[ SECRET POST #2492 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2492 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 028 secrets from Secret Submission Post #356.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Money Woes

[lynx]

I realize this may sound really childlish and petty, but I'm so bitter about this.

Since I didn't have a job, my dad sent both me and my brother a monthly allowance of around 100 USD each to cover mostly what amounts to transportation (Which is FUCKING EXPENSIVE here, seriously, a single trip on a bus or at the metro costs 1.5 USD, one way only; so consider an amount of 90 USD spent only to move around the city daily) and also if we want to do stuff like drinking a coffee with a friend once in a blue moon. We didn't get any more money than that in the whole month - we had to manage it tightly.

My dad lost his job some months ago, and stopped sending money, so my mom has stepped in since August. It was alright.

Last month, I had to make some emergency internacional calls. They... were also really fucking expensive, which is quite unfair, since they weren't long calls or anything like that. I saw the details on the bill and the price per minute is astonishing. Now, I've got a job, but I don't start 'till Nov. 4th, and even then, I won't see a paycheck until the end of the month.

My mom saw the telephone bill. I apologized, explained the situation, and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I got my first paycheck. She said "fuck no, I'm not waiting that much". Then, she proceeded to pay herself from my allowance, efectively cutting it in half.

This really screwed me over. Now I have to survive October with 50 USD (and remember what I said about commuting costs being around 90? Yeah, I don't know how I'll move around either with 50. Probably with magic). It fucked over all my plans for the month - for example: I'd been wanting to meet up with my friends next weekend, haven't seen them since May. Yeah, gotta forget about that.

I'll also be eating plain rice or plain potatoes the whole fucking month; because since I'm the only vegetarian in the house, I'm the one who pays for the ingredients to cook my meals (and yes, I cook them myself, because nobody will cook them for me either).

I'm just. I feel like this is massively unfair. I was going to pay her back, I had finally managed to get a job, I had thought this was going to be the end of my mom constantly remarking how much of a useless parasite I am. It's not like I don't know that at my age I should be providing for myself. I'm so angry. WTF.

Re: Money Woes

[(Anonymous)]

I understand that this is a tough spot for you, but I think your mom was well within her rights and it's only unfair if you define unfair as sucking ass.

Re: Money Woes

[lynx]

I don't think you understand. I buy my own food with that money - she doesn't. I go to therapy three times a week, and it's on the other side of the city; along with other daily activities I have to use public transportation to get to. I don't have a clue of how I'll manage, and she knows this. I even buy my own meds.

Those 100 USD are all I have to do... well, anything at all. I'd be fucked if I didn't live at her house. And even then, she's verbally abusive (and sometimes physically abusive); so it's not like living here is particularly pleasant. It only means I have my basic needs covered (except for food and medication).

What pisses me off, mostly, is that I had an emergency and now she's economically punishing me for that, despite knowing I won't be able to make ends meet this October thanks to her. I was going to pay her back for those calls, I had no clue they would be so outlandishly expensive; but I was going to repay as soon as I had my first paycheck. Which I'm not inventing nor it's an ethereal concept: I DID get a job, and I WILL be paid for it. At the end of this month.

Re: Money Woes

[(Anonymous)]

You certainly don't have to explain yourself to me, but I'm not clear what type of emergency requires stealthily expensive international calls.

Re: Money Woes

[lynx]

My dad lives overseas. The convivence here has been so awful lately, my mother has left me crying several times, and one of those times was because she beat me. I was trying to contact my dad. That's all.

Re: Money Woes

[lynx]

SUP, CAN'T EDIT THIS, but I'm talking about the money for November, not for October. October is almost over. What worries me is surviving November. Sorry for the brainfart, I fucked up, I'm trash, etc o/

Re: Money Woes

[castle_anon]

Ouch. Is this your November allowance that got cut in half? Because $50 is barely enough to cover three weeks of round-trip 5-day workweeks. Maybe if you explain it in that context, she'll loosen the purse strings a little.

Re: Money Woes

[lynx]

Yeah :/ Each 26 I got 100 USD to manage 'till the next month, and this is my November allowance. And I already had several versions of this conversation with her, and got nothing. I'll have to start selling stuff, on the side of having a full-time job.

Re: Money Woes

[(Anonymous)]

Oh boo fucking hoo. You have 50 bucks for the WHOLE REST OF OCTOBER! However will you manage FIVE DAYS? You sound really entitled with this post. You're not getting all the free money you want. You accidentally spent your money on phone calls and can't hang with friends or go extraneous places. Nobody will cook your vegetarian food for you.

BRB, I have to go pluck a twig so I can carve you the tiniest violin.

Re: Money Woes

[lynx]

Go kindly fuck yourself. This is the money for the whole month of November, you dipshit. Haven't you got any reading comprehension?

Re: Money Woes

[(Anonymous)]

Now I have to survive October with 50 USD
Actually, I do.

Re: Money Woes

[lynx]

FML. *Sigh* You gonna troll me because of a typo?

Re: Money Woes

[(Anonymous)]

I'm really sorry that your budgeting got screwed up, that does rather suck.

I'm not 100% sure about your living arrangement, but I take it that you live with your family? If you're living with them, and not otherwise paying for utilities or rent, especially only under one person's paycheck, I'm afraid your mother has the right in this so far. Like you've found out, it's tough to budget when there's an unexpected expense, and as your mom is supporting at least 3 people, so her taking the money out sooner than your paycheck is more understandable, because she may need that money for taking care of the family.

But otherwise, would it be possible to cut down on traveling around the city as much, to afford for better food?

Re: Money Woes

[lynx]

I live with my mother and siblings, and she's NOT in a tight situation economically. She does work an awful lot, but she gets paid fairly well, well enough that taking 50 bucks out of my allowance is not going to make any diference at all for her (but it will for me).

I don't know how I could cut down moving around the city. Sadly I have a therapy to attend; and now on top of that I will also have to go to work.

Re: Money Woes

[(Anonymous)]

Ah, I see, so this was more her either being vindictive, or trying to teach you a "lesson", not a survival situation.

It does suck when a parental figure is willfully hurtful and misunderstanding of your situation, and I'm sorry she's being like this to you.

At least for cutting down moving around-- maybe walking more places, rather than taking transportation? If any of the transportation costs are geared toward leisure pursuits, like visiting clothes or bookstores maybe put them off until you have a paycheck?

While I realize mental health is very important, can you maybe do one visit a week, rather than 3? Especially if you'll be using that money to get to work, the money that you'll need to help pay for future visits. Or can you make alternative arrangements with your therapist?

Or, on a final note, can you ask your mother or siblings to help bolster the cost of transportation to work? I know it's probably not an ideal choice, but it's kind of necessary.

Re: Money Woes

[lynx]

Yup. It's all about "teaching me a lesson", and has nothing to do with survival. She's well-off and doesn't need that money.

To not bore you with our life story: Spanning 20 years, we went from low-class "living with government aid" to upper-midclass; because both my mom and my dad (minimal wage workers at the time) managed to get scholarships for university, worked their asses off, and were damn lucky. But there's a thing: Being "formerly piss-poor" means people have a certain mindset when it comes to money. Mom's quite stingy and has a colorful array of neurosis related to how she was brought up. Even I try to not make any unnecessary spending, because I remember how things were when I was a kid. I seldomly visit my friends, I don't ever buy clothes (I use what's given to me as a gift), and same thing with books (my greatest pain, because I love books). Actually the only thing for myself I consistently spend on, is food, because I like good food and ngl, being a vegetarian can be quite boring if you don't do something of an effort to spice things up. So it's not like I was spending my allowance on unnecessary stuff.

I'll mull things over with my therapist. Maybe we can arrange something. As for transportation to get to my job, it's still within walking distance, but it's not nearby. I was hoping to use the tube or the bus to get to it quicker, but I'll just have to make time to go walking there.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I really appreciate it.

Re: Money Woes

[(Anonymous)]

No offense, but when a sucky situation limits your ability to get around, you have to cut out trips. Don't visit friends. If you can survive it, don't go to therapy. Save that money just for getting to your job, and nothing else.

Re: Money Woes

[lynx]

I'll have to do that. Thanks for the advice. I sure wasn't going to do any social visits, but limiting my trips to the therapist might do the trick.

Re: Money Woes

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe you could talk to your therapist on the phone instead of a regular session? Is that option available to you?

Re: Money Woes

[khronos_keeper]

SUP LET'S DO THIS AGAIN (sorry for the delete). I am still with stella, I'd like to give a bit of money to someone who could really use it right now, and to someone who I've never seen be anything but nice.

If you're comfortable with it, send me a PM and we'll work something out. :)

Re: Money Woes

[lynx]

jfdklsj I typed a long response to this and my computer died, jfk.

As I was saying: You both are too kind, seriously, and I'm very very very moved right now. Thank you for the offer, I can't even put into words how much I appreciate it. I... I'm still unsure if I should accept, mostly because I'll be a while before I can pay you back and I kinda had drilled onto me all my life I shouldn't accept gifts except under very specific circumstances. (You know how some parents are all "if someone offers you something nice say no, because you'll be burdening that person"?)

I kinda need it, though, and I'm very grateful to both of you. Maybe if you let me do something nice for you in return? Tell me what you'd like :'3

Re: Money Woes

[khronos_keeper]

Hey man, it's no big deal whatsoever. My friends used to lend me change if I didn't have enough for a soda, and I would do the same for them. This is really no different, except now my friend is in another country, and the soda machine that's being a bitch is called Life, and sometimes the flavors they release are kind of shitty, and I totally get wanting a do over for your money back. :D

(I totally get what you feel re: gifts, because that was my parents to a TEE, so don't feel bad. I get you.)

Although I would say don't worry about paying me back, I don't want to make it seem like this is charity, it's just a friend helping a friend out. I'm cool with whatever you're comfortable with, to be honest.

But yeah, PM me and I'll lend you some money to get a different flavor of life. :D

Re: Money Woes

[lynx]

Don't worry, I still saw it. Maybe it doesn't let you send a PM because I hadn't granted you access? I fail at DW :'D Anyway, granting/subscribing now.

As I said to khronos_keeper, I'm really moved by the offer, Stella. You wouldn't believe how much I appreciate it, I'm all keysmashing here. I was venting, and would have never imagined you both would be so kind to me <3 I'm terribly shy at accepting gifts (or asking for lent stuff); but maybe we could work something out because... well, I kinda need it ^^;;; I'd just like to do something nice for you as well, as a token of gratitude. Tell me if there's anything you'd like, ok?

Re: Money Woes

[(Anonymous)]

Super late to the party, but I'd alse like to donate if you set up a paypal account or something. We've all been there. :)