[ SECRET POST #6353 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6353 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Honkai: Star Rail]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 22 secrets from Secret Submission Post #908.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

You're gonna get shit for this, but... I relate. It weirds me out because I've had mostly trans friends for over a decade and they don't act like this obsessed over gender, it's just who they are. Is this a young millennial/gen Z thing?

[(Anonymous)]

Chronically Online Gays. Gays in the world don't carry on like this.

[(Anonymous)]

Truth. I had to stop looking for queer spaces online because it was full of this and angry exclusion discourse. I found some queer spaces offline and it reminded me that most people are normal and chill.

[(Anonymous)]

Yep. This is the age of the Chronically Online generation, and the young, neurodivergent queers are especially affected and, my god, I GET IT, I do, honestly (I had a late autism diagnosis and made that my ENTIRE personality for about two months before I was like 'aight time to move on') but some people just... don't know how to do something *else*. I get it, you are celebrating who you are. But like. I hate that when I'm searching for fic, I have to put in a LOT of exclusionary tags because I'm trying to curate to avoid triggering my dysphoria and these kids will just slip a bunch of c-boy fic without tagging it so I'm having a great time and all of a sudden 'x' character is having his vag fisted, like, *what*. You call it out and get yelled at for being transphobic???? because I don't want to read 'So and So gets his Boypussy Turnt out'???

...

fucking christ, I have taken this way too personally LOL

[(Anonymous)]

"I'm trying to curate to avoid triggering my dysphoria and these kids will just slip a bunch of c-boy fic without tagging it so I'm having a great time and all of a sudden 'x' character is having his vag fisted, like, *what*. You call it out and get yelled at for being transphobic???? because I don't want to read 'So and So gets his Boypussy Turnt out'???"

OMG, this is a problem I have too. I'm far from a fandom old and pretty young but I remember the days of "don't like, don't read" and "your kink is not my kink, and that's okay", but that doesn't apply in this case? Like, I need to know if your stuff has certain things so I can avoid it (or read it if I'm into that), and there are personal turnoffs I have in my porn. There are transcanons for certain male characters I'm into if it's respectful (no shade to transmen who are happy to reclaim terms like c*ntboy or like trans mpreg, but I find it distasteful), but PIV and AMAB+AFAB sex is not something that turns me on and I would like to avoid it. I wish that was something I can say off anon.

[(Anonymous)]

SAME. I ran into one and the author was like "No, I will not tag it trans character or vaginal sex because you people need to learn not to be transphobes." Like. What.

[(Anonymous)]

Which is hilariously ironic because all of the people I know who get the most upset about untagged trans character stuff are actually trans themselves and get upset about it because it triggers their own dysphoria.

[feotakahari]

Trans people offline: “It’s fine if you don’t want to have sex with us. We just hate how you talk about how fuckable or not fuckable we are every single time you see us. We exist for more reasons than to have sex with you.”

Trans people on AO3: “you’re transphobic if you can’t masturbate to trans porn.”

[(Anonymous)]

I take it there were no tags or trigger warnings on the fics?

[(Anonymous)]

I relate, too. As someone who started hanging out in LGBT spaces in the early aughts, it's quite weird, and definitely something that trends young.

And they have some perspectives that just seem...I'm not sure what the adjective would be. I happened to stumble across a post the other day where people were basically saying that anyone who tries to say there are possible side effects or complications from HRT, SRS, etc is only doing so because they hate trans people. The belief being expressed was that there are no negative effects at all, ever, for anyone, from any of it. They were even denying really low-level, basic things that everyone knows, such as that taking testosterone can increase aggression. I was like...well, first of all, that's impossible. Even the absolute best medications and surgeries still have some side effects, because we're complicated, imperfect beings living in a complicated, imperfect world. But second, what in the gosh darn heck do they think when they happen across the side effects for pretty much anything else? "Damn, they must really hate people with high cholesterol, telling them there's a possibility of getting liver disease from taking statins!"

And look, I get it: there are crazy people out there who think that the presence of side effects and complications for SRS means that it should be banned outright. Those people are wrong. But the fact that those people exist doesn't mean that side effects don't.

[(Anonymous)]

what in the gosh darn heck do they think when they happen across the side effects for pretty much anything else? "Damn, they must really hate people with high cholesterol, telling them there's a possibility of getting liver disease from taking statins!"

I work in a medical field and yes, absolutely, people take side effects as a personal attack across pretty much any drug. A lot of people think there's a perfect medication for their condition and anything that isn't perfect means that the doctor/Big Pharma/science/conspiracy theory du jour/I personally am hiding it from them for nefarious reasons. Trans healthcare might be more politically fraught but it's hardly unique.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Geez, that's absolutely bonkers to me, especially since I'm the exact opposite! I feel like I'm being properly cared for if side effects and complications are explained to me.

I can't imagine why someone wouldn't want to know about side effects, so that they can be prepared for them; and I can't imagine being under the illusion that we've perfected medicine (as if we're capable of perfecting anything). It must be frustrating having to deal with that mindset on a regular basis.

[(Anonymous)]

It's like medication. There's positive and negative effects and for some people the good will outweigh the bad. It's not truly informed consent if we're not allowed to talk about it. Even my friends who have had successful transitions have some notable gripes, both minor and major for their health.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Right, exactly! And it's important to know about those gripes, to know about negative effects, so that you can expect them and prepare for them. Like, off the top of my head, I know that taking estrogen can increase the chances of getting blood clots. Wouldn't you want to know about that so you can watch out for them? And wouldn't you feel upset if your doctor didn't tell you, and you wound up having a serious medical event from not catching one early enough?

[(Anonymous)]

Reminds me of that trans(or not? I think they weren't quite sure anymore afterwards) person who took testosterone and then got the classic male balding pattern that made them (early 20s) look like a middle aged accountant. And then they made a video to cry about it because weirdly, the glorious HRT didn't make them look like the cute twinky dreamboi they imagined themselves to turn into but like just.., a washed out dude. And theybregretted it immensely and they were mocked relentlessly for everything, not by cis people but by other "trans dudes" who had the good fortune that (at that point in time at least) the testosterone hadn't made their hair fall out (yet).

And shit like denying that there are side-effects, and be it just something harmless like balding, acne or hair growth in places you don't want it to, cultivated this toxic environment were people in their own community mock and attack each other for perfectly natural side effects that do, in fact, occur.

The whole thing also makes a lot of trans people end up unhappy with the bodies they end up with because their "no critical voices allowed" echo chambers made them have incredibly unrealistic expectations.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

This is really sad to me! D: It's really hard to talk openly in public about something as personal as balding and other aspects of physical appearance that make people very self-conscious. To be mocked for *common side effects* of transitioning is just awful.

It's always a bit interesting to me how in any progressive/social justice movement (or any form of politics, really), you can always identify a certain type of person who gladly throws individuals in their own group under the bus just because those individuals' personal experiences would be "bad optics" for the movement as a whole. Like, if you can't treat a single person with kindness and empathy, I don't think you'll be very good at creating a world where everyone is treated with kindness and empathy -- it's a bit self-undermining.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

But yeah, I've seen this. A recurring pain point in the detrans community in Reddit seems to be that testosterone has unpredictable and potentially irreversible effects on a woman's voice. It doesn't necessarily give them a masculine voice, and can fuck with their ability to pass as either gender. But I get the impression that a lot of the more talked about symptoms are less embarrassing to confess to other people. I was recently reading about trans men who've been pushed into the hormone equivalent of a post-menopausal state in their twenties by taking testosterone. Pelvic floor muscle loss was making them incontinent, and apparently this is an extremely common problem? And, I mean, I'm absolutely not bringing this up to embarrass anyone, I'm saying something because this is the sort of thing they should have been told was a risk before taking anything. And apparently weren't.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

>the fact that [people who want transition outlawed] exist doesn't mean that side effects don't.

This.

The first time I read the words of a detransitioner online, what they had to say about why they regretted surgery was a very precise litany of (likely permanent) unwanted side effects that they were not told about. I'd hoped that guy just had a particularly irresponsible doctor, but apparently not, because so much has come out since. Trans health care has made a complete mockery of the concept of informed consent, by hiding known medical problems from people who are weighing whether they think their life would get better after hormones and surgery. The most obvious side effect is the way both of these destroy sexual function (and even in the case of hormones, that's often not "reversible"), but I had no idea how much else they tend to mess up, besides.

[(Anonymous)]

There's definitely a young-seeming faction of my current fandom (which is pretty old itself) that seems a bit obsessive about gender, and frankly the way they talk about it is so foreign to my experience of gender that it's bewildering. I assume I'm just old and uncool. And I mean, cis, which I guess is my own fault.

I'm glad they're having fun, but it means there's a lot of fanwork I end up skimming and skipping over.

I privately identify as some ambiguous kind of not-straight, but I don't think there's any benefit to me personally seeking out any kind of community so I just try not to step on folks' toes.

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

I was a bit like that (I guess whatever version of it there was back then) when I was a closeted teen and didn't have LGBT friends offline. I experimented often with gender online and loved trans headcanons for my fandoms. This has faded a lot as I got older, I imagine a lot of young people who enjoy it have similar reasons though. Regardless, I feel you on not understanding or relating to that subset of fandom. I just scroll past the way I scroll past NOTPs and fanart styles I dislike.

[(Anonymous)]

Same. My RL friend group is mostly LGBTQ of varying flavors and they've never been like that either.

[(Anonymous)]

Funnily enough, in my fandom it's people from 20-40 years old. Doesn't feel like it's a generation thing.

[(Anonymous)]

Why, that fits exactly in the millenial/gen z bracket.

[(Anonymous)]

Those are two different generations, you cant just slash them together! Although now my brain is going in a slash=relationship dorection and I want a fic.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like different ages in the Millennial cohort react somewhat differently in regards to parsing out online/offline discourse on any topic. (Plus, it's been my experience that chronically online older Millennials are more hyperfocused on religion instead of gender).