[ SECRET POST #2965 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2965 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 056 secrets from Secret Submission Post #424.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

10. http://i.imgur.com/CchCPdh.jpg

[feotakahari]

This is the second least throat-jumpy place I post. (Least is Mythic Scribes.) I don't know what comments you're referring to, but without context, I'm not sure I buy that you're an innocent victim who did nothing to piss people off.

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, I mostly agree, but it does happen sometimes. Not in the sense of people being completely innocent victims, but there are times when the reaction can be... disproportionate.

[(Anonymous)]

I hope this secret is a troll and there isn't someone who actually thinks that FS should go away because they haven't had the brilliant idea of just leaving. It's not like it's a hot show all over Tumblr that they can't avoid or anything

[(Anonymous)]

I've seen it happen a lot here.

It's one of those things that feels very different when it happens to you than when you see it happen to somebody else.

The OP didn't claim to be an innocent victim as far as I could tell. That was your interpretation.

[(Anonymous)]

Normal Reactions:
"I wish people werent such assholes"
"Maybe I should leave"

Not a Normal Reaction:
"I ~almost~ vindictively hope the whole place goes away just to suit me and everyone else stops having fun and loses their community whether they like it or not, including all the people who have done nothing to me, while I don't take any responsibility for myself and keep coming back"

If this is indicative of how you normally react to things, I somehow doubt your comments are simply "misunderstood"

[(Anonymous)]

SA

like OP I sympathize with comments getting misinterpreted and shit but there is pretty much no way to misinterpret you ~almost~ wishing a whole community goes away instead of you actually doing something and leaving it as anything other than vindictive and selfish.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm kinda growing tired of this place too. Most of the named regulars I don't care for and the ones I do have left. I don't care about most of the secrets anymore. Posting speed's slowed down so mindless f5ing isn't as worthwhile. General comments just feels like a rehash after rehash. I don't mind the trolls honestly, because they spice up the place.

It feels bad because I've been an extremely active poster and secret submitter and I just can't bring myself to care about this place any longer. Only thing keeping me here is habit.

[elaminator]

I'm sorry you've had a bad experience. (Unless you're the kind of person who goes around telling others to kill themselves, but it doesn't sound like you are.) The comm has been a bit slow as of late and even when it isn't, there's never any guarantee that you'll get replies. (And I feel like that's not altogether uncommon?)

I know things aren't perfect here (are they anywhere?) but I still feel like this is one of the nicest places on the net. Sometimes people overreact (which, yea, sucks) but that's a part of life; there's not much to be done about it.

Anyway, I love this place so I'll probably keep coming here as long as others do, but you're allowed your opinion. Still, if this place bothers you so much maybe you should take a break; see if you miss it or feel better without it.

[kallanda_lee]

I think I read a comment by you in GC a few days back? Was that you? People can jump on things here, but usually they're nice (and most comments get ignored, I think, unless on controversial topics).

[(Anonymous)]

eh, I think understandable that when someone feels rejected by a "community", they kinda want them to break up or lose significance. it's an ego thing.

OP- I don't know what your case is, but maybe you should drop the "this is just my subjective opinion" part?

otherwise it COULD give the feel of expecting opposition before there's any reason to, which some people react badly to (on the other hand some assholes always cover themselves under the pretense of "just my opinion").

try make your comments more casual without the disclaimer, throw in a joke.
that's a vague guess though.

and last but not least, if you can't help coming back, try to create some positive experience for yourself. f!s is still big enough to attract a spectrum of people. see which kind of threads work, post some baby animal pictures, or pictures of your pets. make a funny or weird secret!

I know it's no interesting discussion, but it'll help you feel less bitter and rejected (if you get some reaction)

[(Anonymous)]

I know it probably feels personal when you're the one being ignored, but honestly, if you take a look at most threads, a big proportion of comments don't get answered. It's only a few, usually contentious comments, that spawn any kind of back-and-forth. If I comment on three or four secrets on a given day, maybe one of them will be replied to. A lot of the time, the comments I make are just me sharing a similar/different experience to OP and nothing that would really generate replies anyway.

If you're feeling ignored because people walk away from talking to you, and it's happening often, then maybe you do need to take a look at how you're phrasing things (just adding "in my experience" to insults really doesn't get you a free pass to be an asshole). But just being ignored as in your comments not getting a reply is kind of par for the course for a comm like this. Not all comments spark any discussion and that's ok.

[(Anonymous)]

yeah I know it's annoying when a comment gets ignored or someone takes it personally but it's probably happened to all of us and we've dealt with it without wanting the whole place taken down. I say just pack up and leave if the place is getting to you. I'm on the verge myself. It seems like all this place is nowadays is the same old rabid screaming about how terrible tumblr is and it's just getting tired.

[(Anonymous)]

Looking at these comments sounds like I need to just take a break. It's so hard to tell you're in an awful community if you have few comparisons.

[(Anonymous)]

You... don't think it's a little weird and not entirely healthy that instead of just quietly leaving a community you no longer enjoy in search of one you do, you'd prefer that NOBODY enjoys it, simply because it doesn't meet your needs?

Don't let bitterness eat you away from the inside, OP. The internet's a huge place, there's no need to be quite this spiteful about the portions of it that don't suit you.

[fingalsanteater]

I'd be sad if fandom secrets faded away. Maybe you should take a break if it others comments are upsetting you. I know some posters who have.

[(Anonymous)]

In the 5-6 years I've been coming to FS, I've been misunderstood a number of times, I was once accused of trolling when not only was I not but I couldn't even fathom how my comment could be interpreted as trolling, and I've been angrily disagreed with a few times (although not told to go and die in a fire or anything, at least not that I've seen).

Still, the vast majority of comments I've made have either garnered no response (which I don't see as being ignored, since most of those comments were not made with the expectation of getting attention or starting discussion, and since I mostly post anon, there's no way I can be systematically ignored) or were greeted with positive reactions. It's not the nicest comm I've ever been in, but it's probably the nicest one that also still has any decent level of activity that I've come across in the past decade, which ought to tell you something about how nasty and weird - not to mention less community-oriented - online fandom has gotten recently.

[sarillia]

I've actually been surprised by how nice people have been to me generally for as long as I've been commenting. I've been strongly disagreed with and misunderstood plenty but I don't remember it ever getting to the point where I felt attacked. Obviously that's not true for everyone which is why it surprises me. I guess I've just been lucky that the people who don't like me (I'm sure they're out there; no one is liked by everyone and I can be pretty annoying) tend to keep it to themselves.

I hope your luck turns around, OP. Try not to take it personally when people misunderstand you. All you can do is look at how they interpreted what you said and try to clear it up, or give it up as a lost cause.

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, I had someone get on my case the other day for a comment they took as mean, when I didn't mean it to be.

You have to laugh it off, I guess.

Transcript

[(Anonymous)]

Image: the F!S header

Text: It’s become painfully obvious to me over the past few says that I can no longer participate i any discussions here at F!S as every comment that I make is either ignored or has someone jumping down my throat thinking I am condemning them personally, despite the numerous times that I’ve added “in my limited experience” or “in my corner of fandom”. I’m almost hoping this place fades away.

[caerbannog]

Are you an anon?

If so, it's far more likely that the way you phrase things isn't getting your meanings across as much as you'd like. FS isn't some lump hivemind, you'll find most things will have people on either side of a discussion, but the words and 'tone' used will matter a lot.

Maybe try varying up the types of words you use, or vary up your tone. Pop in a couple of emoticons to get across any jokes, humour etc. Since we can't see each other's faces, the way the words are written are going to matter a lot to communicate effectively.

And just like IRL, misunderstandings can still happen ;)

[(Anonymous)]

Well this community is kind of fading away. We're down to 10 secrets a day. I remember three years ago when it was around 70.

[dafnelemmon.livejournal.com]

as someone who lurks more than posting I think you're exagerating

[houtarouh]

In all honesty, I lurk here a lot, but I think this is actually one of the best places for fandom discussion. Yeah, we may jump down if the comment/secrets are troll worthy or downright absurd, but that's just the nature of the internet. There's always going to be a niche in fandom that opens up to good and fun discussions about the secrets in question.

Oh, if you want throat-jumpy, There's ONTD on livejournal. ;)

[(Anonymous)]

The biggest advice I have for f!s is if someone gets mad at you for the wrong reasons, let it go.

I know it's tempting. You say "I like cheese" and someone goes "What the eff do you get off on demanding people serve only cheese at parties and trying to censor all non-cheese related snackfoods?!"

You think you can just somehow be articulate enough and explain that they've made a terrible mistake and you're not about to start a cheese-based Holy War and you can fix this! You can say the magic words and they'll go "Oh wow, you're right, I did overreact and misunderstand you."

But if they're reading "I like cheese" as "Death to the dairy-free!" They're going to read "I'm sorry, let me explain." as "I hope your bed is filled with hornets." It's just not worth it.