case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-12-08 03:47 pm

[ SECRET POST #2532 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2532 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.



__________________________________________________


11.


__________________________________________________



12.







Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 065 secrets from Secret Submission Post #362.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
loracarol: (spg)

Re: Bad Advice

[personal profile] loracarol 2013-12-08 09:20 pm (UTC)(link)
- they only tease you because they like you (p. sure there's a different between "teasing you" and "bullying you to tears every day)

- they're just jealous (that doesn't actually help)

- no one can make you feel inferior without your consent (because feelings are that easy to deal with when you're a child)

Re: Bad Advice

(Anonymous) 2013-12-08 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Even if it is "because they like you", what a shitty thing to walk away with. There was once instance in my life where this was kind of true, but we purposely drove one another crazy because we "liked" each other, and even then it went too far and we stopped being friends. Which is a shame, really.

they're just jealous

That did help me once, but it was something I figured out on my own, and only in reference to a specific person who didn't tease me so much as pointedly snub me. I was in a class with her that I did well in, and I realized given the fact that I was called on every time I raised my hand, yeah, she probably did hate my guts.

loracarol: (spg)

Re: Bad Advice

[personal profile] loracarol 2013-12-08 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I had the same thing happen. :/

I mean, I can deal with it in fiction, as long as (1) an adult steps in when things go too far (2) there are moments of genuine niceness/good feelings among the characters (3) the teasing is meant in jest, and it is genuinely taken in jest by the person/people on the receiving end.

In real life, though, I don't think it works, because rl kids don't have adult authors that know what's "too far" or not. If that makes any sense. |D

And I'm glad that that worked out for you! It didn't for me, but you said that you discovered it on your own, and I think that is an important distinction. :)

Re: Bad Advice

(Anonymous) 2013-12-09 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, and I mean, it didn't even solve everything, but I certainly realized I wasn't the only one feeling down about stuff.
loracarol: (spg)

Re: Bad Advice

[personal profile] loracarol 2013-12-09 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
That makes sense.

Re: Bad Advice

[personal profile] herpymcderp 2013-12-09 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
But that last one is actually fucking great advice. Learning to see your tormentors as pathetic or inferior to you is one of the most effective ways to train people to resist interrogation.

And hell, it's worked for me countless times.
cassandraoftroy: Chiana from Farscape, an alien with grayscale skin and hair (Default)

Re: Bad Advice

[personal profile] cassandraoftroy 2013-12-09 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
That's framing it very differently, though. That's not, "no one can make you feel bad unless you let them" -- it's, "these people are worthless losers and nothing they say or do matters." The latter is effective; the former is just victim-blaming.
loracarol: (spg)

Re: Bad Advice

[personal profile] loracarol 2013-12-09 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
See, framed like that, it does sound kind of cool/useful.

But the other way, it just felt like it was always my fault for feeling bad, and if I was just a better person/stronger, I wouldn't be bullied/I wouldn't let it get to me.

Re: Bad Advice

[personal profile] herpymcderp 2013-12-09 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
Then whoever said that to you was doin' it wrong. That's what that particular quote is supposed to mean, honestly.

Taking it out of context and throwing it at you is the bad part of that bad advice.
loracarol: (spg)

Re: Bad Advice

[personal profile] loracarol 2013-12-09 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
I'll keep that in mind. :)