[ SECRET POST #3414 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3414 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[The Property of Hate Webcomic]
















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 036 secrets from Secret Submission Post #488.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[herpymcderp]

Not sure this is strictly true, actually. I've never seen any formal study that indicates that the majority of women interested in d/s stuff are interested in males as doms specifically, rather than any of the other possible iterations.

Until that actually happens, who knows? Maybe women into d/s stuff are actually more likely to be into switch roles or femdom.

[(Anonymous)]

No, don't you know EVERY woman likes to be dominated?? The ones who say they don't, just don't know what they want. They need a strong, dominant man to show them!

[herpymcderp]

Imho it's every man that secretly wants to be dominated. They just need a strong, dominant woman (or man) to show them.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Not sure if you're being sarcastic or not, but I'm willing to bet that the ratio of "dudes who like being dommed" to "dudettes who like being dommed" is a lot closer to even than popular media generally portrays.

[herpymcderp]

Not even a little sarcastic. I'm dead certain that a good 80% of men secretly wish they didn't have to be the one making all the moves and being in control all the time just because society said that's how hetero relationships work.

[sarillia]

I have heard that submissive fantasies are more common than dominant ones among both men and women.

[kallanda_lee]

I would not be surprised.

[ariakas]

This article:

http://www.feministcritics.org/blog/2010/11/20/do-men-or-women-have-fantasies-of-dominance-and-submission-the-results-noh/

Summarizes this study:

Zurbriggen, E. L., & Yost, M. R. (2004). Power desire and pleasure in sexual fantasies. Journal of Sex Research, 41, 288–300.

Which found that while there are slightly more men who prefer to be dominant than women and slightly more women who prefer to be submissive than men, the solid majority of both men and women prefer to be submissive. Moreover, of those men who prefer to be submissive, they have submissive fantasies slightly more often.

Another interesting finding of the study:

7. Women project their preferences onto other women

...Which could accurately describe some posters here hahahah. Men seem to accept that other men have different preferences than they do. We, on the other hand, must be legion or the terrorists win I guess.

[sarillia]

Thanks. I was looking for a good source since I couldn't remember where I'd heard it.

[(Anonymous)]

We, on the other hand, must be legion or the terrorists win I guess.

Fandom in an nutshell.

[(Anonymous)]

Wut. No one said that.

[(Anonymous)]

I mean

It's hardly proven, but I think it's really, really unlikely

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's worth thinking about why that is, though. Like, are those womens' fantasies influenced by existing media and the culture at large? Before anyone jumps on me, I'm not trying to say maledom is inherently bad or sexist but...I'm just gonna trail off because I can't think of a good way to finish this sentence...

[herpymcderp]

I disagree. You're assuming that kinks occur due to social mores or examples of relationships in media, when actually the majority of sexual preferences are formed in childhood due to early/first experiences with sexuality and sexual desire.

For a lot of people these experiences are completely coincidental and have virtually nothing to do with what's actually occurring or whether dominance or submission are encouraged in relationships. Example A: a young girl happens to see a cartoon where there is a scene of a woman covered in honey, and the scene has erotic undertones. She develops a kink for food play or being covered in fluids later in life.
Example B: A young boy is watching a movie where there's a strange green gas taking over a town. He happens to get an erection during scene where he sees two people trying to escape the gas. He later develops a fart kink.

In both instances, it's a lot easier to imagine something happening to you at a very young age than it is to imagine doing something to someone else.

Now, if you want to talk about media examples influencing how people think they should behave in relationships, that's a totally different. There's a huge divide between sexual behaviour and roles in partnerships.

[(Anonymous)]

No...I wasn't assuming anything...I was just saying we could think about it?

[herpymcderp]

And I'm saying that train of thought assumes there's some big conclusion to come to that has to do with what's socially appropriate. Like... oh, it must be this way because as a society we ___".

There's not really a "because _____" when it comes to what people get turned on by.

[(Anonymous)]

?_?

I literally ended my statement with "I'm just going to trail off" so I don't know why you're even bothering.

[(Anonymous)]

to pretend as if it's just a coincidence and hand waving any effect society and culture has is pretty stupid

[herpymcderp]

No, not really. I think I get what you're trying to say, but in order to be specific about these things, one must use the correct language. Kinks are not behaviours. A kink is simply something specific that turns someone on.

You can basically compare kinks to sexual orientation in that they're (generally) not something someone consciously chooses. Most people don't even remember where their kinks come from because they stem from experiences in very early childhood.

Sexual behaviour, on the other hand, is completely different from preferences and kinks. Someone could theoretically have a kink that they don't even realize because they've been told all their lives that kinks are wrong, disgusting, and deviant. Or... people might adopt certain sexual behaviours because believe that they'll go to hell if they ever have sex outside of marriage/procreation with the wrong person or in the wrong context.

In largely the same way as a person whose real orientation is homosexual adopting heterosexual behaviour due to social pressure, a person with kinks can also adopt a vanilla relationship due to pressure. The kink or preference itself is not determined by society, but the behaviour in relation to the kink/preference is. Just because some behaviours are more acceptable and encouraged doesn't mean that society really has much at all to do with what turns people on. If it did, bestiality and non-consensual sex kinks would be a lot less prevalent, as would other "unacceptable" kinks.

[(Anonymous)]

I think you're missing the point, I'm not talking about approval of an already established kink, ie: a woman with a kink for being dominated looking to media to see if that's an "approved" kink socially.

But culturally, when 9/10 of the narratives young, pre-pubescent girls are seeing in media is men grabbing women in rough kisses, or saving them, or otherwise being in the dominant position over them, more women are going to grow up with those kinks. You used examples of media exposure accidentally triggering a kink, right? Now if a majority of girls are being exposed to only one type of relationship, it's unsurprising they all "coincidentally" develop a kink for being dominated.

Have you ever read the articles about quicksand kink? How many adventure shows during the 70s featured women stuck in quicksand, therefore there's an unusual amount of adult men with kinks for restricted movement/quicksand because they were pre-pubescent or pubescent when those shows and movies were airing? Well the majority of girls grow up seeing dominant men and submissive women, and it's not difficult to put two and two together.