[ SECRET POST #7030 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #7030 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 35 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1004.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

How do you stop yourself from (non-severe) self-destructive behavior?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not talking about, like, full-blown alcoholism or gambling addiction or getting yourself deep into unnecessary debt, but just the smaller things you do that aren't good.

Like spending money on things you don't need, spending time doomscrolling on Reddit instead of doing something more productive, watching garbage videos, wasting money on mobile games, drinking too much soda or eating too much junk food...

Stuff that isn't just AWFUL, but things that make you feel worse after you do them. Like I waste time looking at snark subreddits, and then feel bad about myself afterwards. I order something dumb online that I didn't need, didn't even want that much.

I just struggle with this a LOT. I'm going to make a list of more productive stuff to do, like even playing a video game vs scrolling through Reddit feels more productive. It's just hard for me to stop myself, I don't have enough self-control.

Re: How do you stop yourself from (non-severe) self-destructive behavior?

[philstar22]

For most of it, a small amount is okay and actually good for self care. I just make sure it doesn't interfere with my regular life.

when I'm having an urge to have more than I need of chocolate/sweets, I focus on watching funny and/or hopeful things and/or spend time with my kitty. Same with shopping online for books I probably won't actually read.

Re: How do you stop yourself from (non-severe) self-destructive behavior?

[(Anonymous)]

Step 1 is to be aware that you are doing it, so you are already there! Step 2 is to be aware in the moment that you are doing it.

I think making a list of other options is a great idea.

For me it just takes a lot of "parenting my brain" with a lot of gentle positive reinforcement. Just reminding myself in the moment that this isn't a thing that is healthy and it isn't what I really want even though it feels good in the moment. Just constant reminding that future me will feel like shit and then remind myself how much better I'll feel if I do X instead. Lots of praise for a good job. Basically I start by treating my brain like a toddler and congratulating for every little positive baby step.

I started doing this years ago and it was a huge struggle but now I've got it down pretty good. I still fall into the scrolling or disassociating trap bit never as long as I used to

Re: How do you stop yourself from (non-severe) self-destructive behavior?

[(Anonymous)]

What the other nonny said about being aware in the moment. You also need to be a little more involved in managing behavior that you know is a problem. That means setting yourself up with a fun budget and sticking to it, putting your money away in savings where it can't be easily withdrawn, cutting up credit cards if you have to, unsubscribing and avoiding websites that tempt you with shiny things, setting an actual timer for reddit activity and then switching to a more healthy activity once that timer goes off, NOT BUYING soda and junk food, providing yourself with healthier snacking alternatives, deciding to devote your spare time (that you would've spent engaging in these destructive behaviors) doing something else, such as hitting the gym, going for walks, volunteering somewhere, getting yourself out of the house and away from the internet, etc.

Since your self-control isn't strong, you need to take those advance steps and cut yourself off before you start. Easier said than done, but you'll feel better if you can get yourself out of that rut.

Re: How do you stop yourself from (non-severe) self-destructive behavior?

[(Anonymous)]

To break the doomscrolling habit I deleted all the apps for a day and planned a bunch of distractions. I carried a couple pages from a crossword book around and anytime I caught myself trying to launch the doom apps, I locked my phone and pulled out a crossword. I ended up doing it for a few days and it helped a lot! One thing I’d recommend is to leave to the snark subs before you take a break. I did it after and though I never felt like I’d get sucked back in, that horrible feeling they used to leave me with was immediate and stronger.
I didn’t download all the apps I was addicted to, just Reddit and FB messenger. I have notifications off for everything and screen time limits set for Reddit. It took me a bit to figure out the right daily limit because my mind immediately went to “less is better!” but I’m very active in my fandom there and am not trying to cut myself off from that. Dipping in a few times a day and engaging in discussion for up to fifteen minutes at a time is fine for me.

Re: How do you stop yourself from (non-severe) self-destructive behavior?

[(Anonymous)]

I ended up straight up deleting my Reddit app when I realised I was spending too much time on it. I also deleted any shopping apps I had to avoid doomspending.

I went into a deep spiral after my cat and dad's death last year that lead to a lot of unnecessary spending to fill the void and realised that I needed to pull myself out of it.

Re: How do you stop yourself from (non-severe) self-destructive behavior?

[(Anonymous)]

I lost a beloved pet and my mother in the same year. That piled on grief is so hard on you. I did the same with unnecessary spending, which took me by surprise because I am normally someone who does not do non-essential spending. Glad you were able to pull yourself out of it. And I am so sorry for your losses.

Re: How do you stop yourself from (non-severe) self-destructive behavior?

[(Anonymous)]

Think of self control is a muscle you need to work on the build. Each time you exercise it you are building it up and the activity will eventually get easier with consistency.

Re: How do you stop yourself from (non-severe) self-destructive behavior?

[(Anonymous)]

Plan a number of strategies, and then try to catch yourself doing the bad habit. Refer to strategies when you catch yourself.

For me, if I catch myself feeling bored and scrolling on my phone, I stop and ask myself if I'm doing something that's wasting my time. I think about other tasks that might need to get done (laundry, take out trash, eat, etc). I allow 5-15 minutes of scrolling, and then get at least one task (no matter how big or small) done. Once I get that one task done, I am usually back on track to do tasks I'd been dragging my feet on or legit forgot about.

It works most times.