[ SECRET POST #2420 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2420 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 064 secrets from Secret Submission Post #346.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

11. http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/7161/mmj6.png

[(Anonymous)]

I just want to strangle whoever started the "my ovaries exploded" expression. Because my god, that sounds horrifically painful, please stop using it as an expression of attraction. But maybe that's just me because I also think it's incredibly creepy when people see somebody attractive and their first thought apparently goes to babies.

[(Anonymous)]

it is just hyperbole. Like when guys say "i wanna bust a nut."

[dreemyweird]

MTE. I get that it's metaphorical, but sometimes I'd rather people not use idioms that have creepy literal meanings. "It cracked my shit". "My eyes bled". A part of me always imagines these things really happening.

[(Anonymous)]

I also think it's incredibly creepy when people see somebody attractive and their first thought apparently goes to babies.

Alright, you know what? Don't. Don't try to color this creepy. There's a difference between finding someone attractive and being attracted. Visceral, bone-deep attraction. I'm done having babies. There's nothing left for me to want in that department, but there's a man I am so viscerally attracted to (and hopefully, him to me) that all I think about when we're together is the kind of hot, sweaty, elemental sex that leads to conception. Doesn't mean I want a baby from him, doesn't mean I get all domesticated in my womanly parts at the sight of his macho swagger. It just means the sex is THAT FUCKING GOOD because I find him that mouth-wateringly desirable.

Damn. *pulls out phone*

[kaijinscendre]

Do people use this a lot in fic? Huh. I have never noticed that. I notice many writers call everything in the genital region "the vagina". But never noticed that.

[(Anonymous)]

Whooooaaaa is that a thing?! I'm so glad I don't read much het beyond teen rating now, oh my god even just getting it bumped with the D hurts like a bitch!

[cakemage]

You and me both, OP.

[punkpinkpower]

All this really says to me is "Jesus, it's been years since I've read anything het, all the lingo must have changed for the worse"

But also the image makes me cringe because I've had biopsys of my cervix done, and that shit is painful and uncomfortable, man.

[(Anonymous)]

But bad sex scenes from evident virgins are part of the fun of fanfic.

See also:
Descriptions of the penis hitting the clit during penetration.
Confusion as to where or what the hymen is.
Semen flooding the womb.

[wordsgate]

I blame doujinshi. This is SUCH a common thing in Japanese porn for some reason.

[(Anonymous)]

Ouch, people write that? I don't remember that from my last big het ship, but that was a while ago. (Not that slash doesn't have it's own share of ridiculous.)

[(Anonymous)]

I've only seen it in bad hentai manga tbh

[(Anonymous)]

Huh. I don't think I've ever ran into that in my fandom.

Though I guess it makes sense in the 'your-dick-is-so-big-it-goes-all-the-way-into-my-womb' kind of thing? Big dicks are always the rage. I can count the number of times I've read porny fics with the leading man having an average or smaller dick on one hand.

[(Anonymous)]

Not just fanfic writers. Laurell K. Hamilton keeps writing about Anita Blake's delight in having her cervix rammed. Very very disturbing; I flip past her sex scenes more often than not now that Anita is 87% sexual Energizer bunny and only 13% adventure girl.

[(Anonymous)]

I think anatomical mistakes in fanfic are hilarious. Not quite on the same level as ridiculous flowery descriptions of certain body parts (chocolate starfish = anus?), but still pretty damn funny.

[sootyowl]

I've read this before in fic. All I can say is ow.

[nailtek]

Attention fanfic writers: Hentai is not a good reference.
(actually I had no idea fanfic people did this too, I legit thought it was just a hentai thing.)

[transcriptanon]

[Picture is the drawing of a set of partially sectioned feminine reproductive organs, like the kind that appears in school textbooks. It has signs pointing to each body part: fallopian tube, uterus, cervical canal, cervix, vagina, ovary.]

I want to strangle whoever convinced so many fanfic writers that cervical penetration is common and pleasurable.

[(Anonymous)]

ha, I remember seeing that a lot on crappy anime fics and other fandoms in adultfanfiction.net

lately I've been seeing it in appropriately sort of horror like fics, though. so, uh, some sectors of fandom are learning??

[(Anonymous)]

I suspect these are the same ignorant people who're teaching the populace that a vagina is typically exposed in an upskirt photo. Poor, overlooked labia.

(Yes, most upskirts are nasty and wrong. Not the point.)

[(Anonymous)]

TMI:

Hi, I'm a woman. Hi, I like that in real life. Hi, I know it's rare, but for some women, it really, really is absolutely fucking awesome, thank you very much.

(Doesn't excuse how often it's used in fic and hentai, though.)

[(Anonymous)]

All I have to say to this is OW.

[(Anonymous)]

All I hear is, "Quit having fetishes I don't enjoy."

[dazzledfirestar]

Obviously this is the het equivalent of slash's NO LUBE REQUIRED anal sex scenes, yes?