fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6587 ]

[ SECRET POST #6587 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6587 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

[Guardians 3]

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07. [SPOILERS for Reservation Dogs]

__________________________________________________

08. [WARNING for discussion of sexual assault]

[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #940.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This poor woman's idea of an "incredible boyfriend" is a guy who has managed to reach adulthood, but doesn't know how to wash his ass or armpits properly, or use deodorant or brush his teeth without being told to do so. He also doesn't do basic household chores unless she tells him to do it. On the bright side, he doesn't cheat on her and he buys her flowers twice a month, so he's a paragon among men!

It's possible this woman is making everything up, but... this isn't exactly groundbreaking stuff. A depressing number of men have terrible personal hygiene and are lazy bastards about household chores when they have a woman to do it for them. Remember that if you date a man, don't lower the bar on your own and end up with a giant man-baby toddler with a dirty ass and BO who doesn't do the dishes. Respect and love yourself.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1i0snjy/aita_for_worrying_that_my_boyfriend_wouldnt_be_a/m70f6wo/

I have an incredible boyfriend who I know would do anything for me. He is a great man, no social media (aside FB), doesn't entertain other women, doesn't hide his phone, faithful; a provider, a hard worker, and wants a family with me. I feel lucky to have a man like this. We've been dating for about 7 months.

However, I find myself having to ask him to do things that shouldn't have to be asked. For example, over the past few months, I've had to ask him to shower properly (I discovered he wasn't washing his ass or his armpits well enough, lol) & I would have to ask him to put on deodorant, brush his teeth, get his clothes off the floor, things I feel like I shouldn't have to ask a grown man to do. Today, these things aren't much of an issue anymore bc he has mostly corrected them. I still have to ask him if he put deodorant on or brushed his teeth, often which the answer is no...

This poor woman is wondering if she's being too demanding for asking that her boyfriend (who's constantly rooting around in his undies) wash his hands regularly, because of the stench. This shining gem of a man totally showers every day! But his crotch smells, anyway. And he doesn't do it in public, because he knows that's disgusting - this lovely habit is reserved for home, and for her. <3

Ladies, please don't date, marry or have sex with guys who can't keep their hands off their smelly, stanky junk and then refuse to wash their hands but still want to touch you. You deserve better.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1hzrqoy/aita_for_asking_my_boyfriend_to_wash_his_hands/

I've seen a few posts about this already, but from years ago. So I wanted to ask again, because I'm getting too irritated. Am I the asshole for asking my boyfriend to wash his hands after shoving them in his pants? It's mainly because of the stench. It wouldn't annoy me that often if it weren't so stinky, but when I show him something on my phone and he grabs it with that hand...🤢. He constantly has them down there. Thank God, not when company is over, or in public. But constantly at home! He always gets angry when I ask politely, thinking I don't want him around.

Unwashed crotches and asses mean infections for you. Never sleep with people like this.

tell him redd foxx says wash yo ass.

>It's possible this woman is making everything up, but...

Nope. This was my ex. When I used to visit him for two weeks at a time, he kept himself clean and presentable. When I moved in, however, the act lasted all of a month before his truly disgusting habits broke free. He expected me to fucking parent him.

Oh, *I* believe it without a doubt. But when this topic has come up on FS, one or two anons expressed a lot of skepticism because all the men in their lives didn't do such things and/or they felt that there was a lot of fiction writing for karma on reddit.

But I think most women who have a reasonable amount of exposure to men on an intimate level have met, dated, or at least heard of truly awful stories about personal hygiene and general cleanliness issues. These stories are a dime a dozen. Sadly, examples where men put effort into being clean and presentable until they start dating/get married and then decide that their new girlfriend/wife can be their personal cook and housekeeper are also very common. Glad he's an ex!

People don't express skepticism that men like this exist.

They express skepticism when someone claims it's all men.

Especially so when the person who keeps attracting these types of men, over and over, doesn't seem to have any self reflection as to why they keep attracting these types of men. But god forbid we talk about that, because it might considered be victim blaming.

People don't express skepticism that men like this exist.

They express skepticism when someone claims it's all men.

Yeahhhhh... except that in the threads I've personally witnessed, NOBODY CLAIMED IT WAS ALL MEN. And yet, somehow, the "Not All Men!!!!!!" comments came up, along with an attempt at reversing the blame back onto the victim. Classic manosphere talking points, BTW - women get hate for being too picky and having unreasonable standards for dating men (usually the same men making this accusation, funnily enough) and women also get hate for making choices that don't work out (because the troglodytes who didn't get chosen are mad).

So... nah.

https://www.zawn.net/blog/hello-youve-reached-the-not-all-men-hotline

Yeah....honestly, people have to think long term. Can you deal with having to remind your partner to take care of themselves? Like, really think it through.

Does it seem your partner is OK with slacking off on daily chores (personal as well as household)? Do you get tired of reminding them?

You need to respect yourself enough to know if this is something for you. If you can handle the routines as they are, you are good. But if you find it a little irritating or inconvenient, be honest and say you cannot handle these seemingly small gripes.
They matter to you and if your partner doesn't seem to find it something they willingly want to do on their own accord, time to prioritize yourself.
Get out before the sunk cost fallacy becomes overwhelming.

A lot of women have been trained to "look after" others, and so we tend to think other adults will pick up on our "reminders" but those other adults see the reminders as "oh she's going to remind me when I forget" and not thread together that the first time we ask should be the last time we ask.

And honestly, we shouldn't need to in the first place.

I've never been in a relationship (Aroace), but at work and with relatives, I find myself taking over projects and ordering people around without even thinking about it. When people come to me and ask for help I never hesitate. I also have a habit of simply coming in and helping when someone is struggling and they haven't even asked me.

It's been a lot of work from my end to not step in and play the mommy role so often. It sets others up for this expectation that I will do everything/take charge. And hey, it's not their fault that I didn't ask for help. They would help the second I ask.

But in reality, it's like, I shouldn't have been doing so much to begin with.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #6587 ]

The bar is in hell...

Re: The bar is in hell...

Re: The bar is in hell...

Re: The bar is in hell...

Re: The bar is in hell...

Re: The bar is in hell...

Re: The bar is in hell...

Re: The bar is in hell...

Re: The bar is in hell...

Re: The bar is in hell...