[ SECRET POST #5654 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5654 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 16 secrets from Secret Submission Post #809.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

General comments:

(If the thread contains spoilery/triggery content please warn/post as 2nd comment so it collapses!
Please collapse images, too!)

Nay & Yay!

[tabaqui]

Nay - Woke up feeling like absolute shite; sore throat, congested, dizzy.

Yay - Got the doggo (dog sitting for exSO) to walk up and down her ramp (used to get into the car) several times, both in the house (propped on books), and into my car. Previously, she had utterly refused (though I think some kind of stairs would be better for her than the ramp, but it's something). She has arthritis in her hips and we gotta do something for her.

Re: Nay & Yay!

[(Anonymous)]

Nay - My savings have taken a substantial hit due to a bunch of unexpected expenses

Yay - I got to leave work early because the power went out

Re: Nay & Yay!

[tabaqui]

Bummer. Mine seem to be permanently depleted.
Enjoy your early day!

Re: Nay & Yay!

[philstar22]

Nay: I'm exhausted. Physically and mentally. My poor sister's dog is so stressed by not being with her humans that she has barely eaten or drunk anything since Sunday night. And she keeps whining in the middle of the night.


Yay: I'm off work until Tuesday. So happy to have some vacation. I'm alone in my home, other than the animals. I can do what I want. Debating whether I want an LOTR or Star Wars marathon. One of those two. Or maybe MCU? Well, something. And I can sleep as much as I want. And I don't have to worry about work things for 5 whole days. And I have the house to myself until Sunday evening.

Also nay: Accidentally left my phone at work

Also yay: I ordered some kitty toys to apologize to my girl for the presence of the dog this week.

Re: Nay & Yay!

[tabaqui]

Awww! Poor thing. Fortunately exSO's doggo grew up here (we weren't divorced then), so she's not super-stressed being here. Much better than if she were at a boarding facility.

Awesome! Enjoy your days. :D

Edit - Eeep!

Re: Nay & Yay!

[(Anonymous)]

Nay (almost wrote that as Nah... feels like a huge Nah!) - shitty week at work, so much dumped on me at once. And if the schedule looks correct... it'll be more of the same next week. FUCK. Also I messed up someone's account (later corrected) and probably caused a false alarm about one of the systems.

Yay (hopefully) - five days off soon (bittersweet though, I'll be coming back to a lot of work). I just want to rest and not worry, but also think and plan for stuff. Also, since I cut out alcohol and about 70% sugar, and started eating yogurt with little to no sugar added, I've started losing some of this pandemic weight.

Re: Nay & Yay!

[tabaqui]

Ack! Packed schedule, unfun.

Awesome! Good on you - hope you're feeling good.

Re: Nay & Yay!

[(Anonymous)]

Yay: Finished a painting and I quite like it.
Nay: Complete radio silence after uploading it. Sometimes it's very frustrating.

Re: Nay & Yay!

[tabaqui]

Congratulations!

Sometimes, it really is.

Re: Nay & Yay!

[(Anonymous)]

Nay: I can't stay focused long enough to finish my present for my friend! Sigh.

Yay: Doujinshi came in the mail and it's even better than I hoped; OTP got new jobs, new clothes, went on dates, and got married. I am in my 30's and have been crying over the same two characters for half my life, fictional romance has brought me so much more joy than any of my own IRL. Wait, is this a Yay or a Nay... pffft.

Re: Nay & Yay!

[dancingmouse]

Nay: My back hurts so bad I can barely stand up.

Yay: I finally started reading again. Little victories!

Re: Nay & Yay!

[ibbity]

Nay: last night I was play-wrestling with my cat and something startled him and he kicked me in the face and one of his back claws caught me in the lip, and now I have a cut and bruised lip (much less swollen than this morning tho)

Yay: a library by my parents has a used book sale every 4th of July and I'm gonna get a bag of new used books on Monday!

Re: Nay & Yay!

[(Anonymous)]

Nay - I fell off the roof the other day and my injuries all decided to hurt extra today.

Yay - I had the best birthday party of my life! Just my husband and my dad sitting at the kitchen table with me shooting the shit and we had cake. I also got exactly what I wanted for gifts which was, “something you see out and about that you think would make me smile or laugh. Don’t buy to buy, I’d rather get nothing. Do not spend over $20.” And my guys came through with aces! I got a funny shirt from my husband and my dad gave me the garden stone he accidentally kicked through the window a few years ago (he was playing with my dog and not wearing his glasses, thought it was Baxter’s ball) and a wonderfully tacky beer koozie. Oh and they put everything together into a dino gift bag that was probably meant for a 6 year old boy but this 50 year old woman loved it.

Re: Nay & Yay!

[(Anonymous)]

Nay - I have my annual review at work today. My boss is fine so I know it won't be a disaster that reduces me to tears, but I still hate the anticipation.

Yay - completed Week 4 of Couch to 5k this morning! Went slightly further than last time, so this is my longest run to date.

Recipe thread

[(Anonymous)]

Ask for 'em or share 'em

Re: Recipe thread

[(Anonymous)]

Anyone know of any good recipes that include lentils?

Re: Recipe thread

[(Anonymous)]

Genuine life hack here: don't boil gnocchi, bake them! It makes them all soft on the inside and nice and crispy on the outside. So so superior.

One I've been doing a lot lately is tossing gnocchi with olive oil, garlic, cherry tomatoes, and bacon-- you just dump all that onto a sheet pan, then pop it in a 425 degree oven for about 40-45 minutes with a halfway stir. The tomatoes burst mid-bake and mixes with the bacon drippings to make an unbelievably tasty jammy sauce. It's so, so good, and SO easy.

Re: Recipe thread

[(Anonymous)]

https://www.budgetbytes.com/one-pot-bacon-broccoli-mac-cheese/

I love this so much because I can eat mac and cheese and pretend it's healthy(er) because ~broccoli~. Plus it's delicious.

Re: Recipe thread

[(Anonymous)]

If you ever have a single leftover onion, cut it up and simply throw some honey on it - then bake or grill and afterwards throw it over some pasta or bread. Learned this by chance and trial a few days ago. Being broke, I can no longer afford to let *anything* go to waste. Heh.

Re: Recipe thread

[(Anonymous)]

I've been making sandwiches on whole grain bread with mustard and (fake--no eggs) mayo with chipotle powder sprinkled in, provolone, veggie fake bacon, avocado, tomato, grated carrot, and alfalfa sprouts.

Tahini thinned with lots of lemon juice and maybe added lemon zest makes an amazing salad with mixed baby lettuce and spinach, torn romaine, sliced Persian cucumbers, grated carrot and maybe red cabbage, cherry tomatoes, avocado, diced red bell pepper, and sunflower sprouts. Top with grated white cheddar and tamari sunflower seeds (pour raw sunflower seeds into heavy pan and stir over heat until they start to toast, turn off heat and add tamari or soy sauce and keep stirring until the pan is dry and seeds are coated.) Way less cheesegrater on your gums than store bought croutons.

(Wow I sound so much healthier than I am lol, but I'm fat and also don't bother making ice cream from scratch so my recipe is "open carton, grab spoon, try not to give yourself brainfreeze.")

Oh wait, here's an unhealthy recipe. It can be gluten free if you get gluten free chocolate, but that's incidental; I fucking love bread and pasta.

For every one cup of natural peanut butter (nothing but peanuts and salt) add one cup brown sugar, one egg, one tablespoon vanilla, and one cup chocolate chips. You can add a half teaspoon of baking powder but you don't have to.

Put big spoonfuls on a parchment lined baking sheet and bake at 350 for ten minutes or so; I think they're awesome a bit underdone.

Eat with a glass of milk.

You could probably use chunky peanut butter, I like smooth. I use superfine (not powdered which has cornstarch) sugar mixed with molasses instead of brown sugar; I like the texture better.

I've never tried them with other nut butters, but I assume experiments would be delicious.

If you want the diabetic coma version, form the dough into balls, put cupcake liners in a muffin tin, squash the dough balls to make a little well in the top, and fill with dulce de leche when they come out of the oven.

(Dulce de leche: peel labels off and put unopened cans of sweetened condensed milk in a pan of simmering water, simmer for an hour or two, let cool completely before opening cans.)

Um... venting?...

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry about this. Feel free to vent down below if you'd like. I just need to vent somewhere about this and I am not sure if there's an appropriate subreddit for this.

So, thanks to my migraines I went after a neurologist, and a few imaging exams later we found out that I have a brain ... thing. This thing *may* explain a lot of apparently unrelated symptoms I had in life such as (disorders and autism but also) migraine, loss of bladder control, puking, transitory aphasia, forgetfulness, visual processing issues - just... a lot of things that made me a "haha, sickly & quirky" person but actually made me struggle a lot growing up, get bullied and gaslit nearly to death and become a depersonalized and frightened loner over being VERY vulnerable since it was bad, but not frequent enough to warrant a visit to a doctor growing up in a poor environment. Just the occasional "oh no, WTF is going on with my body/brain now?" .

Ever since I found out about this it's like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders. Back then I would put myself through unimaginable pain just to get by, and was gaslit into believing that everyone was struggling as much as I was. The pandemic, ironically, opened my eyes to the fact that I worked better than many people in a stress-free environment (home) and that most people couldn't be bothered to wear a mask, which seemed like a minimal disturbance compared to everything I went through every day. Before the pandemic I honestly thought I would die very soon. Turns out my migraines were caused by this thing and indeed I could've died of a stroke at an early age. Worse yet, could've ended up on a wheelchair and turned dependant on my small aging family.

So yeah, honestly, I am doing great right now. In fact, a lot better than ever before. I feel less vulnerable and more in control now, and have a legitimate excuse to be a loner for a while so it's been a win/win situation, in a way. I still struggle with money and employment but /when have I not haha/ so it's okay. Anyway, the only part that's been difficult about all this is that I can't explain it to others. This thing has a name but it doesn't begin to explain it. It's the kind of condition that can cause anything ranging from "nothing" to "sudden death" so the name isn't enough.

And so, my friends (the few friends that I have) don't know about this. They know I've been seeing doctors but that's about it. There is no quick or easy way to explain the psychological *grip* it's always had on me. Of course some of them have witnessed me at my worst and been at a loss. What are you supposed to do when a friend suddenly starts throwing up on the car, can't understand what you're saying or go back home? I never drank alcohol, did drugs or anything like that (because I always knew my brain haha) so it's always been confusing for everyone, at best, and I am aware that I can go from "very competent" to "a huge pain" in few seconds, and they learned to deal with it and "spoil me" but I despise relying on others. At this point I am VERY glad I can stay home instead of being disoriented outside, but still not fully healed (trying to avoid a scary surgery that may be unavoidable, and may or may not be helpful?) and that's it.

In short, my brain plainly sucks on some days, and I've come to accept it as long as I am inside (because it's harder for migraines to kick in) and alone and nobody can see it and I can rest but I can't really explain it. And I want to lead a normal life but I can't do that *everyday*. I can put off things, I can skip a concert, but I can't say "hey, sorry about missing our appointment or doing everything half assedly today, sucky brain day". So I have been giving excuses and doing things half assedly, but it's almost like I am being a bad friend on purpose. It's nothing personal, and it's not about my feelings either, it's just... sorry I can't do the friend thing right now, health issue, maybe I will be able to get back to it in a few years? How to even get this point across when you're not comatose or...? It's not even depression or anything like that, just an actual physical brain thing, which is the hardest thing to explain. It's not "no biggie" and I probably won't die tomorrow because of it either. Nothing has changed and I don't deserve pity I am just kinda sick with a Thing and hopefully recovering (instead of getting worse until dementia which would be the usual course) ??

... my head is burning now that I have typed so much (after going out with a friend and failing miserably in many ways) shit. Maybe I should get some sleep, lol. Anyway, I wanted to share this to hear some perspective from the other side. What would you like to hear from a friend who struggles with something like this? I am not good at explaining things so I try to pretend everything is fine, and it really is *sometimes* . And I don't want people to think they have to spoil me anymore, unless leaving me alone means spoiling. I don't know. It's all confusing.

Re: Um... venting?...

[(Anonymous)]

Separate Vent from OP:

You know you're still in a male dominated society when everyone and their mother talks about how something "Goes hard".

Re: Um... venting?...

[(Anonymous)]

Shit, OP, that's clearly a lot to deal with. Maybe do get some sleep, and possibly some food and water, whatever helps you.

(I should probably get some sleep myself, so take all of this with a pinch of salt and hopefully some charity for my inarticulate statements.)

I think you should do your best to explain to your friends what's going on with you, if you feel comfortable disclosing. Explain what's hard for you, what you need to do to take care of yourself, and how that's going to impact your friendship (and potentially make you seem like a "bad friend"). Maybe you can't easily explain the full impact of what it means for your existence, but you can hopefully describe a little. It might not even make perfect sense to them, but I would hope that they could at least understand "Anon, my friend, is having a serious brain issue and needs to take care of themself." Personally, I would much rather hear that from a friend than simply have them disappear from my life and wonder why.

I also really hope you can distinguish between pity and sympathy from your friends. I don't pity my friends or family -- I care about their wellbeing and I am sad when they're sad or struggling. I want to help, if I can. If your friends try to express their sympathies, I hope you're open to the idea that they genuinely care about you and aren't just being condescending or pitying.

Re: Um... venting?...

[tabaqui]

I think you explained very well!
Holy crap, Anon - all of that sounds fucking horrifying and frustrating and exhausting to live through, and I'm SO glad you finally got an answer and a diagnosis. I know I felt that way when I had to have emergency surgery and they were like 'well, you have Crohn's, so that is why.....' Because up until that point, I think a lot of people who knew me thought I was making shit up just to get out of things or whatever.

So - YAY! I hope they have some kind of way to deal with this? A medication or something that will maybe alleviate some of the symptoms? Or at least make them more bearable.

I think if you really wanted to tell your friends, go one at time, one on one, mention something that's happened in the past (hey, remember that time that I ....?) and then explain your doctor found this issue (lesion? tumor? weird brain wiring?) that basically can cause a huge laundry list of issues, and that's what you've been struggling with, undiagnosed, for years, and now you feel really happy and relieved that there's a concrete thing you can deal with instead of random events happening to your brain/body that seem to have no trigger and no cause.

Or just copy/paste most of your post into an email or FB or something and share it - if I were a friend, I'd be thrilled to know you finally have some answers.

Good luck! I'm so happy that you have this information now.