[ SECRET POST #6963 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6963 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Home for Christmas (Hjem til Jul, Norwegian Netflix series, reference to s2 e4)]


























Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 17 secrets from Secret Submission Post #994.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

General comments:

(If the thread contains spoilery/triggery content please warn/post as 2nd comment so it collapses!
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Drinking and when it's a problem

[(Anonymous)]

How bad is it if you usually start drinking early in the morning? I don't get shit-faced drunk (and I NEVER drive drunk), but do tend to drink throughout the day in secret.

Re: Drinking and when it's a problem

[(Anonymous)]

Are you doing it every day? Do you NEED to drink to feel okay? Doing it in secret is a red flag.

Re: Drinking and when it's a problem

[(Anonymous)]

Uh... if you're serious, then yes, this sounds like you have a drinking problem. Please get help before you hurt yourself or someone else.

Re: Drinking and when it's a problem

[(Anonymous)]

Why is it a secret?

Re: Drinking and when it's a problem

[philstar22]

I think when you need to do something every day, feel stressed and anxious when you can't do it, and/or when you have to hide how much you are doing it, then it might be a problem. I've run into it a few times with some things in my life where they weren't bad things, but I clearly reached a point where I was addicted.

Re: Drinking and when it's a problem

[(Anonymous)]

Given the current state of the world, it's probably a sign that you're still sane at least. Jokes aside, not great for your liver at least. Once a week is fine, once every other day is a bit too much but maybe fine if it's for a few months, everyday all day... can become a problem quick. I had people with alcohol issues at home, that's how I gauge.

Re: Drinking and when it's a problem

[(Anonymous)]

That's definitely a problem for your liver and is most likely a symptom of at least one issue in your life not being addressed.

Re: Drinking and when it's a problem

[(Anonymous)]

This definitely sounds like it could be a problem. The secrecy and that you are wondering whether it's a problem are the biggest reasons for me saying that.

I am sober (best thing for me, I don't judge others who drink) and my perspective is that there isn't a certain amount or a certain behavior that obviously crosses the line into alcoholism, it looks different for different people. One person's out of control drinking may be within another person's healthy limit. It being healthy for one person doesn't make it okay for the other, and it being a problem for one person doesn't mean the other is an alcoholic. Trying to categorize drinking habits and quantities into "okay" and "not okay" can get confusing quickly because everyone has a different situation.

So, I would advise looking at the bigger picture, like your reasons for doing it, how you feel about your relationship to alcohol, and how you feel about the idea of quitting for a few months or a year. If that idea makes you anxious, spend some time thinking about why that is, and don't be afraid to reach out to a therapist or support group if you are having trouble cutting back. Best of luck whatever you decide.

Re: Drinking and when it's a problem

[(Anonymous)]

Drinking from the morning throughout the day in secret is definitely a problem but recognizing it while you still have boundaries around how drunk you get and what you will or won't do after drinking is good, and gives you the chance to change your habits around drinking without your drinking becoming a BIG problem.

Rooting for you to make the changes you need-- not just to be able to stop the behaviors, but really hoping that feeling the need won't always weigh heavy on you. A lot of shit's fucked up in the world, it's real easy to want to check out. And only you or the people you trust to help you through it can say what the right steps are-- it doesn't have to be cold turkey if that feels too daunting or like setting yourself up to fail!

Re: Drinking and when it's a problem

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, it's a problem. Reading though the comments it sound like your on the edge of it becoming an addiction but as of now it's an unhealthy habit. You mentioned you don't drink every day, but mentioned can't first, which to me sounds like it's a forced break more often than a willing one. I am curious though, what is the longest you've gone without drinking recently?
Also your limit is getting shit-faced, which, honestly is probably more honest than most people in this situation. But that also implies that you still get fairly smashed on a fairly regular basis.
You also mentioned that "it doesn't affect your work", which again I'm reading that you do drink before/on the job but no one has mentioned it/you don't believe it's a problem. Which even if you do just take a glug before your shift, it is the basic definition that your drinking has gone too far.

And obviously the secret part. I do believe you that you think people might judge you and that's your reasoning for not doing it obviously, but then I feel the need to ask, why do you need to drink in the morning at all? Is it a distraction, self-medicating, impulsive, because 'you want to, and what can it hurt?'
That is the most important question, I think. What drive you to drink if you know you need to hide it. Why can't you wait until the afternoon?

I do so much inferring because I live surrounded by a family of drunks, straight up alcoholics, people who just live drinking, and then some. This also includes me, so know I'm not judging when I ask these questions.
In my opinion I think you need to get help before it becomes something you'll need to be saved from. Just because you don't feel all the potential consequences drinking like this can cause, doesn't mean you should wait for something to go wrong before you act on it.

Re: Drinking and when it's a problem

[(Anonymous)]

Moderate drinking is generally considered having 1 drink (~12oz of beer, ~5oz of wine, 1.5oz of distilled spirits) a day for women and 2 for men. If you drink much more than that, you'd probably fall into the heavy drinker category, which comes with a whole host of associated health issues. But even moderate drinking carries a fair amount of risk (it increases the chances of developing cancers - ethanol metabolizes into acetaldehyde, which damages DNA and other cellular components; other metabolic effects contribute to liver inflammation and fatty liver disease; it disrupts signaling in the brain related to mood, memory, and decision making; even low-level drinking can worsen anxiety and depression).

Are you an alcoholic or heading down the road to becoming one? I don't know. You would have to ask yourself how much you rely on it to get yourself through the week. If you're physically or mentally dependent on it, you should probably talk to a counselor about it.

Re: Drinking and when it's a problem

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, that's a problem. It's not drinking during the day that's the issue (there's nothing wrong with having a mimosa with brunch/a glass of wine with a nice lunch or sitting down with a beer to watch the game at 2 PM, for example), it's the drinking throughout the day (which implies that you're having multiple drinks) AND the doing so in secret. It would be just as much of a problem if you were doing that in the evening.

Re: Drinking and when it's a problem

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, you have a problem. It called an addiction.

Re: Drinking and when it's a problem

[(Anonymous)]

You noticing and questioning your drinking habits means there is something going on. Maybe ask yourself why you're drinking, if it's the alcohol itself you're drawn to or if it's the routine of the habit.

I smoke weed and I've gone through periods where I smoke throughout the day (even during my work break and on my drive home). I've accepted that smoking is a vice I'll deal with for a long time coming. It helps me deal with stress, but I know smoking in general is bad for my health.
I've gone through long periods where I don't smoke and don't crave weed (or the craving passes without much fanfare).

Addiction is different for everyone, these topics vary person to person. But I do try to keep in mind that an addict is often the last person to see that they have a problem. Be kind and patient with yourself, but don't bullshit yourself either.

Pretty bad

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds like you are what we call a "functional alcoholic."

Others are jumping on the secret part but that doesn't really get me. Its the nearly every day and starting in the morning and going throughout the day part that I find alarming.

How is your hump day going?

[(Anonymous)]

Despite the name, the least sexy day of the week.

Re: How is your hump day going?

[philstar22]

Worked from home again, ice hadn't melted. Allergies pretty bad and I just feel lousy.

Got into an argument with a guy on Facebook who decided to say I had blood on my hands because I didn't believe Obama was just as bad as Trump on immigration.

HORRIBLY :(

[kaijinscendre]

Had to get a sewer line and pipe in my basement replaced. Plumber said it would be between 4k-5k. Yesterday, he told me it would be around 5k. Gave me the bill today and it was $8000!!!! He took off $1500 because I paid cash but I am just...not in a good mood. I was hoping to get a new computer monitor and a bookcase but that won't be happening any time soon.

Re: How is your hump day going?

[(Anonymous)]

Goddamn last minute shit dumped at me at work. At least I got through it, I guess. Got a bunch of shit I need to deal with tomorrow, as it got pushed aside for the last minute shit. Hoping for quick and acceptable resolutions.

Re: How is your hump day going?

[(Anonymous)]

Average. A guy from the phone company showed up without telling us, luckily we were home. I guess they thought the work was all outside, but they needed to access some modem inside. He was super nice though, so it wasn't that bad.

Re: How is your hump day going?

[(Anonymous)]

Chilly here, though not East Coast chilly by any stretch.
Kind of depressed. Wondering if I have the spoons to go to the Democratic Socialist meeting in a nearby town tonight.

Ice

[(Anonymous)]

For people in the US, do you think ICE members will ever be punished for the things they've been doing?

I kind of want them to live in shame for years. I've seen people saying 'the cruelty is the point' for a while, and ICE agents detaining children and legal immigrants, killing people, and mocking people about it really makes that clear.

[(Anonymous)]

Bruce Springsteen and a new protest song. Figured there might be a few fans on here. :)

"Streets Of Minneapolis"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWKSoxG1K7w

Dracula

[philstar22]

Is Dracula worth seeing? I'm in a hotel next weekend, leaving computer at home, figured I'd see if there was anything in the theater worth watching. That is the only thing that looks slightly interesting, though.