[ SECRET POST #2363 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2363 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 118 secrets from Secret Submission Post #337.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

14. http://i.imgur.com/mfxGeB3.jpg

[baranohanayome.livejournal.com]

Er, you know, Superman is perfectly capable of pulling his punches, so to speak. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be able to handle the relatively fragile objects he deals with on a regular basis as Clark Kent--definitely would have shattered a few pens or broken some keyboards, you know? So I don't think sex would be a problem for those two, especially since he could just put Lois on top and let her take control of the situation.

[dancing_clown]

I always thought the issue was that his Super Sperm would tear through her body until it blew her brain out.

[dethtoll]

Ah yes, the old "woman of kleenex" conundrum. Since DC at least pretends to be a family company they can't show anything explicit, but it's always mostly been generally assumed -- through Clark's characterization elsewhere -- that he has full muscular control over his body. He pulls his punches because when dealing with the day-to-day freaks who threaten Metropolis, if he DIDN'T pull his punches he could knock someone's head off and send it to the fucking moon.

[cassandraoftroy]

I could see the "full muscular control" thing being complicated by orgasm -- but that could be resolved by the woman-on-top position that baranohanayome above mentions.

[kamino_neko]

Larry Niven has a lot to answer for.

MoSWoK was an interesting thought experiment, but has less than nothing to do with the actual character of Superman.

It's seriously tainted my enjoyment of his other work - which is unfair, since it's mostly people who've read MoSWoK, and apparently never read a Superman comic book in their lives, who annoy me.

[(Anonymous)]

Eh I don't know how unfair it is. I think it's not great in itself, and I think it's of a piece of his other work, and also I don't really care for Larry Niven much at all - he just seems like he has his head up his own ass far too much of the time - I mean, he's a hardcore libertarian who's independently wealth because his great-grandfather was an oil tycoon involved in the Teapot Dome Scandal, which is just annoying. And in general, a lot of his work has the kind of... overly logical, technically-correct feeling that I get from Man of Steel, Women of Kleenex, and it's not something I'm a huge fan of.

Sorry if I'm not making sense here.

[(Anonymous)]

Isn't there a recent Elseworld thing that had Lois pregnant with Clark's baby? So, "word of god" is that they manage to have sex.

[kamino_neko]

She's had his baby multiple times.

Laurel Kent (before being retconned into a Manhunter android) was their descendant (edit - who looked EXACTLY like Lois, and had powers derived from Superman's, so adoption can't be used to explain her). The current Superboy is a clone of their son from an alternate reality. In the long-running Elseworlds series Superman/Batman: Generations, they had two kids, Joel and Lara. In the recurring Silver Age Imaginary Stories about the Super-Sons (Superman jr and Batman jr), Superman jr's mother, while never having her identity revealed (so she could be Lana or Lois, or someone else entirely), was shown as a perfectly ordinary human woman.

[(Anonymous)]

I hate the MoSWoK meme SO MUCH. It seems to have just been picked up by a bunch of creepy guys who feel disempowered for some skeevy, more-than-slightly-hostile fantasy.

[insanenoodlyguy]

has it ever occured to anybody that he might not even need it? I mean, just because kryptonians have super strength doesn't mean all involuntary reactions would be magnified.

Like, if you do the reflex test on Superman, it works... exactly the same as it dos with a human. His leg kicks out subtly with very little force and you'd be perfectly safe if it touched you.

Same for his orgasms. He cums, he twithces, and it's exactly the same. Couldn't even in in a distance contest.

But okay. Science answer! He's got a red-sun radiation lamp he keeps just for this sort of thing.

[(Anonymous)]

Kryptonite condoms (I bet they are in the Silver Age somewhere, probably only slightly hinted at), or depending on continuity, magical curse on his wiener.

I'm more concerned that in that pic Lois has a reflection, but superman doesn't. Oh god, supercharged with sunlight, no reflection, penetrating eyes, can hang around in your bedroom without your knowledge....Superman is a TwiPire.

[ooh_mrdarcy]

What, does his sperm travel at the speed of sound?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't care how he does it, I'm just glad he does.

<3 Superman/Lois

[gabzillaz]

I hate the "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" nonsense.

If Superman can take a shit without breaking the toilet, he can have sex without killing a human.

[(Anonymous)]

*goes anon*

Obviously he uses the pull out technique right before he comes. He quickly zooms off to a safe distance and spurts, his sperm having time to cool down from their heated jizz speed and fly dainty into Lois's vag.

[transcriptanon]

[Picture is Superman flying and carrying Lois Lane in his arms in front of a building.]

My husband refuses to ship Superman/Lois Lane because he thinks she would get obliterated during sex.

Secret because I'm not in the Superman fandom and now he's got me thinking about how these two would pull it off.

[toshi_hakari]

Well, I have seen quite a few pics right out of the comics where they were clearly post-coitus (or right about to have sex) and Lois looks not only very healthy, but happy as well ;) So I don't think he'd kill her. Not even remotely. I'm sure he can control himself ;)

Examples (I only have these in Spanish, sadly)

[(Anonymous)]

And now I want fic that deals with this situation.

Recommendations? (I'm sure stuff like this is readily available.)

Totally OT

[(Anonymous)]

OT, but did Lois just fall off a building and Superman caught her? Because her silly little sandals didn't even fall off! I can hardly keep those type of shoes on while I'm walking on the ground (much less falling off buildings). Anyway, cute picture, but I just noticed the shoes.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm quoting Mallrats to myself right now, and I can't believe no one else (that I've seen) has referenced that movie yet.

[starry_starrrz]

The thought never crossed my mind until I read Minotaur's Supes/Jimmy stuff, then... yeah, the image of super-sperm has never quite left me.

[blunderbuss]

Yeah, no. As the famous 'World of Cardboard' speech very excellently describes, Superman has to hold himself back about 99% of the time because of the fear he'll break everything. I'm sure that applies to sex too.

[red_pill]

what the perfectly resonble comment said. also, all cunnelingus, all the time. super fast toung?

i can't believe nobody said this

[solarbird]

Have you ever considered that there's a reason it's called called <sunglasses>... a red light district?

(...seriously tho' the solution to this problem can be had for the cost of a few 850 lumen lightbulbs, I don't get the, you know, issues here...)