[ SECRET POST #2823 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2823 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #403.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[saku]

an asexual romance would naturally have romance in it, and friendships generally don't. that's why they're friendships and not romantic relationships (though you can have both). aces can fall in love without feeling sexual desire.

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

DA

How do they express that love, then, if there's no sexual desire?

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

The same way sexual people express love when they're not having sex.

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Kissing, touching, hugging?

I'm genuinely curious about this. Where is the demarcation line between "expressing love" and "being sexual"?

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

BY TELLING THEM YOU LOVE THEM

obviously ??? I mean - if I love someone then I tell them I love them and I tell them WHY and HOW and what that means to me and the significance that holds and just how much I value them and their presence

how do you ONLY express you love someone sexually thats seriously what I don't get at all

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

DA but I also tell my friends that I love them - as friends.

I think the central question here really is : what is fundamentally distinguishes romantic love from other kinds of love?

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

The question wasn't 'do I tell my friends that I love them', it was 'how do you express your love'. And the answer to that is 'with words'.

Of course romantic love is different from friendship love or familial love or mentor-mentee love or whatever, but if people are going to ask silly things that imply SEXUALLY IS THE ONLY WAY TO SHOW LOVE and just discount everything else then I'm going to give an equally trite answer.

And anyway what romantic love or other kinds of love mean to various people as well as how they choose to express that differs from person to person. In my case - and mine alone - I'd say that romantic love comes on top of friendship, and cannot be separated entirely out.

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

Are you an alien?

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

I am!

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

Cool. I'm into aliens...asexually.

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

Are you an asshole?

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

In some instances.

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

When people get too old to have sex, are they no longer in love? When grow old together, do they stop caring because their sex drives no longer function? They were in love once, but now 80 year old grandma and grandpa who have been married 60 years and still take walks together, hold hands, and say they're the light of each other's lives... are just friends?

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

Yes.

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

You sound very young.

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[chardmonster]

What the heck makes you think eighty year olds don't have sex drives?

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

What the heck makes you think I said all eighty year olds stop having sex drives? It was an example.

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

They do, but some can't have sex anymore for one reason or another. Also, some do lose interest in sex.

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

Why are implying that a couple who've been together for 60+ years, are not particularly interested in sex, are not 'in love' with each other as they once were, but still consider each other their best friend and the most important person in their life ave a lesser love for each other than a similar couple who are still sexually interested in each other?

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

To me it seems like they're saying the exact opposite of that? YOU'RE the one saying they can't be in love if they're not interested in sex.

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

I personally don't think it is any less to have a best friend than a romantic partner. And I don't like the phrase "in love", because it seems to imply that a loving friendship is inferior to a romantic one. I certainly would call the couple that hasn't had sexual interest in one another for over a decade "in love" for that reason, if they are still committed, but I don't personally think they are "romantically in love" anymore. They are partners, loving best friends, and so forth, but they aren't romantic. And that's okay.

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[saku]

through the expression of romantic feelings? you don't think sex is love, do you?

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

To me (and dare I say, to most people), "romantic feelings" means by definition, emotional AND sexual interest. No one is saying sex is love (though it can be!), and I think most people's image of "romance" is something more personal and tender than simple sexual arousal. But the phrase "romantic feelings" absolutely is founded upon, to probably 99.999% of the population, sexual interest. I get that you're trying to separate being emotionally intimate with someone from actual sexuality, but to me that just isn't what romance means. I'm not trying to say you can't or shouldn't describe your relationships in whatever way you want, but just pointing out why the language is jarring to me.

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[saku]

i can guarantee you most people don't think that way, and your way of thinking is flawed. romance does not inherently include sex, even if they both are often present in a relationship.

there is a reason why some romantically involved people aren't sexual, and why many sexually involved people aren't romantic with each other. the two concepts are separate and merely collide sometimes in relationships where people love each other and also find each other sexually attractive.

your definition of romance is outdated and often incorrect.

Re: What's the difference between asexual romance and really close friendship?

[(Anonymous)]

You can guarantee that most people don't consider romance to be sexual? Really? I am very curious about how you can guarantee this, because I've never met anyone outside Internet asexuals and SJWs that would claim this.

And you're basically saying "romance and sexuality are two completely different concepts because I say so" without actually providing any explanation. I would say, friendship and sexuality are different concepts that can collide. But you're insisting on the word romance, which I maintain to the vast, vast majority of people must include, by definition, some notion of sexuality.

Maybe your definition of romance is what's incorrect?