand

Re: You're going to have to ban him from all media.

kallanda_lee - 2013-10-05 23:36 (UTC) - Expand

Either relax and deal with your bf having different standards in media than you, or break up and find a bf with your standards in media.

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

insanenoodlyguy - 2013-10-05 20:48 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

chardmonster - 2013-10-05 20:55 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

insanenoodlyguy - 2013-10-05 20:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

chardmonster - 2013-10-05 21:06 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

tabaqui - 2013-10-05 21:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 21:57 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 22:10 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 23:18 (UTC) - Expand

That makes sense, OP. But you can't control the media that other people consume.

lol

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

kallanda_lee - 2013-10-05 23:38 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

chardmonster - 2013-10-06 05:16 (UTC) - Expand

The fact that he actually did as you asked and only plays when you're not around says a lot about him.

The fact that's not enough and you want to control what he plays outright says a lot about you.

I hope he breaks up with you.

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-06 01:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-06 07:58 (UTC) - Expand

i think this is one of those things that you might have to compromise on. if he's still playing it then your best bet is probably to just make sure he's not absorbing any of the misogyny and other gross shit in the game. he's already not playing it in front of you, that's really the most you can ask for.

this whole thread is ridiculous though honestly

Accept that this is an activity he enjoys in his free time, and stop trying to control him. As long as this doesn't transfer into real life, you have nothing to worry about.

Do YOU have kinks/guilty pleasures? How would you like it if, say, he noticed you like to read CBT and then told you to stop reading it because he doesn't want you to be the kind of person who *knowingly* consumes media that disrespects men and their genitalia?

You can't change what people like, no more than you can change the person. If this is a real deal-breaker, maybe you should find a brony to date.

I guarantee you knowingly consume media that someone could make a valid argument in defining as misogynistic, because you don't agree it's misogynistic. Now, while the GTA series is, objectively speaking, a woman-hating piece of shit (I say that with gamer affection), you're holding your boyfriend to standards you don't achieve yourself if you consume any popular media at all. And that's fucked up.

Someone could partake in misogynistic media and not have misogynistic ideals, opinions or thoughts.

Holy shit, as long he's not misogynistic because of it (or at all), calm down and let him play what he wants. He's already not playing it around you, don't become one of those controlling gfs for fuck's sake.

If you genuinely feel that strongly about the issue then you should probably end the relationship and seek out somebody whose moral stances are more in keeping with your own. Putting pressure on your boyfriend to stop consuming media you don't approve of isn't going to chance his preferences, and is highly unlikely to change any values he may have.

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-06 01:37 (UTC) - Expand

Re: how do I get the BF to stop playing gta

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-06 02:42 (UTC) - Expand

Assuming BF means BoyFriend the only way to go is to tell him to stop murdering virtual hookers or he'll be having to gets his needs met by real ones.

If he's not playing it in front of you, there's nothing else you should heckle him over. It's perfectly fine to enjoy misogynistic things, he obviously acknowledges it at such and he's doing it outside of your presence.

You don't get to dictate what he does out of your presence. You need to realise he's his own person too.

The thing is, he is the kind of person he is, whether you want him to be or not. You can ask him to change his behaviors and he can choose to do as you ask or not, but you don't get to change him to suit your preferences. The fact that you couched your comment in those terms does not strike me as a good sign.

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