[ SECRET POST #2225 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2225 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.


__________________________________________________



13.


__________________________________________________



14.


__________________________________________________



15. [repeat]


__________________________________________________



16.


__________________________________________________



17.


__________________________________________________



18.


__________________________________________________
















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 084 secrets from Secret Submission Post #318.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - take it to comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

13. http://i.imgur.com/3aHbMg2.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

Don't have sex.

Because if you have sex, you will get chlamydia. And die.

[sabotabby]

No. When everyone accepts that not everyone fits into the same sexual/relationship mold, the world will be a much better place.

[(Anonymous)]

so does NOT make you weird! a lot of people can't stand the thought of being alone and use relationships/sexual partners as a measure of themselves - you don't do this so i'd say you're on top

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, I'm a 20-something virgin who's never been in a relationship. Somedays I really really want to be. Most days idgaf. It'll happen when it happens.

I like to think that doesn't make me odd. Just secure in myself.

[ninety6tears]

The level of actual want/need for sex among sexual people is a very big spectrum. Same with desire for relationships. Yay, everybody's different and the media sucks at portraying this as usual.

[feotakahari]

I seem to recall reading a few essays about the tendency of TV characters to have way, WAY more sexual partners than average people. Maybe it's because we're supposed to want to be them?

[intrigueing]

That just sounds like you're satisfied with yourself and just don't happen to want or need sex/relationships to complete that satisfaction. Maybe you will at some point, and maybe you won't, but unless you actually start to feel that sex/relationships is something your personal happiness will benefit from and that you feel unsatisfied without it, there's absolutely nothing weird about not wanting it.

[insanenoodlyguy]

Nah, not really. Picky isn't a crime. If your okay with it personally, the rest is just societal pressures which ultimately will fail to actually make YOU happy if you meet them only for that reason.

[forgottenjester]

I'm in a similar position, OP. So don't worry. You're not a freak. If you don't want to have sex, don't. No big deal.

[(Anonymous)]

I could have written this secret...so if it's weird, we can be weird together?

[elaminator]

If you want to have sex, have sex! (With whoever you damn well please.)

If you don't want to have sex, don't.

Both are perfectly normal.

[(Anonymous)]

wow have I been making secrets in my sleep?

I feel you OP. Sometimes I yearn for a romantic relationship, but then I realize that no irl relationship can be even a fraction as interesting/romantic as my OTPs so I just stop grieving about it and move on to draw another fluffy fanart. It's probably not healthy, but since I have no idea how to 'attract' people and since no one has ever approached me, fiction is the best stand in.

Plus, romcoms are so much more enjoyable when you have your OTP in mind instead of yourself. Seriously, the long winded discussions I have with my flatmates about their relationship issues and 'how it's not like in the movies' drive me nuts.

[(Anonymous)]

Reminds me of me, OP (though I think I'm a little younger). I'm just glad my friends have stopped suggesting "you need to get laid" as a fix for my problems (it turned out what I really needed was antidepressants. Woot)

[truxillogical]

Hands up.

I'm in the same boat, OP (heck, I didn't even fool around as a teen). I like the idea of a relationship, but, well, the last time I had a "golden opportunity" I panicked and went to ground. I mean, er...well, I just sorta...retreated, really. On paper, it would've all seemed pretty perfect, but in the moment...nah, I really didn't want any fun-touches.

And TBH, I don't know if it's the guy or if it's just me. Or, well, to be more precise, I know that I didn't want That Particular guy, but I don't know if that's also because...me.

Whatever. I get a little doubt about that, from time to time, especially what with all my friends being in relationships/getting married. But for what it's worth, I'm still pretty sure it was the right decision. Because, well...it's about what you want, y'know?

[sootyowl]

No it doesn't make you weird at all OP. I have been intimate with other people in the past, but right now I'm fine being by myself. In fact, I prefer it.

If I fell for someone, so be it. But right now I am enjoying being single. My friends don't always understand (all hooked-up or married), but this is what I want and need right now to be happy so balls to them, haha.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a dude and in your exact situation, so you can imagine that it's double freakshow time for me. People keep asking my parents and siblings why I don't have a girlfriend or when I'm getting married, why I'm nearly thirty and haven't had any children yet... (I'm childfree, so idgaf).


I just find I don't care, honestly. And as much as that comes across to most women as enticing since I'm not totally unattractive... what it always winds up with is me not caring enough to make a move, so said women lose interest pretty quickly. My guy friends see this and think I should be "rolling in tail" and my girl friends see this and wonder if I'm gay.

I'm not, and I'm not ace, I just don't want a relationship.

tl;dr If you think you're weird, OP, try being a man who thinks this way.

[maverickz3r0]

Nope, not at all.

Everyone's preferences and desire for sex/relationships is different. Anywhere on the spectrum you fall, no matter your preferences, orientation, desires, kinks, or anything else, does not make you a freak.

Maybe it is a phase for you, and maybe it's not. Either way, what's important is that you're happy with your own love life as it is. If you're waiting for the right type of person to come along, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

[el_regrs]

Whom you choose to fuck or don't fuck is an extremely personal decision, and is no one's business but your own (and the business of the person you choose to fuck, if that's your choice).

Some people are just not that type. Not everybody cares to be in long term relationships for years and years, or to go from person to person, with short periods of 'single status' in between.

For me, "because society expects it of you" will never be a good enough reason by itself. (Unless, of course, there's like 12 people left on the planet and survival of the human race depends on it... I mean, come on)

[math_camel]

Many of the above seem to have missed the part where you said you would like to have sex and would like a relationship if a golden opportunity came along. But take a moment and think, would you be happy if that golden opportunity never came along? Because that's fine but great blokes/ladies rarely fall out of the sky to land gently next to a perfectly matched partner. Maybe you're problem is you expect the other person to make the first move? That was mine. Anyway, if this is something you would like consider taking a more active role rather than just waiting.

Now with regards to your "freak" worries: According to the CDC (as I was linked to by cracked.com) the average man reports about 7 sexual partners in his life and the average women reports about 4 (which I suppose implies that men have sex with each other all the time on the DL or that men inflate their numbers while women deflate theirs). For every person out there on their tenth lover there's someone with just one (or none) to even out the average. And since 11% of unmarried adults claim 0 sexual partners you are anything but a freak, even a statistical one.

i identify with this so much

[(Anonymous)]

I get so, so tired of people telling me (as if they know!) that I probably just don't want sex and romance that much and "that's okay" when no, actually I do! I desire them a great deal! The desire is totally there! I feel attraction for people and get crushes and want to have sex with people and be in love and do shmoopy date stuff and to all of that! When I've done those things in the past, I've totally enjoyed them! I'm just not willing to take sex and romantic companionship under any and all circumstances and good opportunities have only come along a couple of times, and those didn't last long and were well-separated in time.

I haven't been very lucky so far and I don't feel any guilt or particular regret over it and that's okay. That's the part that's okay. (Having a low sex drive is okay, too, but that's not my problem.)

TL;DR: I wish people could understand that lack of opportunity does not equal lack of desire.

And it doesn't really count as an 'opportunity" if it is not appealing to you right then and there. The fact that some dude in a bar might want to bang me when I don't particularly want to have sex with a complete stranger or I don't find him attractive does not mean I had a real opportunity. "Being picky" is not necessarily an attempt to avoid sex entirely, it just means you prefer to wait for the situations you know you will be likely to enjoy because otherwise, what's the point of the whole venture?

[rivulet027]

Meh am in the same boat so to think your weird would be hypocritical. It's been years, but I'm in the middle of a really intense program and really don't have the time. It'll happen when I'm ready. *shrug* Your not weird. I am, but for other reasons.

[(Anonymous)]

I just turned 25 and I'm a virgin. I don't even think that's weird. I have a pretty low sex drive and am completely satisfied with my life. I hate how society portrays sex as a requirement. I personally don't get it and say fuck you to that mentality. I won't judge people having sex non-stop every day so why do I feel like they judge me...?

[(Anonymous)]

It doesn't make you weird! I was the same, until a few months ago. Then my opportunity appeared, I guess. I'd be happy going back to where you are, too.

[i_paint_the_sky]

In HIMYM's defence, IIRC the only character who would consider having few/one sex partners is Barney and his view on such things is a little warped, to say the least. And, of course, the show has two characters who have only had sex with each other (I agree with Lily that getting to the lobby doesn't really count).