fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4846 ]

[ SECRET POST #4846 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4846 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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For those like me who have trouble making choices, feel free to make your own thread below.

I want to start a rewatch, I found the harddrive with some of my old favorites and some other things I haven't rewatched in a while. But I can't make up my mind. These are the ones I'm deciding between:

Babylon 5
Buffy
Body of Proof
Legend of the Seeker
Supernatural (seasons 1-5)

Which should I watch first?

Since the only one I’ve seen is Supernatural, I’m gonna go with Supernatural.

Thanks! Supernatural it is.

I'll go with Supernatural, too, mainly because I'm debating watching it next (haven't watched the past few seasons so I need to catch up).

Thanks! Going with Supernatural.

As one of the few remaining fans of Body of Proof, I strongly encourage you to rewatch it! Personally, though, I like to pretend the idiotic stain upon humanity that is the third season doesn't exist, how 'bout you? I mean, okay, so really I like to pretend the series stops three episodes before the end of the second season, because that was where the bullshit started. Loved it up until that point, though!

Also, I ship the hell out of Megan and Kate, partially 'cause they have such wonderful chemistry and partially because I can count on one hand the number of non-femmeslash ships I have for Jeri Ryan characters. Also, it's fun to imagine how awkward it would be for Megan's ex-husband.

The third season really sucks, doesn't it? I only own the first two seasons anyway. Maybe I'll rewatch both that and Supernatural. Some days I feel like scifi/fantasy, some days I feel like crime/law.

Oh, I shipped both Megan/Kate and Megan/Peter. Just not Megan/the new guy who shall remain nameless and who shouldn't exist.

Edited 2020-04-13 03:43 (UTC)

Just got Netflix finally so I could watch Kingdom, anything else I should watch as well? Already added The Rain to my listed as well. Mostly interested in horror, sci-fi, monsters, dystopian etc.

Please help! There's so much stuff it's like overload lol.

Penny Dreadful is good, early seasons of Mindhunter are good, I've only seen a few episodes of Witcher but I think it is okay, Chef's Table is fun. Do not watch Tiger King.

Oooh thank you. :D And lol yeah just from seeing the memes and stuff going around for Tiger King it doesn't seem like something I'd enjoy.

Re: What should I watch (or read)

philstar22 - 2020-04-12 22:05 (UTC) - Expand

I enjoyed:

The Witch
The Lodgers

But both are more for atmosphere than an A+ plot.

I think I've seen the Witch before, it was... boring? I will try the Lodgers though! :)

Dark!

Yes! This came up when I was looking at The Rain and I shall definitely watch it!

I don't know whether to break up with my girlfriend or not.

I got with her after my divorce from my cheating ex husband. I had a break down, and eventually had to send my 11 year old daughter away so I could go to a psych ward. When I started dating, I tried dating women and met my current girlfriend (I'm a woman).

I eventually got better mentally and want to get my daughter back. I've been with my girlfriend for two years now. We moved in together and are planning on one day getting married. I've started having my daughter stay with us more and my girlfriend is acting resentful. She doesn't like kids, doesn't want any, and doesn't want my daughter to live with us full time.

Is that it? Is that the end of the road for us?

I'm sorry, I have no one to turn to.

I know I'm just random Joe Shmoe on the Internet, but this sounds like a Come To Jesus situation? I wouldn't be with someone who couldn't accept my dog, much less my kid (if I had one). I mean, your kid is your kid for life. You know through experience that a spouse isn't necessarily for life.

I'm sorry I posted this in the wrong place.

Honestly, I'm going to say yes. As someone who doesn't want kids myself, it isn't fair to you, your girlfriend, our your daughter to keep things going as they are.

If you're girlfriend knows what she wants and knows she doesn't want children, she may eventually give in and agree to let your daughter live with you because she loves you. But she may always be resentful about it and you're daughter would feel that from her. You're daughter deserves to live in a home where everyone loves her, you deserve to have a partner who loves you're daughter like you do, and you're girlfriend deserves to live the childfree life she wants.

Sometimes love just isn't enough and personal needs just make being together longterm incompatible.

I'm truly sorry. I really am. I can't say I know for certain because I'm not you or you're girlfriend. But as someone who like you're girlfriend doesn't want kids, I personally feel like the best thing you can do for both her and you is to break up now. I wish she had the courage to do it for you because if it were me I would have done it because kids are a deal breaker for me.

Re: What should I watch (or read)

(Anonymous) - 2020-04-12 21:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What should I watch (or read)

philstar22 - 2020-04-12 22:02 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What should I watch (or read)

(Anonymous) - 2020-04-12 22:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What should I watch (or read)

(Anonymous) - 2020-04-12 22:25 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What should I watch (or read)

philstar22 - 2020-04-12 22:57 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What should I watch (or read)

(Anonymous) - 2020-04-13 00:26 (UTC) - Expand

+1

(Anonymous) - 2020-04-13 00:35 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What should I watch (or read)

(Anonymous) - 2020-04-13 01:22 (UTC) - Expand

It honestly sounds like you're not compatible, but before throwing the baby out with the bathwater, you need to sit her down and have a talk with her.

Let her know that whether or not you expect her to act like a step-parent to your child and exactly what that entails, and how obviously, you're not going to choose a spouse (or near-spouse) over your own child, and that this may be the end of the road for you guys if things carry on the way they've been.

I don't want kids, I've never really wanted them, but if I met someone who had a kid it would honestly depend on how much parenting they actually expected from me. If it boiled down to "back me up when I decide rules/punishments" and "be nice and treat them like a smaller roommate", I'd probably be find with that tbh.

And you need to decide if that could be enough for you if she's willing to agree to that bare minimum, or if you want her to be an involved Other Mother.

But basically. You need to talk to her about this. Be calm and reasonable but also lay it all out that this is a make or break point in your relationship, because your daughter is not going away.

It sounds like the end to me. There's a lot of small, negotiable stuff in relationships but "I have a kid" vs. "I don't want your kid" isn't one of them. I'm assuming that having your daughter in your life is non-negotiable to you, so there's only one option for your girlfriend - she can get on board, or if she doesn't want to, it's best if you break up now.

I can see where it's tempting to try and make things work, but unless your girlfriend agrees to make a sincere effort to try and be a united family, this is a non-starter.

When my best friend was a kid, his mother dated a string of guys who didn't want kids, wasn't interested in being a parental figure, and didn't even want him around. They didn't physically abuse him, but they acted much like you describe - resentful, and never wanted him to live with them full time. His mother chose to keep having these men in her life because she convinced herself that it was okay. It wasn't. It pretty much destroyed any potential for a relationship with her own son and he wants nothing to do with her.

You've been through a lot, and so has your daughter and she's just a kid. I'm sorry, but I think you owe it to her and to yourself to only be with people who love her and want her in their lives. Trying to force the situation won't do anyone any favors.

+1

(Anonymous) - 2020-04-13 00:38 (UTC) - Expand

Yeah, if she's purposefully making your relationship with your daughter difficult in her own selfishness (which is what it sounds like by your description) then break up with her. Never choose the one who makes you choose, they're always the one in the wrong when it comes to situations like this.

I'm sorry you had to go through with this, and I'm sorry your girlfriend is making things difficult between you and your daughter.

Re: What should I watch (or read)

(Anonymous) - 2020-04-13 01:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What should I watch (or read)

(Anonymous) - 2020-04-13 01:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What should I watch (or read)

(Anonymous) - 2020-04-13 02:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What should I watch (or read)

(Anonymous) - 2020-04-13 03:02 (UTC) - Expand

You should talk to her directly about this.

If it comes to choosing between your girlfriend or your daughter, go with the daughter. You can always get another partner (easier said than done, I know) but you don't get to re-do having a relationship with your daughter.

I lived part-time in a home where my stepmother didn't want me around. My experience was different in that I was quite young when she moved in with my dad, and I felt very close to her until she had a baby on her own, and started trying to bully me out. I was 11 at the time, and having a parental figure suddenly make it very clear that I was unloved and unwanted gave me severe self-esteem issues that plagued me for all of high school. It also made me develop a behavioural pattern that checks all the boxes for avoidant personality disorder, which I didn't get past until well into my twenties, and which still has lingering tracks in my mid thirties.

I'd guess that your daughter is old enough for her to not ever be as tight with your girlfriend as I was to my once stepmother, but she's old enough to notice that she's unwanted, yet young enough to take it on herself, and not on the adult treating her wrongly. And are YOU prepared to share your life with a person who will treat a child badly because of her personal resentment?

If the choice is between your daugther and your girlfriend, then I can't make it for you. But if you suspect that your girlfriend might treat your daughter badly, then please don't let them live in the same home. It took more than a year before my dad realised that my stepmother abused me, because she never screamed or shunned me in front of him. What he noticed, was my change in behaviour - not hers.

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