fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4413 ]

[ SECRET POST #4413 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4413 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #632.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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So, personally, I mostly try to avoid interacting with you in the first place, so I don't really have anything to do with whatever hater anon you're talking about. And I don't expect this to lead to any change or reflection on your part. But I just want to make it clear that it's definitely not any one person who finds your posting bad, and I think that framing it as a "hater anon" or "troll" is wrong.

There is one of them, tho, who... Well, frankly, I live rent free in their head.

They have a hate boner second only to the hate boner Trump will get when he RBG passes on.

It's kinda beautiful.

Lol just because someone enjoys venting their anger and frustration onto you doesn’t mean you’re in their head. Some people llike to bully and tear down others, some just enjoy it more when they convince themselves their target deserves it.

Hang on, you lost me. Am I the bully or the target?

But I am in their head. They have a little shrine to me in their closet. It's made up of their own fecal matter and ejaculate. They cry at it for hours every night.

You’re the target but it seems like there’s an awful lot going on in your head too....

I don't know how I feel about that.

I supposed I'd rather be the target than the bully, but honestly I don't really feel too targeted either.

So now I'm confused... do you think someone is obsessed with hating you or not? I think someone enjoying telling you to kill yourself is bullying you whether or not you're torn up about it.

Maybe their intent is to bully. Or maybe they know it wouldn't bother me and are just trying to appeal to my dark sense of humour.

I don't know which. but if they hate me, I'd be interested in knowing why they are and how I've wronged them, and if they're just trying to be dank, I'm happy to play along.

I don't think I'm bullying them, and I know they're not bullying me, whether they intend to or not.

Continuous suicide baiting is a bit more than just "finding his posting bad" though.

I don't know anything about that. That does go too far. But people finding his posting bad, or calling him an idiot, is not limited to any one person.

Oh, I know. I could probably admit to being an idiot.

I don't think I count as an ass-hole as people above mention, tho, because I do try not to be malicious.

I think when you do it very consistently, and aggressively, and inconsiderately, without ever thinking about it or considering what you're doing, it approaches a point of negligence.

But of course, you're your own boss.

Well, I mean yesterday I told a lesbian I approved of her taste in women. And apparently the comment wasn't bad, it was my being male and making the comment that was the problem. I don't think this is on me as much as people pretend.

I am... perhaps somewhat odd. And confident enough, or at least adopt a confident enough persona that I don't feel guilty for how others see me.

I do not go out of my way to bum people out, and frankly I think a lot of people are looking for someone exactly like me to be offended at.

lol you don't see how pretending to talk to a lesbian like they're a dog who has pleased you is hella sketch and othering coming from a straight man?

Not really... It's just a bit. Do you think if it had been a straight man who made the secret I'd have talked to them any differently?

Do you think if it had been a lesbian doing the same thing it's would have been better?

Bad behaviour is bad behaviour. A lesbian doing something bad isn't less ad because she's a lesbian.

I treat lesbians the same way I treat any other person, and if your objection to that is "Well, other men are mean to lesbians" I say that sucks, but what the hell has that to do with me?

The comment was not "bad behavior". But a lesbian identifying with another lesbian in a silly way has different connotations than a straight man commenting on his opinion of a lesbian's sexuality, even in a silly way.

For example, seemingly similar comments and behavior were wildly different in intent, motivation, and effect when directed at me from an old, straight, female coworker and a young, straight male classmate. Not because I hate men or something, but because they had very different perspectives and expectations.

Do you think if it had been a straight man who made the secret I'd have talked to them any differently?

Honestly, I think it would have been weird if you had said it to a straight dude. It wouldn't have been as problematic but it wouldn't have been, like, a chill normal thing to say. To my mind.

Re: So any guesses...

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-04 02:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: So any guesses...

thewakokid - 2019-02-04 08:28 (UTC) - Expand

Re: So any guesses...

thewakokid - 2019-02-04 08:37 (UTC) - Expand

Re: So any guesses...

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-04 14:18 (UTC) - Expand

Re: So any guesses...

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-04 14:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: So any guesses...

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-04 14:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: So any guesses...

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-04 14:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: So any guesses...

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-04 15:41 (UTC) - Expand

that seems like a weirdly oversensitive way of reading it, and that's coming from a wlw who doesn't even like wako most of the time
like people are just allowed to say 'you have good taste' regardless of their gender/sexuality and the gender/sexuality of the person they're talking to

I agree with this! The part that was weird was communicating that by talking to them like they were a good dog

This is my feeling on it.

I admit my phrasing might have been a little... unconventional, but I think it's known that I like to be playful. I'm a puckish rouge!

I think, even someone who doesn't particularly like me would expect my to talk the same way to everyone I speak to.

And apparently the comment wasn't bad, it was my being male and making the comment that was the problem. I don't think this is on me as much as people pretend.

I thought it was condescending and weird, and the gender dynamic probably exacerbated those feelings. That's how I personally felt about it. I can't speak for anyone else. I know I'm not looking for anything to be offended at, and it feels like you're using that as an excuse. But - again - you're your own boss.

Well, personally I think that's a wrong read of what I was saying, but I can't fault you for how it feels to you. You also are your own boss.

If it helps, I was going for weird, weird was exactly my intention. Condescending, not so much. Maybe playful would be more how I was meaning it.

And yeah, I don't think everyone is just looking to be offended, but I do think it's a lot of people.

Re: So any guesses...

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-04 13:55 (UTC) - Expand

Re: So any guesses...

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-04 14:17 (UTC) - Expand

Yeah, he has (my estimate) one or two extreme haters who do tend to go full "go kill yourself" on a lot of his comments. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them was the same person who bitches at philstar every time they write - it's a similar type of obsessive hate-boner.

huh, you're not wrong about that. It is somewhat similar. Although you could argue that I've done more to invite it.

I don't think I like that. I don't want to have to share my hater. Now I don't feel as special anymore.

I bitched at Philstar that one night but I've only done it once so there's more than one of us igss

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