fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3219 ]

[ SECRET POST #3219 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3219 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[Suicide Squad]

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02.

[Dragonlance Legends]

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03.

[Takehiko Inoue's "Real"]

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04.

[Avatar the Last Airbender/Legend of Korra]

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05.

[Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis]

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06.

[The Twelve Kingdoms]

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07.

[Dramatical Murder]

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08.

[Hemlock Grove, Bill Skarsgard]

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09.

[Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D]

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10.

[Psycho]

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11.

[Outlander series, Dougal/Claire]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #460.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Purely hypothetically, let's say a person strongly suspects they're a horrible person and being around them is deeply unpleasant for everyone. Hypothetically, let's say this person has done everything that can conceivably be done in order to improve themselves - therapy, meds, soul-searching, meditation, the works - and despite this, they don't manage to make themselves a less unpleasant person to be around.

At which point does suicide become a reasonable way to deal with this problem?

Hypothetically.

never.

idk man, I think history would have looked a lot better if some of history's greatest monsters had had some self-awareness and killed themselves.

oh, okay, so this isn't in fact a serious discussion about suicide, but yet another wank-thread revolving around a strawman hypothetical situation

you know, i thought i was sick of the "SJ topic of the week" wank threads but using suicide as your jumping off point for trolling is pretty damn low

GFY

Re: suicide tw

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-28 00:28 (UTC) - Expand

Re: suicide tw

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-28 00:34 (UTC) - Expand

Re: suicide tw

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-28 00:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: suicide tw

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-28 00:52 (UTC) - Expand

If they had self-awareness, they wouldn't have become history's greatest monsters.

Re: suicide tw

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-28 00:34 (UTC) - Expand

Suicide is never reasonable. Someone with suicidal tendancies like that is never capable of being reasonable about their own worth, so never. Suicide by its very nature is unreasonable. Assisted suicide can be reasonable, but you need a reasonable person to make the decision for you.

So it's just a matter of not being to judge yourself objectively and not a matter of death not being a solution.

Death is a pretty damn permanent "solution" to something that may or may not be a problem.

Yeah, kinda. and no. Death is just death. Its not a solution, it's just something that is. If death looks like a solution I would suspect this is the product of a mind not judging the world accurately. That's the problem with depression, it makes things look so wonky. It robs you of your ability to be reasonable about yourself and your position. it blinds you to anything of value leaving things without value (like death) seem like the only way. If you have depression it's like trying to drive in the pissing rain without wipers. You can't trust your ability to perceive anything in the road. When people say "Get help" to depressed people, depressed people hear only a platitude or a cliche or something meaningless like that. What they don't hear is the very literal meaning behind those words "You can't trust yourself, find someone else to trust and have them help you through the pitfalls you can't even see"

So yes and no. Death can be used as a solution I suppose, but if it's your own death, you can't ever be in an objective enough place to be able to decide if it is the correct solution for you, this is doubly so when you are depressed but it's by no means exclusive to depressed people.

Don't do it.

How do you know you're a horrible person? Why are you assuming that your perception of yourself is objective and 100% logical?

If you're suicidal, odds are your perception of yourself is already skewed in a negative direction.

I'm not going to kill myself. I promised someone I wouldn't. But it'd be nice to have a logical reason to not kill myself other than 'I made a promise', hence thread.

But it's cool, my life is not in danger.

Challenge your thinking. Depression lies to us and our minds rarely tell us the truth. Unfortunately, we're not Spock, and we can rarely look 100% objectively at ourselves.

You're not Hitler. Such comparisons are exaggerated.

Re: suicide tw

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-28 00:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: suicide tw

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-28 00:43 (UTC) - Expand

Re: suicide tw

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-28 00:54 (UTC) - Expand

To be fair, I think that is a logical reason.

But - and you may have thought this already but it's worth reiterating - if someone made you promise not to kill yourself, then obviously at least one person values you being alive. You are not just a horrible scourge to everyone around you.

Also...do you mind if I ask how old you are?

Hypothetically yes but the person themselves is the worst judge of that, and in the throes of depression is not going to have thought of everything conceivable that they could do, nor are they going to have a trustworthy judgment of their own self-worth.

So in practice, as none of us are omniscient and omnipotent, no.

Okay, so how does someone go about finding an honest, non-malicious person willing to make an assessment?

Re: suicide tw

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-28 00:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: suicide tw

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-28 04:49 (UTC) - Expand

Hypothetically I do not believe that person is a horrible person.

Because if the were horrible they wouldn't have tried pretty much everything to better themselves.

does it matter though? It doesn't matter how much I try to better myself. The thing is that I don't have the ability to do it. Intentions don't matter. Actions do. Is a domestic abuser less of an abuser just because they try very hard not to be one when they're still hurting their family?

Re: suicide tw

diet_poison - 2015-10-28 00:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: suicide tw

kallanda_lee - 2015-10-28 00:44 (UTC) - Expand

I'm sorry, anon. There is no one alive who can be absolutely certain they are a horrible person to be around for everyone in their lives. That person would have to by psychic, and psychics do not exist.

It's common to have an exaggerated/heightened conception of personal flaws when one is depressed. Chances are, that flaw that seems so glaring to a depressed person isn't even something other people notice.

Continue to try therapy, but concentrate more on changing your opinion of yourself, rather than trying to change the way you behave.

The problem is, I don't think you can ever actually get to the level of certainty required to justify that course of action

I've been consdering writing this exact post here, anon...wow. You have my deepest sympathies, but I don't know the answer either. :(

It's not. Ever.

I was in that exact same position in May-June 2014. In fact, I posted here about it.

The reason it's not ever a reasonable choice is because you can't undo it.

Therapy and meds are definitely a crapshoot, I'll give you that. You have to find a medication and dosage that works, and a therapist who listens to you and isn't an asshole. But just because you tried it once doesn't mean it's never going to work for you. It means you may not have found the right therapist or the right drug yet.

But look at it this way: suicide can never not be an option. As long as you're not dead, it's always there. It's not like you have a small window of opportunity in which to kill yourself or you'll never have that chance again.

But once you take that option, nothing else will be.

You are your own worst judge and I highly doubt you're so horrible and unpleasant to be around that it is better off that you're dead. The chances of you filling that criteria - now and for the rest of your life are so minuscule I can't even think of a small enough fraction.

You might feel that way, but feelings rarely behave rationally.

How about you go do something simple like a shower or YouTube cat videos? Redirect your thoughts as much as you can and try to build that into a habit

Assuming institutions that actually function, institutionalization seems like the final step. You can survive there without being a danger to yourself or others.

(Sadly, Americans who're unstable and violent tend to wind up in the prison system. I saw an interview once with one who was going to be released soon, and he didn't want to be let out, because he knew he'd hurt someone again.)

I'm assuming your life expectancy is longer than the time you tried to be less "deeply unpleasant".

Yes, you have the choice to kill to yourself. But as long as you see it as an option, it'll always seem like the easier way out- even though it isn't, because suicide attempts are really painful and deeply disturbing not only for those around you, but also yourself. The survival rate is rather high. Your body wants you to survive, even though it's been asshole so far, it'll fight and it'll make it deeply unpleasant.

You don't need to decide against killing yourself right here and now. But you should see it as a choice with a lot responsibility and dignity behind it. One you need to make to get better, even if it's a tentative choice. As long as suicide seems like an option your journey of self improvement (and healing) will be more difficult.
I hope you keep your promise, anon.

A basic, black-and-white answer? There really isn't one, besides never, but perhaps this will help:

Smile at someone. A neighbour, someone you pass in the street, a store clerk, anyone. Even if you feel like shit and just want to hide, do your best to smile at someone. See that? You just made their day a little brighter. Maybe not by much, but a little. Death would make that not an option. They might not even remember by the time they get home, but maybe they're having a shitty day too and that helped. If you were dead, that wouldn't be an option. That little bit of happiness would never exist. Suicide would end that chance before it ever became an option.

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