[ SECRET POST #2583 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2583 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 043 secrets from Secret Submission Post #369.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. http://i.imgur.com/yB6yKXU.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

Fandom is not a job. You're not required to stay if you don't want to.

[dancing_clown]

This.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think obligation is what makes them stay. I'd say that it's more that they don't want to lose the attention/admiration.

[dancing_clown]

Ah, there's nothing like making yourself a martyr.

[iceyred]

You are not obligated to stay in fandom. You are not so important that it would collapse without you.

[forgottenjester]

Do what you want, not what other people want.

How about this? Say you're taking a break and then do. At least a week. Preferably a month. When you come back see how you feel. Are you refreshed? Do you want to come back? Or are you full of dread? Do you not want to return?

Based on how you feel at that time you should know if you should continue or not.

[(Anonymous)]

If you are who I think you are, your contribution to fandom is harshing people's squee and perpetuating the stereotype of feminists as humorless killjoys.

[(Anonymous)]

Not the OP here. What fandom is it that you're thinking of? Just curious as to what constitutes regressive media that is also fledgling.

[(Anonymous)]

And if people's squee is seeing women humiliated and assaulted, their squee damn well ought to be harshed, asshole.

Oh, woe, I can't have fun, I am totes oppressed.

[(Anonymous)]

If you're in my fandom, your determination to be The Feminist is fucking up everything anyone liked about your contributions to fandom. Buh-bye!

[(Anonymous)]

People who feel they need to stay in a fandom are usually the ones that the rest of the fandom can't wait to get rid of. Take this as a clue that the fandom is unhealthily taking over your life and step the fuck back.

[(Anonymous)]

Someone who decided to declare herself The Feminist of my fandom recently arrived and has been acting like a humorless jerk, stirring shit about other fans who dislike certain female characters (or even like them but once reblogged something that wasn't positive about them), and generally being a nuisance. If you have something valuable to contribute, that's great, but if you're just going to be an ass and try to ruin everyone else's fun because NO ONE will ever be as "progressive" as you, that's not being a feminist. That's being an ass.

[feotakahari]

I'm seeing a lot of vehemence against feminists in this thread, and it's kind of surprising. I mean, one of the crazy everything-is-sexist posters used to post on the same forum as me, but she was never as big a problem as the sexist poster or the racist poster, and I wound up on her side half the time. Have other folks had much more negative experiences with the type?

(I'm here assuming that folks are talking about feminist posters who pick arguments with sexist posters, not just feminist posters who take apart sexism in canon and write more female-friendly fanon. If you're responding that negatively to the latter, you're a jerk.)

[sarillia]

I'm not surprised because I've seen this a lot in this comm but I am sad that people react this way to someone saying they're a feminist, both when the reaction is fair and when it's not fair.

[(Anonymous)]

In my fandom (on tumblr at least) the vast majority of the fans happily support the female characters and cast because they are typically amazing. However, we DO discuss instances of crappy writing (one woman is fridged; two others are pit against each other to fight over a man for no reason other than ~drama~). Along comes a holier-than-thou fan who digs through people's archives to find anything at all that might be negative about any of the female characters, and then she makes broad, unfounded statements in posts: "So-and-so is misogynist!! I'm so grossed out by her! I used to love her but now I'm disappointed!!" and when people ask her why she says "I can't say why because I don't want to get dogpiled!!" UGH.

It's not that she's a feminist that bothers me, because I consider myself one too. It's that she's using the mask of feminism to stir shit where shit doesn't need to be stirred.

[(Anonymous)]

I am a feminist myself, but the OP sounds shady. If she feels like she has to be the standard bearer of feminism in her fandom, then I'm assuming she's the type who's constantly embroiled in wank.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, as the OP, I'm sitting back being a bit stunned, actually.

My feminist analysis is not really harshing anybody's buzz, unless you're a huge misogynist. I got the label because I've been about talking about the women in the canon a lot, sticking up for them, analysing their storylines, speculating about their storylines, desperately hoping their storylines get better or get more time on the show. I also speak against some people's hatred of young female fans for being fangirls or for "not being true fans", ridiculous shit like that. I'm about celebrating good stuff as much as critiquing the bad stuff, but this thread makes it sound like no feminists ever love anything, which just isn't true, like what the fuck.

[(Anonymous)]

OP, why don't you disappear as yourself, make yourself a sockpuppet account and start posting to your fandom just for fun? Put aside the standard for a bit and see if you can recapture what you used to enjoy about it?

If there's any genuine feminist feeling it'll manifest in your "absence" and in the meantime maybe you can rediscover some enjoyment. (It's amazing how other people will fill a role once they perceive it's been vacated...)

If on the other hand no one steps up to the plate, you'll know you're really alone and you can decide whether it's really too dickish an environment to remain in.

But I advocate taking a leave of absence in any case, both for your own peace of mind and to see how things stand when you aren't trying to steer them.

[(Anonymous)]

Yep, as a Feminist myself, this ^^

[(Anonymous)]

That's a great and really helpful suggestion.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks. I think it's more a question of frequency, really - I know my friends in this fandom all care about this stuff, but I'm usually the one bringing different things into conversations. I wonder if they would do it in my absence. Worth thinking about, thanks for the suggestion.

[(Anonymous)]

What a terrible MRA thread this has become.

I am disappoint F!S

[(Anonymous)]

Good to know that SJWs get tired eventually.

[(Anonymous)]

This thread is... weird.

Since there's nothing in your secret about seeking out and scolding other people for being unfeminist or making a habit of starting wank or being angry and unreasonable all the time or w/e, I'm gonna assume you're a nice person. With that in mind: take a break. Try just not doing anything with a particularly feminist bent for a day, or a week, or a month, whatever. Just sit back and enjoy some stuff without writing any meta, or answering asks about feminist topics, or whatever your contribution is. This doesn't have to be your responsibility, so put it aside for a bit. You'll probably feel better.

Of course, if you are seeking out people to yell at, or starting wank all the time or whatnot, ignore the "temporary" part and just stop that, cuz it's not nice and it won't help your cause.