[ SECRET POST #2934 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2934 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Sorry about that, working late again.

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 020 secrets from Secret Submission Post #419.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

03. http://i.imgur.com/sft0mC6.png

[kallanda_lee]

I wouldn't have minded it so much if it was actually well-written. But it's just one cliché upon another.

[(Anonymous)]

That would kind of make the character even more useless though since the whole point to her was so there'd be an actual female presence in the movie since the original books were very much male centered.

Not that an inclusion of a woman just to give her a love triangle plot is GREAT but I don't think making her a man would have helped the movie at all.

[cbrachyrhynchos]

It's a shame, because she almost rose above being the token female character, only to fall back into all of those problems in H3.

[lb_lee]

Well, if that happened, we'd never have to worry about the energy crisis again. Because I'm pretty sure Tolkien would rotate in his grave fast enough to become a supply of perpetual power for the world over forever after.

[(Anonymous)]

... or manybe he would finally realize that it was fonally "safe" for him to come out of the closet?

[(Anonymous)]

shhhh don't tell him about all the erotic fanfiction

[sarillia]

I'm sorry, all this secret has done is reminded me that I really want to see dwarf women with beards who are taken seriously.

[cbrachyrhynchos]

Well, apparently animated Rat Queens is in progress. Violet just shaves because she's a hipster.

[(Anonymous)]

Female dwarves are indistinguishable from male dwarves, both culturally and physically, in Discworld. Even after it becomes socially acceptable to identify as a female dwarf, those who come out still have beards.

Wearing more feminine chainmail is one thing. Shaving off the beard is an entirely different matter, and suggesting it is a good way to get a battleaxe shoved somewhere painful, and may even be classed as suicide in Amkh-Morpork (where a lot of idiotic actions are classed as such).

[lunabee34]

http://archiveofourown.org/works/855528/chapters/1637607

Sooooooooooo awesome.

[(Anonymous)]

In my AU headcanon, all the dwarf heroes in The Hobbit are closeted women, it's just that Bilbo doesn't know (and Gandalf isn't telling).

[(Anonymous)]

As others have said, it would have defeated the whole point of her inclusion to make her a male character. Though after I defended her role in the second film, I honestly don't know why they bothered with the third.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, a canon gay relationship in a big franchise like that would have been huge.

[(Anonymous)]

Pretty much, yeah. It probably still would have been boring and badly written, but at least it would have served an actual purpose.

[(Anonymous)]

If they'd followed the same narrative, it would have made exactly zero difference to me either way. I found the star-crossed lovers bullshit stupidly out of place and poorly developed, and it would have been just as stupid if they were all guys, except I'd be getting more crap for not liking it. If they had to wedge the romance in there anyway, it would have made better sense in the context of the larger story for Tauriel and Kili to both be killed (preferably offscreen) and have Legolas find the bodies after the battle.

As far as female representation goes, I'll take the snarky townswoman over Tauriel. Or, hell, they could have made Smaug a female dragon. It's not like the dragon's gender had any direct bearing on the plot.

[lb_lee]

BUT WHAT WOULD BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH DO THEN?

[(Anonymous)]

I will forever be bitter that it was Bard's son who got to help him shoot the arrow, and not his OLDER(-looking, at least) sister.

[iggy]

Yeah because The Hobbit didn't have enough dudes already or anything.

(maybe if they'd made Kili female instead though. Some genderbending of the main cast would have been an excellent choice.)

[gaffsie]

Sounds a bit hypocritical, anon. Not that I'm any better: I find the idea of Kili/Tauriel a lot more appealing than the execution of it, if that makes sense. I groaned at "because it was real" like everyone else, and now I still find myself seeking out fanart and fanfic for this pairing.

[lentils]

You know what, at least you're honest about it. That gets you points in my book.

(For me, she was the highlight of what was otherwise a fairly dull third movie. Except for the girl who hadn't gotten the memo about Thorin's death and wailed "noooooooo" in the silent theater, that was pretty damn funny.)

Transcript

[(Anonymous)]

Image: A photomanip of Tauriel from the Hobbit, with a strand of her hair over her face looking like a moustache.

Text: I wouldn’t have minded the oc/kili romance if she’d been male instead.

[luxshine]

And I would've hated her MORE had she been male and in a romance with Kili, because it would've been the final nail on what made Legolas and Gimli's relationship (however you chose to interpret that Legolas REFUSED to go with his kin if Gimli wasn't allowed with him in the gray shores) so special in Lord of The Rings.

I've never hated a canon sue as much as I hate Tauriel.

[(Anonymous)]

Don't you mean "OC/OC-with-a-canon-name-slapped on romance"?

[mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com]

Nope nope nope! Even if she was male I probably wouldn't have liked it because it wasn't Boromir! I have my OTP and that's that!