[ SECRET POST #2137 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2137 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 015 secrets from Secret Submission Post #305.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

you FOUGHT to look pretty?? how does that even work. is my ugly ass still ugly cause i apparently have not been 'fighting' for beauty?

using your looks to get ahead in a world that is sexist and devalues women no matter their qualifications, i can't fault you for that. this secret though? is what makes you a bad person. your friends deserve someone better than you clearly.

[wldcatsprstr_14]

I think the OP means that she struggled with not being conventionally attractive by doing all the stuff society said she should to look that way. Nowhere do I see them saying that everyone who thinks they're ugly should do what she did. In fact, part of the secret kinda says that some of her friends are just not conventionally attractive no matter how they try.

[(Anonymous)]

and she feels 'pity' for them. pity is hardly any better than hate, lovely of her for the secret to start out with talk of how the world shits on unattractive and/or fat people then she goes and does the same.

[wldcatsprstr_14]

Pity isn't a bad thing in itself. Pity at least implies some semblance of care for that person. Not the flat out disregard or maltreatment that the rest of the world may have more unattractive people. Her secret implies that she wishes her friends could look the way they want to look. What in that makes her a terrible friend?

[(Anonymous)]

i'm sorry, but if a friend of mine told me they pitied me because i am unattractive i would be hurt and upset. i would not feel cared for at all. i don't need people to feel bad for me because i am ugly, it's totally belittling. and coming from a friend, someone who shouldn't care how you look to start with, would make it worse.

[(Anonymous)]

Her secret implies that she wishes her friends could look the way they want to look. What in that makes her a terrible friend?

I think that the problem here could be her friends' inability to change their looks -- i.e., they can't become taller, they can't erase scars, they can't lose dramatic amounts of weight, and so on. If that's the case, then expressing pity wouldn't help her friends; it would just remind them of their "problems." The most supportive thing to do, perhaps, would be to ignore their physical appearances entirely and instead focus on their other positive aspects.

The OP could also expand her perception of "beauty," but I'm not holding out hope!

[(Anonymous)]

She says her friends are into the fat acceptance movement. Nowhere does she say that they are struggling to look a certain way - in fact I feel like she's seriously misunderstanding what fat acceptance is about if she thinks its purpose is to make her friends feel better about themselves.

DA

[(Anonymous)]

There's an old anagram puzzle I once read where the question was "Is pity love?" And the anagram answer was "Positively."

'Course, the puzzle book was published in the 1920s. Complete with horrifying Little Sambo jokes.

I guess what I'm saying is that your understanding of pity has a history of usage as meaning a form of sympathy, but a lot of people these days (maybe most, idk) only see pity as patronizing disdain.

[herongale]

Presumably, the same way that most anyone who really works to teach themselves how makeup, hair styling, and fashion choices can be conventionally attractive, if they want. If you are moderately thin/not obese, hygienic, and don't have any major disfiguring flaws, it's really not that hard to make yourself come off as conventionally pretty, if you put in the work.

I kinda don't agree with most everything else about the secret, but I assume that learning the tricks of makeup and presentation were probably a big part of it...

[sistermagpie]

But makeup, hair styling and fashion choices can't make a person conventionally attractive if they are actually homely, can it? It can make them look like a well-groomed, fashionably, even possibly unconventionally attractive person, but unless we're talking plastic surgery, you've got what you've got to work with.

[herongale]

Depends on what you mean by "actually homely," I guess. Even drag queen (not to be confused with trans women!) can really work it a lot of the time, provided they know their stuff.

[deadtree]

idk, good hair, clothes, and makeup can do wonders. I'm pretty damned unattractive but even I look decent when I'm all gussied up. If I put no effort at all into my appearance I'm an absolute troll.

[(Anonymous)]

Makeup can dramatically change the way you look, actually. Like, to the point of changing the apparent bone structure of parts of your face. I'm kind of surprised you haven't come across any of those before/after posts on tumblr before.

[poisonenvy]

I kinda don't agree with most everything else about the secret, but I assume that learning the tricks of makeup and presentation were probably a big part of it...

Perhaps, though I was pretty homely in high school, and now I like to think I'm pretty hot. I'm sure a big part of it is that I have more self-confidence, but I also somehow lost a lot of weight out of high school and... my face changed somehow. I have no idea how to put on make-up, and I can't do much more than brush my hair/put it in a ponytail (though, not anymore, since my hair's very short now). I seriously don't even know how to use a straightener. (Me in highschool vs. me now)

Then again, some of the most (physically) beautiful people I know are overweight, or might not be conventinally pretty, so I don't really know where this idea that "If you're fat, you can't be pretty" idea comes from.

[(Anonymous)]

Hate to break it to you, but you're still pretty homely. :/

[(Anonymous)]

You look basically the same...?

[(Anonymous)]

You were MUCH more attractive in highschool, honey....

[tabaqui]

Funny, but 'homely' isn't the word that springs to mind on seeing either of those pictures. You're cute - no, not a raging beauty a la Kathrine Hepburn, but certainly not homely.

[(Anonymous)]

If you are moderately thin/not obese, hygienic, and don't have any major disfiguring flaws, it's really not that hard to make yourself come off as conventionally pretty, if you put in the work.

This...is not necessarily true. You can always make yourself look better but without fantastic plastic surgery, some people can't be considered conventionally pretty. If the OP's point was that she was pretty once she lost weight, learned basic hygiene, makeup, and hair care, then I could understand that. But there are certainly girls for whom that doesn't work or who end up a 5 while taking care of themselves.

[(Anonymous)]

The Pretty Games.

[anonymouslyyours]

She makes mentions of weight in the secret so maybe she's talking about fighting to lose it?

[kallanda_lee]

Could be.

I'd be "conventionally" attractive if I was thinner. That's literally all it would take, because I fall into the desired features range in terms of face and height. However that one thing is a really HARD thing.

That being said, there could have been other ways, ranging from extreme to less so.

She could have had plastic surgery, aggressive acne treatment, braces etc etc.

Add those tings up with a new haircut and make-up, and you rally can go from plain to pretty.

[(Anonymous)]

You're never going to be desirable as long as you're a rape apologist, sry2say.

[kallanda_lee]

Oh golly gosh, it's my long long fan ;)

Would you like an autograph?

[(Anonymous)]

Deets.