case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2014-03-24 06:51 pm

[ SECRET POST #2638 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2638 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 055 secrets from Secret Submission Post #377.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-24 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Either we say objectifying is bad for everyone, or we say it is bad for no one. You can't cherry pick what you want.

Also, so if something just hurts someone's feeling it isn't bad? I'll remember that.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-24 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, do remember it, Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them. If you can't see how one is worse than the other, you need to hand in your "humanity" card right now.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
Look, the real world does not exist on Tumblr's definition of the world. Most women don't go around terrified all the fucking time.

And what the fuck does a TV show/movie/whatever objectifying a character have to do with that? You think a murderer is going to watch a show that doesn't objectify women and be like, "Well...I WAS going to murder some women tonight. Instead, I'll just go take a soothing shower."

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
plenty of women are sure as fuck uncomfortable around groups of men they're unfamiliar with for safety reasons

12 year old girls get harassed in the street by grown ass men

you don't have to be ~terrified all the fucking time~ to acknowledge that there is a problem

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
This.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 12:16 am (UTC)(link)
[i]Most women don't go around terrified all the fucking time.[/i]]

This - and more importantly, men don't spend their entire lives plotting rape and murder.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
rape and murder aren't always plotted or planned, which honestly makes it all the scarier. regardless, that men raping women is so common gives many women plenty of reason to be wary of men, and i hope nobody here is implying that's ridiculous - or rare, because it is neither of those things.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 12:31 am (UTC)(link)
If that the case, men should be terrified about going out in public too. They are the biggest victims of murder AND violent crime.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
Keep trying, MRA shitstain. When a man is killed, people aren't told, "He was asking for it by being there." When a woman is raped, the first thing asked is, "How much did you have to drink?" "What were you wearing?" "Are you sure you're not just regretting having sex with him?"

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(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 01:42 am (UTC)(link)
yeah, a lot of men are - black men, hispanic men, middle eastern men, gay men, trans men, et cetera.

women are victims of more rape than any other gender group, and rightfully many of them are wary of the biggest perpetrators of violent crime (men)

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 01:49 am (UTC)(link)
see here's the thing

the fact that men don't feel threatened when walking alone down a street at night when they experience what you claim, while many women do, is exactly the problem.

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(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 12:34 am (UTC)(link)
And rape culture doesn't exist.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
lol try again

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
RAINN says it doesn't. You know, RAINN that website people always quote for rape statistics and such?

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(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
Speak for yourself.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
This - and more importantly, men don't spend their entire lives plotting rape and murder.

No, they don't spend their lives planning it, but somehow it seems to happen a fucking lot of the time. For something as simple as wanting to leave a guy, he can decide she doesn't get to live, or laughing at the size of his dick, or preferring someone else's dick to his, these are offenses for a fucking lot of men that seem to make murder and rape totally okay "in the heat of the moment". "She drank too much", "she wouldn't stop doing drugs", "she was passed out and my friends were laughing at me for not doing it", "her boyfriend was in our house holding my kid"....these are real excuses vomited up by these worms at the police station afterwards when their rage dies down. It happens in the USA and everywhere in the world. So no, maybe they don't plan it, but it seems to happen all the fucking same.

If I turn a corner on a street or go into a party I've been invited to and see strange men standing in groups, is it right that my first thought is generally whether I should 'risk' it or just leave? It's not right. Especially since I'm certain that's not a man's reaction when he's faced with groups of women he's never met before.

I work with a giant of a 27 year old man. He lives in a vastly different world than I do. When he walks down a street at night, he never looks over his shoulder. When he walks to his car in a deserted parking lot, he's never nervous. He walks into parties without ever worrying about who's there or whether he should have come with someone.

Men can be raped and assaulted, absolutely, but it's NOT the same as it is for women.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
Agreed with this. If you're a grown woman, you will have experienced fear of sexual assault being committed against you, even if it was just the vaguest of worries. Most men will never go through that. Theirs is a confidence you can't gain.

New anon speaking

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 05:22 am (UTC)(link)
I am a grown woman and I have experienced that fear, but it was only that. I don't have a car, so over the years I've trusted men to drive me places occasionally. Strangers, acquaintances and coworkers, bosses: men who had nothing to lose by taking advantage of me. I was afraid sometimes, but none of them ever did anything. Now I can't help but be less afraid because just as other women's experience has trained them to be, my experience has trained me not to be. I can't believe this is as rare as everyone I know says it is. I'm completely average. I'm not special enough to have some magical invisible assault repellent.

Re: New anon speaking

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(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
Men are more likely to be murdered AND be violently assaulted, so...yeah.

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sa as above

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
your conclusive jump is a logical fallacy. firstly, i acknowledged already that objectification isn't okay.

however, there are societal implications behind objectification that differ between the two primary genders - things like who has institutional privilege, for instance, which does in fact matter in issues like this because it influences/changes how objectification affects men and how it affects women. again, the consequences of objectifying men are few, whereas they increase when you objectify women.

objectification is a pretty gross thing, but it's also a common thing, and i think it's inevitable that it happens every now and then. keeping it rare is a good way to minimise its harm. but the harm in objectifying men is already low, and objectifying women just reinforces harmful societal norms that keep women below men, on average.

as for your second part: sometimes hurt feelings are also inevitable, especially if the people you are "hurting" are giant pissbabies about the issue. you can't coddle everybody. in any case, hurt feelings do not stand up to systematic, continuous, harmful oppression.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 03:34 am (UTC)(link)
Of course it's bad for everyone. But it's worse for women. When men get objectified they either preen or feel uncomfortable. The potential consequences are pretty light. When women get objectified the potential consequences are rape and murder. Not the same.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
I feel like all feminist discussions go back to "but it's worse for women!"

It'd be nice if everyone just accepted both groups have different areas that suck for them instead and focused on improving them, even if the suck is skewed more towards women.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
Bullshit. That's the first step to undermining and dismissing the greater damage caused to women by institutionalized sexism. It lets people pretend that women "don't really have it that bad! Their suffering is just like the suffering of men!"

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
Did I say that the suffering was the same? No, I specifically stated that both have different areas that suck for both and that woman have more suck (aka institutionalized sexism.)

Please read before you comment next time.

(Anonymous) 2014-03-25 06:48 am (UTC)(link)
this isn't an issue that needs to be treated equally though, and the differences matter. it IS worse for women, and that IS relevant in closing the gap.