[ SECRET POST #3048 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3048 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 057 secrets from Secret Submission Post #436.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[(Anonymous)]

Especially in the crazy adolescent years. Any of you black lipstick wearing goths? College-only lesbians? or some really out there sexual/gender identity? Otherkin? What kinds of things used to be a huge part of your self-identity that aren't anymore?

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[forgottenjester]

Yes, I used to be a complete-dumbass. I changed into a somtimes-dumbass. Huge improvement.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[blitzwing]

What kinds of things used to be a huge part of your self-identity that aren't anymore?

I've matured out of feminism, and nihilism.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[(Anonymous)]

I used to be really afraid of turning out gay so I clung to the "straight" label in my very early adolescence. I don't know why I was so homophobic, my family and community weren't really so. I guess it was a culmination of those snide little anti-gay remarks you'd hear from your peers and on TV back in the 90s.

Well, I turned out gay, jokes on me. lol But by high school I was definitely a lot mellowed by the idea, even before I had developed a sexuality. Still kind of funny remembering those young moments of being terrified I was secretly gay and reassure myself with crushes on male classmates.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[(Anonymous)]

Sort of? I used to think I was really nonconformist for not wearing nice clothes or makeup. But honestly, I was miserable, and think I would've been happier if I'd acted like I cared as much as I really did.

Seriously, taking care of my appearance has made me happier - I know that sounds really wrong, but you have to understand, looking the way I did was just as artificial as my friends who only wore high heels that made their feet hurt and put on makeup they didn't really wear. Same coin, different side. Now I dress in a way that makes me feel good.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[(Anonymous)]

In some sense, being a geek.

I mean, I'm still a huge nerd, and I don't think that'll ever change. But in the sense of being a geek as an important thing, and of geekdom or nerddom as a community that you can belong to and be a part of, that's something that I absolutely don't have any credence for anymore.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[(Anonymous)]

My sister went from being a vegetarian boho-hippie type who went on long rants about fur to being a total carnivore, wearing fur ("I know it's awful but it looks so nice") and while she doesn't hunt, I don't think she'd not hunt.

I have no clue what happened.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[dethtoll]

I went to a Catholic school and had a conservative mother so I couldn't really have a "goth phase" but I was still ultimately the school goth kid -- I dressed in black a lot outside of school, liked a lot of the popular goth bait music like The Cure and Stabbing Westward (not NIN though) and played games that I thought were gothily appealing (Silent Hill for example was pretty much a NIN music video without the NIN, which I was fine with.) I also read Dracula a lot. Like, a lot. And Stephen King.

I also dealt with actual literal depression a lot and was bullied pretty much every day by students and staff. I was very much an outsider.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[(Anonymous)]

To be honest, me at 26 vs me through high school and college, all pretty similar, except that I'm a little more mellow and grounded than I used to be. For example, I used to be really into new age religion, which technically still accommodates my own spiritual (not literal) beliefs, but I was a bit more wishy-washy about it all back then. Same with my geekness - I still like the same stuff more or less, but I don't wear anime T-shirts and conventions aren't the high point of my life anymore. In college I once went almost (not quite) SJW-level feminist, but I mellowed out of that too (though I still happily call myself a feminist).

I'd probably get along just fine with my sixteen year old self, tbh.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[kaijinscendre]

I'm less of a tomboy? Or at least I take way more care about my clothes and how I look.

I am still a huge geek.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[(Anonymous)]

I never gave myself the label because I was still deeply closeted, but I wondered if I was a lesbian for many of my preteen and teen years.

Blame the fact that there was basically no education about bisexuals/pansexuals. I mean the resources for gay people in general sucked but I at least KNEW what gay/lesbian was.

It also fueled my reasons to stay in the closet, because I kept telling myself I was straight because I was dominantly attracted to guys.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[ariakas]

I used to be a jock.

Then I met, like, smart people.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[comradesmiler]

Atheist, perhaps? Also, was a lot more angry than I am now.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[herpymcderp]

Nothing, really. All things are parts of myself whether or not I like them. I don't exclusively wear black or anything, but I'm still a bit goth/metalhead at heart and it always surprises people to find out about the antiestablishment leanings that come along with that.

I stopped going to anime cons and watching anime, but the experience of being a fan is still there and something I can identify with.

I might have matured but I'm not about erasing myself.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[dahli]

I tried to become a goth and wear black clothes (no make-up), but my mom said no. :( Thank goodness because, looking back on, it my fashion sense was really terrible. I know better now.

Also my Wiccan phase, because playing ouija at school and doing sorcery back in school was the cool and hip thing to do, yes?

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[lb_lee]

*laughs* Honestly, we tried really hard to be NORMAL as adolescents--we knew we were multi but spent a lot of time hiding it from other people and telling ourselves that we were just stupid spoiled children who didn't know jack fucking shit. We had burgeoning mental illness issues, but we kept telling ourselves we couldn't be, we were just pretending for the attention (even though we told nobody and spent a LOT of time and energy hiding it). We were depressed but believed that wasn't possible either, because everyone knew kids couldn't really be depressed.

We did not grow out of it. (Well, the depression is kinda not a thing anymore... because I'm on medication.) We still have a letter that our original wrote back when she was fourteen, with the intent of being opened and read by her future self, and she asked whether some system members were still here. (They were.)

So we're the reverse of the stereotypical teenager who grew out of their weirdness. We actually grew out of being 'normal'... because we were never normal in the first place. (Well, okay, far as we know, we were pretty normal till the age of eight. But after that, shit hit the fan.)

We also first started feeling trans at puberty, and that feeling only got more intense as time went on. (Though as a system phenomenon, it's a little more complicated than just 'we felt trans.') We also have nonbinary system members here. This gives me... PASSIONATE... feelings about the whole 'trans street cred' bullshit.

--Rogan

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[(Anonymous)]

I used to be Goth but I'm really not any more. Kind of miss it sometimes.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[feotakahari]

An incomplete list of stuff I've said I was, some more stupid than others:

9/11 truther
Agnostic
Aromantic
Asexual
Bisexual
Demisexual
Grey-A
Parts fetishist (explanation: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Manga/AiKora)
Satanist
Transgender

Yeah, my Internet history is pretty embarrassing. (Side note: for a site about people who aren't into sex, AVEN is obsessed with other people's sex drives.)

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[(Anonymous)]

Used to think I was asexual. Then I realized I was acrually gay.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[(Anonymous)]

I used to pretend to have little interest in sex or romance and acted somewhat distainful of those things and never gossipped about boys I thought were hot (I'm a girl). I never claimed to be asexual or aromantic (teenagers didn't throw those terms around so much back then, anyway), I just acted aloof and ambivalent.

I was a dork with bad skin who neither had curves nor was particularly thin - just kind of straight-up-and-down-shaped -and who didn't know how to dress myself or put on makeup or do anything with my hair. I figured if I wasn't getting any, I might as well pretend it didn't bother me and maybe maintain the plausible deniability that I didn't want it in the first place.

Also, I think I just wanted to be different than the more openly sex-obsessed teens around me, reardless of the fact that I was equally sex-obsessed.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[elaminator]

Hmm...I haven't really went through any major 'phases'. I'm still geeky (that will probably never change), still awkward (but hopefully less so now), I like to think I'm more open-minded (not that I was ever truly into religion, and I was never homophobic despite all odds, but I was ignorant in a lot of ways, and had to figure things out for myself) and calm (not saying I never get angry, that's impossible, but I have an easier time controlling my temper and letting things go these days).

I guess the one major thing is my sexuality. Or, well...it hasn't changed, but I'm more aware of it now. For a long, long time I thought myself straight, and never even considered I could be anything else. If I found a girl hot it was just me appreciating their beauty, I wasn't really attracted to them. (Granted, I never had a problem with other gay or bi people, but I was in denial about my own feelings.) Growing up where I did I was scared to be different so I just brushed it off and ignored it until I was finally comfortable admitting to myself that I'm bi.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[(Anonymous)]

I started identifying as bisexual when I was about 14, later realized I was asexual.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[(Anonymous)]

I used to try and talk myself into having crushes on people back when I was a kid because that's what people apparently did.
By now, I'm very happily in the "I don't give a fuck" corner(quite literally, even). I guess tumblr would probably label me as aromantic asexual genderneutral or some bullshit but I don't even care enough about all those annoying labels to actually use them.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[(Anonymous)]

I used to think I was bi. Then my sex drive totally died off, but I won't call myself asexual. Then I started questioning my gender but I never found a clear answer. Now I simply don't have an identity I can use.

Re: Ever have an identity that you've since changed or "matured" out of?

[nightscale]

I went through weeaboo phase. I cringe a bit when I look back on it these days but tbh I was just being a dumb kid and attaching myself a bit too much to a type of media I liked.