[ SECRET POST #2686 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2686 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 059 secrets from Secret Submission Post #384.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

09. http://i.imgur.com/U3G0UlY.png

[(Anonymous)]

"I've had real sex and now I can't enjoy porn!" cried nobody, ever. "My beautiful illusions, they have been torn from me! I now know that butts do, in fact, contain poop! And some of the anuses of people of all genders are, in fact, hairy! My world, she crumbles!"

"But nobody, ever," said the rest of the world, concerned. "Why on earth did you think that fantasy porn was exactly like the real thing?"

"I have been naive and a fool," declared nobody, ever, bitterly, and left the world of slash with a heartbroken sigh, never to return.

[kaijinscendre]

Are you telling me...that in the real world people don't automatically become sex gods during their first time? I thought it was like when vampires on Buffy automatically learn kungfu. WAIT! IS THAT NOT TRUE EITHER?

[queerwolf]

ilu

[(Anonymous)]

This thread is gold lol

[fingalsanteater]

Thank you for this. <3

[souljelly]

Haha A+

[(Anonymous)]

I love this thread so much. <3

[(Anonymous)]

well two questions i guess

a) are you a dude

b) why did you expect porn to be an accurate depiction of sex

[(Anonymous)]

... why? Pretty much everyone enjoys things in porn that they don't enjoy irl, and the other way around. Personally I find descriptions of vaginal sex dull as fuck, but I love doing it. And I love reading about blowjobs even though I don't particularly enjoy blowing guys.

[(Anonymous)]

I knew what I was getting into and knew it probably wouldn't be comfortable the first few times. But even with a loving, experienced, and patient partner, it never got close to feeling neutral, let alone pleasant. I know other people make it work quite happily, but it went out poorly enough for me that the thought of it is an instant turn off.

Real question

[(Anonymous)]

Do you only enjoy porn of acts that you yourself do/find pleasurable irl? Because gurl let me tell you a thing, I would be horrified if people actually tried some of the stuff on me irl that I find hot in porn/fic.

Though I suppose if you meant that you had a really awful time and now cannot unassociate the two....makes a little more sense that way I suppose.

[elaminator]

Wow, if I were in your shoes I would be miserable because a huge chunk of the porn I read includes anal. Sad day, man.

(Though I don't really get why you personally have to enjoy the act to read about others doing it, but... Different strokes. Different strokes is funny in this context.

[(Anonymous)]

For me it's been the opposite. Like I, no pun intended, connect more with it in a way. (Save for the more outlandish versions in fics.) And I'm not even a guy.

[fingalsanteater]

Same here.

[(Anonymous)]

But nobody likes anal the first time. I thought that was a universal truth. It's so hard to get right and you have to be relaxed.

Give it a few years and try it again. It's one of those things that's a lot more enjoyable with experience.

[nightscale]

Tbh het sex is overblown in fanfic too. If the couple are both virgins they somehow get it perfect the first time with no fumbling or awkward moments, and the girl will always come three times from penetration alone.

Fictional porn is always unrealistic.

[kallanda_lee]

Well, I'm sorry to hear that. With me, it was sort of the opposite. I went: yup, I'm definitely into that. That explains lot of the fic I read.

But you know, sometimes a fantasy is jut a fantasy, and not liking it real life doesn't have to ruin it. Plenty of people enjoy porn, without actually wanting to act out those things in real life.

And THAT being said, it's extremely common for people to have bad first-time anal experiences, because they use too little lube, or try to go too fast, or just tense up because they're nervous, or any myriad of other reasons.
If it's something that turns you on, but it felt not-so-great physically, it might just be worth to try it again at a later point.

[darkmanifest]

Wait, aren't there also dicks in 99% slash? Is dick action ruined for you, too? Because I only read slash for the dick action.

[(Anonymous)]

Is your sex female, OP? That probably explains a lot of it. (And not that biological females can't enjoy anal, they're likely getting off more on the actual act of anal sex than what the anal sex does to their body, if that makes sense.)

Guys have that prostate gland that when stimulated, can bring them to orgasm. Girls do not. So it makes sense that guys tend to get more enjoyment out of the act. But just because guys have a prostate gland, doesn't mean that all guys want something up the butt. It's not a magical button that makes guys instantly enjoy what's being done to them. (I really, really hate it in fic when a guy is hesitant to have anal or outright doesn't want to and just as soon as his prostate gland is struck, he can't get enough. Just, ugh. No. It doesn't work like that.) Some guys love anal, some guys don't. Just as some girls love anal and some girls don't.

I'm just glad that my husband doesn't have any desire to do it up my pooper, because I don't want him to either. I can just stay blissfully ignorant and enjoy my slash fic without any real life experience destroying that illusion.

I am so getting judged for this

[(Anonymous)]

But I absolutely despise even the idea of anal sex, to the point where some of my friends (although, weirdly enough, my gay male friends seem to agree with me the most, for some reason) think I'm homophobic (even though I've dated women).

And it's stupid, because I know exactly why, and I know not everyone has anal sex the way my ex did, but I can't help it. Whenever I see those two words, I picture the moment I walked in on one of my former boyfriends having sex with a corpse.

Okay, fuck it, this is going anon.

SEMI RELEVANT PICTURE

[insanenoodlyguy]

Thank you 4chan

CAN I PUT THIS ON A T-SHIRT

[raspberryrain]

This is now one of my favorite f!s macros ever. Leaving aside the virtues of anal penetration, it's just so beautifully wry.

[(Anonymous)]

Well your first mistake was using KY for anal sex. Get a better lube.

[(Anonymous)]

I prefer m/m slash without anal. I'm not horrified by the idea of anal, or anything, I just find other actions/situations sexier and more interesting.

It also avoids the whole "top/bottom" question. I know that IRL, top doesn't really equal "more assertive" and bottom doesn't really equal "more passive/feminine", but it's sometimes portrayed that way in fic, and I don't care for it. I don't like any type of D/s dynamic. I like all of the action in a scene to be mutual: whatever A does to B, B also does to A. I just find it sexier and more believable, that way.
And yes, I think everyone has actions/scenarios they enjoy in porny fic that they wouldn't enjoy IRL. That's why it's pure fantasy.
If a well-written sex scene includes anal, I'm totally fine with it, but I'm kind of irked by this notion that anything else is just foreplay.