[ SECRET POST #2823 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2823 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #403.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

Was just going to ask my question, figured to make a general thread ofr others.

Cat in heat, can't get spayed yet

[(Anonymous)]

So, our kitten is in heat for the first time. She is an indoor cat, so no change of getting preggo. BUT she can't be spayed until November. What can we do to calm her down and pref make her stop rubbing on things?

Re: Cat in heat, can't get spayed yet

[stabbystabbyzebra]

This is going to sound completely awful and I understand if you don't want to do it. But...you can get her off from time to time with a q-tip. My cat went into heat twice before we could get her spayed (long story). First time, we suffered through it. Second time, we broke down and used the q-tip. We actually slept that time.

Re: Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

Is it possible to tell if you are singing on key with a song without any prior voice training, access to instruments to tune your voice to notes, or just no knowledge of how to sing in general?

Re: Advice Column

[herpymcderp]

Nope.

Re: Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

Uh... yes? Sort of? I mean, if you're singing along to music and can't tell whether or not you're in key or off key, that suggests you don't have a very good ear for pitch, but you can try asking someone else.

Re: Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

You can know for sure if you were born with perfect or near perfect pitch. But the likelihood of that is not good.

However, if you just have an average ear you will probably be able to tell if you're at least significantly off key.

But if you know you don't have that great an ear, I'd err on the side of 'no' to the original question.

Re: Advice Column

[el_regrs]

Uh... download a metronome app if they make one? Set it to the beat of the song you want to sing, then record yourself singing the song to the metronome. Afterward, compare the real song with your vocal recording... either play one and then the other, or if you want to be silly, play both at the same time and see if they match up, pitch-wise.

Re: Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

Not so much advice, but the past few months have been hard (steamroll of shit really), and I haven't had a lot of patience for other people's problems online if they keep talking about them. It's not that I lack empathy, but I want so badly for fandom to be my safe space, and it kind of can't be if all anyone wants to talk about is how much their lives also suck. Then I feel bad for not being a better friend. I just don't want to think about shit in my happy place.

Re: Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

I can understand getting tired of this, especially if people keep going on about the same problems all the time and never do anything to help themselves.

Re: Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

How do I stop watching kinky porn?

Re: Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

You must acquire a taste for Heterosexual Sex in the Missionary Position.

Re: Advice Column

[herpymcderp]

Why the hell would you want to stop?

Re: Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

I read that as kitty porn. Time for more coffee.

Re: Advice Column

[kallanda_lee]

a) you don't
b) you basically find something else you're really into that still falls under vanilla somewhat and fap to that a lot.

Re: Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

Is the kinky porn a problem somehow? Is it interfering with your work or personal life?

Re: Advice Column

[kallanda_lee]

I'm not sure there's even an answer to this, but how o you deal with being an adult while not feeling like an adult? And basically, adding to hat - with realizing you need other people to sort of help ou stay alive because you suck at taking care of yourself?

Re: Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

That's a tough one, but I find it helps to remember that nearly everyone feels that way sometimes, even though you don't realize it. I also find it helpful to try and pick up more Responsible Adult skills, whether it's learning how to cook, change my own car tire, organizing my bank statements, whatever. Anything that's practical and allows you a little more control over your life.

Re: Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

This might help:

Think of something that your parents did that you don't know how to do. It might be something like getting car insurance.

Then, make it your goal for the month to research it until you feel you reasonably understand it, even if you don't need it right at the moment.

Rinse and repeat for additional skills.

I taught myself some useful tricks that way, especially regarding automobile care.

Re: Advice Column

[herpymcderp]

Well the first one isn't all that hard. As Nike says: just do it. As soon as you remember you need to do something, don't take another moment to think about it. Don't give yourself any time to think at all; just start it right that second.

You can come up with plenty of reasons not to do a thing if you allow yourself to, but if you just engage in a boring task instantly without giving yourself the time to internally whinge about how you don't want to or you could be doing something else, after a while it just kind of becomes automatic. And you'll find that once you engage in a task it's actually not as bad as you thought it was going to be. A lot of dumb menial chores give you time to think about other things or a chance to relax your brain from a long day of mental activity.

Sometimes in order to get something done it's good to try to find a sense of achievement in some way. I don't particularly like cleaning, but I really like the sense of pride I get when I know my house is spotless. I don't really like writing papers, but I love it when I know I've written something worthwhile or important. That kind of thing.

Adult stuff is dumb but necessary. Luckily it doesn't come with the requirement of feeling adult.

Re: Advice Column

[siofrabunnies]

I have to set reminders on my phone. It just takes a long time for certain habits to stick.

For the second part, I'm also in the same boat. Eventually, I just accepted I can't do everything on my own, and that's okay. I have my husband (it works with anyone, though), and we cover each other's weaknesses. That makes it a lot easier to swallow, at least.

So, I guess, feel good about your strengths, work on your weaknesses and try not to feel bad about having them, because everyone does.

Re: Advice Column

[el_regrs]

I don't feel like much of an adult either, despite being "on my own."

As much as I try the independent thing, and feel like anything less is unacceptable, I've also realized at some point in my life, I will need help from somebody, even if I don't particularly want it. But it's a lot better than feeling stranded or abandoned because no one around you will lift a finger or listen when you ask for help.

Just do what you can, and do the best that you can. And every now and then, don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone.

Worried I might have an std

[(Anonymous)]

Last Friday I had unprotected oral sex with a girl. A couple days later I had a fever for a little bit and a couple days ago my gums started being sore, and a few cold sores showed up around my mouth. I want to get tested now, but the antibodies take a few weeks to show up and it's been less than a week. And in conclusion, I'm freaking out.

Re: Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

If I masturbate while sick, will the vibrator get the germs of my illness on it?

Re: Advice Column

[(Anonymous)]

A friend mine wants to fix me up with a guy she's slept with in the past. She's been kind of evasive about the exact details of their relationship but as far as I know they had a one night stand and that was the extent of it because they're "not compatible" (though I don't know why). The first time she mentioned it I brushed her off, but she keeps bringing it up and I don't know how to answer. She's in a...fragile state of mind right now, due to other unrelated stuff, and I don't want to just come out and be like "no, I'm not going out with him, that's fucking weird!" because it might upset her.

What do you guys think? Would you find it weird if a friend wanted to set you up with someone they had a one night stand with? I'm just not quite sure what to think.