fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6423 ]

[ SECRET POST #6423 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6423 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #918.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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It’s been a while since we did one of these. Big juicy stuff, small stuff no one else would get, and everything in between. Spill here!

When my cat chirps at me, I agree with him and tell him that I know. But I don't know.

I found a secret room in my house!!!
There’s a built in wall niche with a couple shoveled. I had a bunch of stuff crammed on there and a giant clothes rack blocking it from view or access. Today I dismantled the clothes rack and saw the backing of the niche was pushed back. I always assumed the exterior wall was there but it’s open space! It’s empty apart from a couple cinder blocks but it looks like it was a storage room and they sealed it off when they remodeled about 20 years ago.
I don’t want anyone to know. It’s not like I’m a killer or smuggler or something. I’m just really excited to have such a cool secret to keep! But I suck at keeping secrets so figured sharing anon here would help keep me from spilling the beans to everyone I know.

That's so cool! Keep it secret, I say!

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

(Anonymous) - 2024-08-07 02:31 (UTC) - Expand

If I found a room like that, I'd probably turn it into a mini-studio or something lol. Though I guess it depends on the actual size of the room.

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

(Anonymous) - 2024-08-07 02:31 (UTC) - Expand

That's amazing! Put a bookshelf or something in front of it and store boring stuff there like holiday decorations, but also, it's probably a good place to hide valuables when you go on vacation.

I have an old antique bench that opens, and someone could probably figure out that there are laptops are in there if they break in when we're away, but maybe not, because there's a cushion on top. I don't think most run of the mill in-and-out burglars are great at deducing the vagaries of antique furniture.

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

(Anonymous) - 2024-08-07 02:34 (UTC) - Expand

Oooh, you can make a safe room if you can find a way to close the opening when you're inside!

Safely so you don't block yourself in accidentally.

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

(Anonymous) - 2024-08-07 02:36 (UTC) - Expand

TMI

I had a hysterectomy a few years ago due to medical necessity. I don't miss periods or the agonizing pain. But I do miss the level of sexual desire I had. I definitely still have a sex drive. But I miss being turned on all the time at the drop of a hat and being able to get off really easily. Because it felt good. And made me happy. I also miss that more than half of my dreams used to be sex dreams. Mornings were just better when that was what I woke up from.

That sucks. Are you able to take hormones or is that contraindicated by the issue that led to the surgery? I hear testosterone can help, as a perimenopausal woman.

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

(Anonymous) - 2024-08-07 00:51 (UTC) - Expand

I’m sorry, nonny :( Menopause killed my sex drive and it sucks. I’m sorry you’re experiencing it early.

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

(Anonymous) - 2024-08-07 02:49 (UTC) - Expand

I'm becoming increasingly aware of how much internalized ableism I've struggled with my entire life.

Oof. Like a slap to the face, eh, nonny? Hurts to realize. I think I'm the same way except with internalized misogyny.

I don't know my sexuality. I'm definitely cisfemale and I'm not attracted to other women. I used to be very very horny in my teens, but since I've been on zoloft for anxiety (over a decade now), it's like all my inherent interest in romantic or sexual relationships is gone. I want marriage in the most calculated way because I think it will make my life better. My interest in men seems to only come as "he'd be a good provider and I think I could boss him around". Which is why I never pursue anyone (because who the fuck deserves that, I'm not a monster), and I'm a virgin in my mid-thirties. I had to have someone describe a crush to me and I've definitely never had one, even before the pills.

Am I straight? Do I just give up and say I'm ace? Am I ace if the chemicals seem to be the main reason for my lack of sexual or romantic interest?

A few thoughts as somebody who's forty and identifies as ace.

1. I don't see it as "giving up". If that's what you are, then that's what you are and there's nothing wrong with that.
2. You say you were horny in your teens but you don't say that you were actually attracted to anybody then. It's not like being ace means you never experience sexual arousal or wanting to get off.

So anyway, I understand the desire to want to be in a relationship with someone for the stability aspect. I am single too and while I'm happy with it I do find myself worrying sometimes about things like what happens if I get hurt at home and nobody finds me. Or it's a pain to have to take time off work to take my dog to the vet and it'd be nice to be able to share that responsibility with someone else. Or all the other nice things that could come from being in a long term committed relationship with someone that don't involve having sex with them. So anyway, my point: I get the feeling.

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

(Anonymous) - 2024-08-07 16:16 (UTC) - Expand

Anti-depressants can absolutely affect sex drive. They never have for me personally, but for a lot of people they do definitely lower sex drives. If you want to change that, you can talk to your doctor, there may be things that can help.

As an ace person there are lots of causes and reasons to be ace or functionally ace. Medication and/or medical/health issues is a very common one, actually

Maybe you are really dominatrix wifey material ("he'd be a good provider and I think I could boss him around")?

I have had a similar experience to you nonny. Keep feeling your feelings and no one can define who you are except yourself, including not knowing or wanting any definitions in your life.

I still question if I'm aroace. Just last week I wondered if perhaps I am straight and in deep denial due to my fear and mistrust of men.
It's a lot of asking myself what is true to me, and what is something that I may not recognize and need to unpack or take a deeper look at (am I attracted to men or do I just want the benefits that come with being in a romantic relationship? Am I still idealizing a life not suited for me?)

The world makes it really hard to know what you want, please don't be too hard yourself.

You can call yourself ace if you want to! The ace community has dealt with enough gatekeepy crap that they have very little patience for it. It doesn't have to be giving up, though, it ought to be about accepting who you are right now.

But if you used to be attracted to men, you're also allowed to still call yourself heterosexual. If you were only ever teenage horny with no particular direction and no crushes, though, you might have been ace all along - like others said, plenty of ace people are horny, they just aren't sexually attracted to anyone in particular.

Good luck finding a partner, though! I too wish "I want to get married for purely practical reasons" was more widely doable in this society.

Most of the time I can at least tolerate commercials (and sometimes even like them). However, the ad MeUndies has for their Breathe line irritates me to no end.

I want to have sex

Somebody should have sex with me

That would be great

DA
I swear to god, I did NOT post this in my sleep! ;)

nonny i support your going to bone-town hopes!

Sometimes, when I know I'm gonna be home alone for a while, I put on my only fancy dress, do my hair and makeup, set up a playlist of my favorite songs, and pretend I'm singing to a captive audience. It always makes me feel happy.

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

(Anonymous) - 2024-08-07 03:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

(Anonymous) - 2024-08-07 13:30 (UTC) - Expand

I have a small amount of action figures. They hide out near my house plants so that they can take aim at each other.

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