fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2822 ]

[ SECRET POST #2822 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2822 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Psycho-Pass]

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03.

[LoadingReadyRun]

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04.

[Ella Masar and Erin McLeod (NWSL)]

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05.

[Hadaka Shitsuji]

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06.

[Richard Armitage]

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07.

[Arrow]

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08.

[Stargate SG-1]

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09.

[Outlander]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 027 secrets from Secret Submission Post #403.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I believe a woman's body, a woman's choice HOWEVER, when it comes to child support if the man doesn't want to have the child and the woman is like, "My body, my choice," I think the man should have the right to not be bound to paying for a child that he had no choice in keeping. I think that is fair.

Yup! I think men should be able to opt out of all parental obligations if they want. It takes two to tango and all that.

Alternatively, if the guy wants it and the woman doesn't, can she carry the child, have him pay all the costs of pregnancy/childbirth, then hand it to him afterward and peace out?

I'm not sure about the medical bill thing, but she can, by law, totally surrender her parental rights and peace out.

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(Anonymous) - 2014-09-25 01:41 (UTC) - Expand

da

(Anonymous) - 2014-09-25 07:40 (UTC) - Expand

What
the
fucking
FUCK?!

Seems pretty straightfoward to me. If everything is your choice regarding a pregnancy, then all the consequences are yours, too. The good guys will step up, the dickbags won't. And that's the reality of "nothing you say or do matters."

Fortunately for you, there are laws that say men have to pay for their children, whether they wanted them to be born or not.

Or, depending on the state laws that say you have to pay for ANY child (even if it is not yours) if your name is on the birth certificate and you don't contest it within a short amount of time, you can enjoy years of child support. :D

Or if you are raped by a woman, you TOO will have to pay child support if she gets pregnant. Because, not only should you suffer the trauma of rape, you should pay for that rape for 18 years. Serves you right for being raped!

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(Anonymous) - 2014-09-25 00:29 (UTC) - Expand

Eh, I only agree if the woman, say, said she was totally on the pill and woops she wasn't. If he was stupid enough to go in knowing full well that unprotected sex was unprotected, then he has to take responsibility for it. Because if a guy could just say, "Whoa, no abortion? LOL BYE BB" then that pretty much would put all the consequences on the woman.

The idea that one parent can make a decision unilaterally that bears serious consequences for the other is an inevitable byproduct of the way that we organize this shit at present. And I honestly don't see how it's reasonable to accept that for one of the parents but to find it unacceptable for the other. If you're fine with the one, you have to be fine with the other.

The problem here is that the situation is inherantly unbalanced and always will be. If both genders were capable of child bearing, or children were all grown in tanks or something, even treatment could be completely applied.

As is, each gender has a completely different different experience in a pregnancy. That isn't going to change anytime soon and while the present system certainly has flaws, I don't think you'll ever see any fundamental difference in "how we organize this shit" and it's pointless to demand it.

But if the woman has all the power in the choice then she should have all the consequences. In the end, it is her body and her choice to have a child. Not the man's. Therefore, she should have deal with the full consequences of her choice.

That is a serious oversimplification that ignores the possibility of power dynamics, dubious consent and outright rape, etc.

Side question: Do guys who commit rape and get women pregnant have to pay child support? Because they should.

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(Anonymous) - 2014-09-25 06:23 (UTC) - Expand

The problem there is one of proof, though. Is it like, one conversation (while she's pregnant mind you) of her saying, I'M KEEPING THE BABY AND I HATE YOU, GET OUT OF MY LIFE FOREVER!? Or is it more like, legal documents would have to be signed? Even in the event of legal documents being signed, I think there should be some sort of settlement fee. Say $500 or $1000 to contribute to a minor amount of the costs the woman will have to shoulder.

At any rate, I think this is a bit of a stupid argument, because if a man is going to have sex, and in particular unprotected sex, he should have to accept the consequences as much as the woman does.

I think there should be legal documents involved. If you don't want to support the child, you can sign a paper absolving yourself of all rights to the child. So, no later chances of returning to that child's life and wanting to be a father. You signed your rights away because you didn't want to pay, you don't have any legal say in that kid's life after he is born.

If they have to bear the consequences of whatever decision the woman makes (beyond child support) then they should have a say in the decision. I absolutely, absolutely, absolutely cannot see any way in which you can justly give the woman free choice in what to do with the baby (which, for reference, I believe women should have) and at the same time demand that the man help raise the kid if she does keep it.

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(Anonymous) - 2014-09-25 00:21 (UTC) - Expand

I agree, provided he also gives up any and all legal rights to the child.

Oh, I agree on this too.

Want to be a father? Support the child. Don't want to be a father? Sign away your rights, walk away and don't return.

Same. People (offline) get pissed at me when I've said it, but I totally agree. If the woman has the choices of abortion or adoption to not have to be responsible for a child, then the man should have that choice as well.

The man has the choice not to have sex.

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I agree. Birth control can fail on both sides, so even if a guy is responsible and uses a condom, shit can still happen sometimes.

Sorry, that's crap. He chose to have sex. Pregnancy is a possible consequence, and he should have to live with those consequences too. She has to carry the child, so she gets to make the choices in that regard. Once the child is born, if she wants to keep the pregnancy, he should be responsible for the person he helped to create.

This is either some fucking up thinking or the best countertroll i've ever seen.

That's actually some MRA type shit. You know, the whole financial abortion thing they talk about?

I see a lot of replies to this comment weighing the "fairness" between men and women but no concern for the child involved. So, let's say a woman wants to keep her pregnancy despite the man not wanting to be a father, that kid should live in poverty or with half support...? Child support is for the CHILD, not a petty back and forth between the parents. Women carry the pregnancy, so they get an extra choice of keeping it or not. Men's choices end when the sex ends, that's just the way it is. Anything else would be taking your anger for women out on an innocent child. Pay up if you nut up.

"So, let's say a woman wants to keep her pregnancy despite the man not wanting to be a father, that kid should live in poverty or with half support...?"

THAT would be one of the factors the woman should have to weigh when deciding weather to keep it. The child's wellbeing is on the shoulders of the person CHOOSING to bring it into the world.

"I'm keeping it"
"I don't want to be a father"
"Will you support me anyway?"
"No"
"Then I need to take that into account before I make my decision" / "Tough shit"

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