case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-10-03 07:20 pm

[ SECRET POST #2466 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2466 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Late day at work, sorry.

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 010 secrets from Secret Submission Post #352.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - omgiknowthem ], [ 1 - troll ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
forgottenjester: (Default)

Re: sexuality without labels

[personal profile] forgottenjester 2013-10-04 04:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I hope it's because I'm funny. I can dream.
forgottenjester: (Default)

Re: WTNV

[personal profile] forgottenjester 2013-10-04 04:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh I forgot about that rule.

You know, I'm starting to think you just have a thing for mustaches and are confining the artist because of your kinks. YKINMKATO but you need to stop fetishizing mustache wearers. They're people just like you and me. They need to be treated equally.

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 05:04 pm (UTC)(link)
AYRT

This wasn't a literal example... just saying, it's not like grocery stores are exactly known for their wide and intense literary selection.

+Infinity

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 05:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes!

I am probably never going to publish anything because I put too much of my heart into my stories to entrust them to the general public, but I will be writing as long as I am physically capable of it.

Regardless of what anyone else does or says.


(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 05:31 pm (UTC)(link)
But there's something to be said for "Either suck it up or do something about it."

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 05:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh anon this happens to me all the time, this week in fact. I always say thankyou if someone pays for me, but find it so difficult. If you keep harping on they get annoyed, they've made the nice gesture of paying for me and if I try and force money on them it's like I've taken it away from them, but I do feel really awkward and don't know what to say, usually I just go into effusive thankyou mode. I always try and pay for them the next time if I can, but sometimes that's difficult as well.

Re: Color Test

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 06:10 pm (UTC)(link)
3
halberdier: A Photograph of Chateau de Chillon at sunset with purple sky and lac. (Quote: "Pro"crastination)

[personal profile] halberdier 2013-10-04 06:35 pm (UTC)(link)
This is just like the Father Ted episode, Entertaining Father Stone. Maybe OP should watch that and have a laugh at the situation :)

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes I can make small talk for Britain, and am very gregarious at parties, but suffer from very bad social anxiety. I feel shy and worry that I look terrible, worry about everything I say, often tossing and turning thinking I've been a dick or offended someone, sounded stupid etc. I've talked to other people like me, it's kind of the reverse of the way introverts describe themselves, silence makes me uncomfortable, so I have to fill it. Doesn't mean I'm not feeling panicked about it.
redseeker: (bows)

[personal profile] redseeker 2013-10-04 07:00 pm (UTC)(link)
That's possible, but I think it's more likely that the person is simply a rude, graceless person who was all too happy to take a few days' holiday letting someone else pick up the cheque /: OP says they paid for food, trips, activities, and their guest was all too happy to allow them to pay for everything.

If someone is very worried about projecting the wrong impression, I would have assumed they would make an extra effort to be polite. That's what I do - I don't think I have social anxiety, but I am very shy, and aware of coming across the wrong way. I think irl I am awkward, but I always try to be polite to try to make up for it. Tone can sometimes be hard to get right, but it's possible to imitate the ways other people speak and sort of 'fake' it so it sounds right...

Also, the person apparently wasn't so terrified they didn't travel all the way to the house of someone they've never met in person before to stay for days (I have done that and it is terrifying).

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh yes it really is! Father Ted applies in most situations.

Re: Please!

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 07:13 pm (UTC)(link)
http://fauxkaren.tumblr.com/post/59434839204/jon-snow-theres-a-couple-of-things-but-it-can

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 07:15 pm (UTC)(link)
she's a bully and a hypocrite. plagiarism is the least of her shit.

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 07:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I hate to say this, but I think talent has something to do with it. There are shitty people who make lots of money and are successful. Look at Michael Jackson. Yes people might hate them, and MJ's work wasn't my cup of tea, but you have to acknowledge that they are really good at what they do. Polanski's films are really very good, for the most part.

It seems that people are somehow offended by CC because she was a bully and unpleasant etc, and her writing is shit, yet she still made lots of money out of it. I suspect we wouldn't see these secrets if the writing was winning her literary prizes.

Re: Color Test

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 08:01 pm (UTC)(link)
they look that way to me too, but i have low brightness in my monitor
pantasma: (Default)

Re: sexuality without labels

[personal profile] pantasma 2013-10-04 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Since I'm still laughing the next day, you're just that funny. Feel de lohvs.

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 08:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Actually, several of his plays were panned when they came out. Yes, he gained a great deal of fame when he was writing stuff for the King's Men, but he faded back into obscurity very, very quickly. His later plays were basically ignored. Shakespeare appreciation is really an eighteenth-century thing.

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Huh, the more you know.

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 08:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Pointing out that she's done bad things =/= harassing her.

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I can't say I'm surprised by the amount of people talking bad about the OP's friend in these comments. It makes me not want to leave the house, to be honest...

If the details in this post were slightly different and the time frame seven years ago, I'd be asking if this had been made about me. It was my... fourth maybe?, time visiting my friends, and my depression and anxieties had all been getting worse (and have become even more so since). I'd been working a solid 40 hours a week every week prior to my vacation which had ramped up my stress and social anxiety bad to begin with, and that summer I ended up feeling very... out of place. I was overly quiet and awkward, and had difficulty getting into activities.

The two friends I was visiting were (if memory serves anyway) in the beginning stages of a romantic relationship, and we didn't have all of the same interests. We were slowly drifting apart online as well, but I hadn't realized how much until that summer. Their favorite show was one I had no interest in, and the one friend I still really, really clicked with couldn't visit that summer, and one friend's sister was away as well (she was extremely considerate of me, and would actually tell people to be quiet if she realized I had something to say but because I have anxieties about interrupting people I couldn't find a place to say it. That's IF my mind was working fast enough to even keep up with the conversation).

I was one of those people who almost never said please or thank you, too. Was. The friend I was technically 'visiting' (i.e. we were going to her house) mentioned it to me... probably the second year I was there? And I've been working on it since, but sometimes it still slips my mind. I'm not good at making things habit, even after many years, and my memory is abysmal. Sometimes people just need to be told things to realize they aren't doing them.

Anyway... Throughout the summer we'd make plans for future summers, and then my friends would slowly edit me out of them, talk about just them doing those things. There were times I'd wake up (I was sleeping in a separate room) and they'd be gone, having left to do something. They assumed I wouldn't be interested and would say no. Even if that was the case, it hurt to not be asked. Sometimes they did things I would have said yes to.

And the thing was, it's not like I wasn't having fun that summer. I was. I enjoyed myself, even if my depression and so on were screwing with me, and my friends and I weren't clicking as well as before. The board games we played, the events we went to, they were all really enjoyable, and I was looking forward to going back. But after I got home that summer, they told me that they didn't want me to come back, that I was 'too depressing'. I didn't really know how to handle that, so I stopped talking to them... I still don't know how to handle that, to be honest. It hurts less now, because the feeling of friendship has faded somewhat and it's been years since I've talked to them. But it does still hurt.

I'm... worse now, admittedly. My anxieties are worse, to the point I have panic attacks nearly every day. When my depression takes over, it really takes over and I don't leave my bed much. None of that is my friends' fault, just the natural progression of my problems.

But that... so many people would jump on the OP's friend, without having any details about why they acted the way they did while they were there... It all makes me very wary of becoming friends with people. I've been burned a lot by people not understanding that I have issues, or not believing I have them. I'm more open about my problems than most people are, too. I'll talk about it all at the drop of a hat, unless someone's uncomfortable with it.

But I know there are a LOT of people who will never let on that they're having problems, for whatever reason (anxiety, embarrassment, too personal, etc). Perhaps the OP's friend is one of them. Not saying they are, but not everyone is 'oh my god, a terrible friend!!!1!11' just because they don't act like you'd expect a normal person to act.

Re: Color Test

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 08:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I wish the test had some better data on how well people score - averages or a bell curve or something. Telling me the high and low scores isn't helpful or interesting because of course there will be people who have perfect color vision and people who have very, very bad color vision. Where most people fall is the important point.

Re: Wow @ all you whiteknights

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow @ YOU for calling everyone trying to give possible explanations for the OP's friends 'white knights'. Trying to give someone the benefit of the doubt and explain why they MAY have acted the way they did is not white knighting. Not everyone is claiming that they DEFINITELY have SA or other issues. But the OP's friend deserves the benefit of the doubt. EVERYONE does, when we know absolutely nothing about their side of the story. You saying that it's 'white knighting' to try to give reasons to that person implies that you seem to think they they're just a bad friend and don't deserve to be defended at all. They do.

Yes, maybe all the people saying SA or other issues are well off the mark and the OP's friend is just a bad friend. But we don't actually know that and the people telling the OP to drop them like a bad habit are significantly WORSE than the people 'white knighting' for the friend. At least the 'white knights' are trying to give the OP possible explanations and help them keep that friendship. Yes, the best way to do that is for them to talk to their friend and try and understand why they acted the way they did. Yes, the OP has the right to be upset (especially about the money thing), not everyone is saying they don't.

We've been shown no actual hard data to show that the OP's friend is an asshole and/or a bad friend. Assuming that they 100% are is dickish and intolerant of other people. A lot of people are probably jumping to the OP's friend's defense with the idea of SA or some other anxiety because the OP doesn't mention the possibility at ALL. They just say their friend was a shitty guest. Yes they were, but there may be a reason behind that. They DON'T deserve to have everyone dogpile on them and call them a shitty person just because of what the OP told us.

And yes, I'm sure a lot of people see themselves in the OP's friend. It makes their opinions, ideas, and personal experiences no less valid.

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Holmes's too arogant to ask for help, imo.

Re: Color Test

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 09:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Or a median, since it looks like scores are going to have along right tail which could really throw things off.

Re: WTNV

(Anonymous) 2013-10-04 09:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I like the idea of a darker skinned Cecil, but this shit is rude.

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