fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2976 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2976 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Homestuck]

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[NCIS: Los Angeles/Hawaii Five-0]

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[Left Shark (Katy Perry? Super Bowl?) and Bad-Dragon .com]

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[hindsight]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 016 secrets from Secret Submission Post #425.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Not trying to take the piss but what's the difference? Do you mean like non-sexual love?

I think they mean being in a romantic relationship with a woman, but without any sex?

So... that would be a close platonic friendship.

So...you are equating a romantic relationship without sex as only platonic? WOW.

Yes, it's a persistent troll that's come up before. Please don't feed it

Platonic is the opposite of sexual. Not the opposite of romantic. Romance is a byproduct of sexuality and romantic is the adjective for that byproduct. Sorry if snowflakes don't like being told they're snowflakes.

Yawn

Nope.

What an insightful reply.

(no subject)

diet_poison - 2015-02-27 16:18 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-27 19:02 (UTC) - Expand

diet_poison - 2015-03-02 03:03 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-27 19:05 (UTC) - Expand

diet_poison - 2015-03-02 03:04 (UTC) - Expand

this. Romance requires sexual attraction, or I don't see how it's romance.

Nice circular logic, there.

Maybe there's attraction, but no sex enacted.

um, yes

A romantic relationship implies some level of physical attraction. That doesn't necessarily translate to having sex, because there are plenty of people who are in romantic relationships but either can't or don't want to have sex for whatever reason. For example, my friend is asexual and in a relationship. She and her girlfriend don't have sex, but she still feels attraction towards her girlfriend and they express it in other physical ways.

Feeling strongly for someone but not having any sort of physical attraction to them is just a close friendship. Attraction is how we define the difference between a platonic relationship and a romantic one.

A romantic relationship implies some level of physical attraction.

Bullshit. There's no one set "official" definition of what romance is (other than a loop with romantic, where they just circle back to each other without either giving an actual definition), and the only words I can find associated with it are love and affection, neither of which necessarily implies sexual attraction. People always seem to have a difficult time pinpointing exactly what it is, just that they know it when they feel it, and when people DO come up with some sort of definition, they almost never agree with each other.

That doesn't necessarily translate to having sex, because there are plenty of people who are in romantic relationships but either can't or don't want to have sex for whatever reason. For example, my friend is asexual and in a relationship. She and her girlfriend don't have sex, but she still feels attraction towards her girlfriend and they express it in other physical ways.

People who "can't or don't want to have sex for whatever reason" aren't necessarily asexual. "Does not experience sexual attraction" is the DEFINITION of asexual. If someone DOES experience sexual attraction but doesn't want to have sex for some other reason, they're not asexual, they're celibate.

Feeling strongly for someone but not having any sort of physical attraction to them is just a close friendship. Attraction is how we define the difference between a platonic relationship and a romantic one.

"Physical attraction" is a pretty vague term and just "attraction" could be anything, but you can be attracted to someone's looks and it not be sexual at all. Aesthetic attraction is a thing...you can think someone is nice to look at but not be sexually attracted to them, the same way you can think a painting is nice to look at but not be sexually attracted to it. Or, the same way a straight person can acknowledge someone of the same sex is good-looking but not be sexually attracted to them. So I'm not sure what you're referring to with "attraction is how we define the difference between a platonic relationship and a romantic one" since you didn't specify what type of attraction you're talking about.

Either way, romance does not have to include sexual attraction for everybody. Obviously for you it does, and that's totally valid, but you can't just say THIS IS HOW IT IS when your experience doesn't apply to everybody.

you do realize that it's possible to be physically attracted to someone without being sexually attracted to them, right? that's the case for a lot of people who are asexual. they can find someone attractive and want to engage in physically intimate activities like kissing, touching and cuddling, they just don't have a sexual desire or want to engage in sex. their attraction is not sexual, but there is still attraction there.

Yep, this, 100%.

Except not.

Tumblr calls best friends ~~~queerplatonic~~~ now, get with the program.

Isn't qp cuddling and kissing but no sex?
More than what friends usually do but not lovers?

Yeah, my understanding is it's somewhere between friendship and romance. People seem to make fun of it/get pissed off when it's mentioned, but I do think it's a valid thing because it's different from both friendship and romance (at least as I understand it) but it could use a different name, since I think that's mostly the problem people have with it (calling it "queer" anything isn't exactly appropriate for something that can be between opposite sex people). I think people that use the term claim the queer is for the original meaning, like "weird/unusual" rather than LGBT-related, but I can definitely see why it would bother people.

well, I'd define it as the gross appropriation of the word queer, personally.

Also, for what it's worth, I cuddle and kiss several of my close friends. The cuddling is definitely platonic, and the kisses friendly. That doesn't make it queer. (though I am queer, and actual real queer, not the tumblr kind)

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-27 22:16 (UTC) - Expand

I cuddle and kiss my best friends. Many, usually non-Anglos, do.

You can be asexual and have a romantic relationship.
Sex is not what defines a romance.