fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3730 ]

[ SECRET POST #3730 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3730 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Movie: 8Uppers, Actor/Singer: Nishikido Ryo]

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03.

[Psych, Shawn/Jules]

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04.

[Gentlemen Prefer Blondes]

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05.

[Yuri on Ice]

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06.

[Irish comedian Ed Byrne and the Great British Bake Off]

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07.

[Pokemon B/W]

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08.

[Overwatch]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #533.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I didn't want to make this just a "worst qualities of people" thread and have it turn into a circle jerk "obviously heinous thing is the worst!" Because it's obvious.

For example, inspired by secret 1, my response is cynicism. I just can't stand it when people are cynical about everything, especially to the poi t where their cynicism becomes a point of precious pride for them.

People who are generally well meaning, but go over the top with it. Especially if they firmly believe they know better than the people they try to do something ~nice~ for and just won't stop, no matter how often and sincerely they get told no.

Yeah. That's what makes it clear that this isn't really about helping people or doing something nice for someone else... it's all about making themselves feel better.

Re: Worst qualities of generally good people

fishnchips - 2017-03-21 23:15 (UTC) - Expand

I have a gluten allergy. There is a lot of people at work who insist on making me something gluten free (when people bring in food), even though I always say "No, thank you." and tell them I only eat food that I prepare myself.

Re: Worst qualities of generally good people

fishnchips - 2017-03-21 23:16 (UTC) - Expand

I'll be honest - I veer dangerously close to this. I don't always value boundaries, and there are times I think I've gone too far. I'm trying to correct it, because it's not a trait I'm proud of.

Re: Worst qualities of generally good people

fishnchips - 2017-03-21 23:24 (UTC) - Expand

Jealousy

People who are obsessively fair/won't even take a side or risk making someone angry. I'm a little bit guilty of this myself, and I know it's a shit trait.

Ooh, yeah, I'm guilty of that too... it really is a shit trait. I chalk it up to my fear of confrontation, but it can kind of just make things worse in a lot of situations.

I don't think "fair" is a fair way to put it. Obsessively neutral or determinedly nonconfrontational maybe.

Fair would be to give each side its due, and if one side is made of idiots and lies it's fair to treat them that way.

Yeah. Taken to extremes, it's no longer really fair, per se, just wishy washy fence sitting. A different variety of unfairness.

....TIL I am a horrible, horrible person. Thanks FS. :P

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(Anonymous) - 2017-03-22 05:59 (UTC) - Expand

Ooooh, I'm guilty of this. Having most of my family be religiously conservative does not help.

as a confrontational person, i absolutely hate this haha. i understand it to a degree; not wanting to get involved, not wanting to add to the drama, having anxiety, etc. but at a certain point it really feels like a distinct lack of loyalty when a friend consistently won't involve themselves or voice an opinion. i hate that quality in a person.

I hate this so much. It feels so incredibly selfish that by not picking a side they're eternally on their own side.

I mean I can see not giving a shit about some issues, like who cares what you put on your own pizza? But at some point it starts coming across as really narcissistic that you can't or won't care about other people. Like their conflicts just aren't important to you.

Overly sweet/optimistic which slides into unhelpful.
My roommate's like this - I was bitching to her about my part time job, and she was like "so go do what you love!" and I said, well, that's not really an option - there aren't that many people looking for these specific talents, and the job is actually pretty cushy. It's rare to find something that good.
Her: "But you should do what you feel"
Me: "I'm kind of dependent on the job market..."
Her: "I'm sure that if you really want-"
Me: "It doesn't MATTER WHAT I WANT, IT MATTERS WHAT JOBS ARE AVAILABLE."

She finally admitted that she was saying that because she didn't have anything actually helpful to say, and I was like SO COMMISERATE WITH ME, SAY "YEAH, THAT SUCKS" AND LET'S MOVE ON. Empty words don't actually make me feel better!

Ugh. Some people are sort of trained that negative situations have to be countered by being all chirpy and positive, so all they have in their arsenal is empty platitudes. It's very annoying.

Re: Worst qualities of generally good people

ketita - 2017-03-21 23:49 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Worst qualities of generally good people

(Anonymous) - 2017-03-22 00:11 (UTC) - Expand

I'm a generally optimistic person, but I'm glad I'm not this type at least. That is so not helpful.

Re: Worst qualities of generally good people

ketita - 2017-03-22 00:01 (UTC) - Expand

Inability to accept being wrong. That trait alone can sometimes make a person shitty (especially if they're a parent), but some people with it are otherwise decent.

Wikipedia calls that delusional LOL.

"A delusion is a belief that is held with strong conviction despite superior evidence to the contrary."

Source: I provided said superior evidence, and was somehow still painted as the bad guy.

General insensitivity, I guess.

"I have NO sympathy for x person because..."

1) "...they should have known z event was going to happen."

2) "...they did a bad thing and don't deserve any. Besides, having sympathy for them means you totally condone what they did."

3) "...someone else in the world is suffering, way, way worse so they just need to shut their trap and count their blessings."

my mom fits into that third group. I don't even talk to her about any reason I'm feeling depressed anymore unless somebody actually died.

I am generally a sympathetic person, and am the one that everyone I know seems to flock to when they need sympathy. BUT. In the specific event that someone was absolutely 100% aware of the extreme likelihood that bad consequences would directly result from doing a thing (eg having unprotected sex leading to pregnancy.) And deliberately chose to do the thing anyway when they were fully capable of NOT doing the thing (eg knowing full well that they were going to be having sex ahead of time, and knowing that extremely affordable and easy to obtain condoms would help prevent pregnancy, and deliberately refusing to use them any of the multiple times they planned to, and did, have sex anyway.) And then acted surprised and victimized when the bad consequences happened (them/their partner ending up pregnant.) I really can't find it in me to think that they really deserve much sympathy. And yes, I have seen the scenario I used as my example play out multiple times with people I knew, despite the fact that, as I knew very well, they were completely aware of all of the things I described, and were very much capable of obtaining as many @(&@^$ing condoms as they wanted EASILY.

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Re: Worst qualities of generally good people

el_regrs - 2017-03-22 11:35 (UTC) - Expand

Friends who tell me their problems, but shoot down EVERY suggestion I offer to fix their situation, even in cases where they acknowledge my suggestion would indeed fix things, but they caaaaaaan't because (insert half assed excuse here). If they're not going to listen, why bring it up! "I just wanted to vent!" Okay do that elsewhere then, because if your venting means closing yourself off to solutions that would prevent future venting, you are wasting both of our times!

Re: Worst qualities of generally good people

el_regrs - 2017-03-22 11:31 (UTC) - Expand

people who apologize all the time! cut it the fuck out dude!

People who take any sort of criticism or negativity way too personally/seriously.

"Could you please return my stapler?" should not translate to "You are a worthless pathetic excuse for a human being who can't even remember something simple like returning things you borrow, also I hate you and your pets are ugly."

I mean I get it, it's not like they're trying to have mental health issues at me, and I know it sucks dealing with that. But it's not good for my sanity either to constantly try and second guess what's going to set someone off. I start getting paranoid that they're getting upset on purpose in order to keep my stapler forever because if I'm too afraid to ask then they never have to return it.

And obviously this is stupidly complicated because I don't want to argue that I should be able to go "You haven't returned my stapler yet, have you? Figures. You never return anything on time, you lazy hosebeast." and har har they're just words why are they getting upset that's so dumb they need to toughen up special snowflake cuck.

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