[ SECRET POST #3125 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3125 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.











Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 066 secrets from Secret Submission Post #447.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Advice

[(Anonymous)]

Adding mine in comment so other people can ask for advice.

Re: Advice

[(Anonymous)]

I thought tonic water cured restless leg syndrome, not made it worse. What can I do to stop my legs being all antsy?

Re: Advice

[(Anonymous)]

Regular exercise. Drink less caffeine. Take a hot bath before bed. Get regular sleep.

Re: Advice

[herpymcderp]

What the other anon said. Also I would recommend seeing a doctor and having some tests done to make sure your restless leg syndrome is not the result of something more serious (it rarely is, but better safe than sorry).

Re: Advice

[caerbannog]

I didn't know this was a thing, I just thought I was fidgety....

Re: Advice

[(Anonymous)]

Very very late but the tonic water would have to contain quinine. Quinine helps with RLS but it can react with other meds (Metformin ) .

Re: Advice

[(Anonymous)]

How do you stop Irish people moving into your neighborhood?

Re: Advice

[dethtoll]

Re: Advice

[kallanda_lee]

Take away the potatoes.

But no, seriously, maybe you should be the one moving.

Re: Advice

[(Anonymous)]

Oh good, the Riverdance troll is back.

um

[(Anonymous)]

steal all their booze?

Re: Advice

[(Anonymous)]

You are exceedingly kind to them. Now, this is a long con, so pay attention.

You are so, so kind to them that they feel welcomed and happy. Of course, you yourself are scheming on how this will induce their departure, but they don't need to know this.

The kinder you are, the more likely it is that they will leave. Trust me OP.

Re: Advice

[(Anonymous)]

Good for you, anon! I'm glad someone had the guts to stand up to them at last. Coming over here, taking our jobs and our women, and acting like they own the place. Good for you, anon! Good for you!

Re: Advice

[herpymcderp]

Pretend to be English?

Har har.

Re: Advice

[(Anonymous)]

Don't live in a neighborhood. Live in a cave in the woods or mountains. Problem solved.

Sis and her BF

[(Anonymous)]

Trying to make this as short as possible.

Sister has a BF. The BF is (in her words) lazy, irresponsible, has no motivation. But he also has good qualities (funny, friendly) . he also moved halfway across the country to live with her.

She has been talking to me a lot about how she can see a life with him. He is addicted to pills and if he has access to them he will take abuse them. As long as there are none he is okay. She asked him once what he would do if they had kids who needed meds (if he would steal them) and he told her she'd have to put them up.

She keeps asking for my advice but I don't want to let me personal dislike for him to color my advice. I think he is a lazy asshole who keeps her from doing stuff she wants to do (some may remember me asking about whether it is weird for her to go with a male friend to a MUST-SEE football game. BF said he was uncomfortable so she didn't go, twice).

Also, I am afraid she will get super depressed if she is alone (and start drinking heavily again). then again, she is pretty depressed with him.

Re: Sis and her BF

[(Anonymous)]

Listen, ask questions, and don't offer your opinion unless explicitly asked. If you go too hard with your opinion (which, tbf, sounds very valid), it'll be harder for her to come to you if she needs help or advice.

I'm sure Carolyn Hax has covered this at some point, so definitely check her archives.

Re: Sis and her BF

[(Anonymous)]

Most of the time, when someone hears a lot of negative critique about their partner, they shoot the messenger, even if the messenger is absolutely correct. Deep down, they know the deadbeat partner is a non-starter, but hearing their worst fears voiced aloud often results in angry, defensive reactions. You know your sister better than we do. Is this likely to happen?

She might be thinking that eventually he'll change or grow up... somehow. This doesn't sound very likely, especially if HE has no awareness of his issues or a plan to change. I'd ask questions about what SHE thinks of his drug problem, or how his actions make HER feel, then explore why. I'd stick to addressing his behavior and actions and how they impact her negatively, without making personal remarks about him, specifically.

Re: Sis and her BF

[(Anonymous)]

Addiction is a terrible thing to go through.

But it's not a license to fuck someone else in the ass.

I find it appalling he would have no problem putting his own child at risk, even if it's hypothetical at this point. This isn't a matter of "well, he rubs me the wrong way." This is potentially dangerous behavior for anyone involved.

IMO your sister needs 1) a spine and 2) stop settling for someone who has no interest in her happiness, will not meet her halfway, and takes no responsibility for himself. And no, she cannot make him change. She can only change how she reacts to him.

Re: Sis and her BF

[(Anonymous)]

Echoing everyone else - the instant you say "he sounds like an asshole with addiction problems, RUN!", she'll close up. What I would say is that you can absolutely validate her concerns without putting the guy down. "Wow, I understand why that upsets you," "no, you're right to be upset over that," etc. And, as another anon mentioned, ask questions - but tread very lightly when you do.

Is there anyone else in your lives who may have similar concerns? You don't want to gossip, but you may be able to figure something out if you have someone you can talk to (and also trust not to tell her "well Nonnie said he's a jackass", since sadly that sort of thing happens).

Re: Advice

[(Anonymous)]

When cutting friends from LJ, are you supposed to post about it? I'm about to do a major friends' cut, and I saw a comment from someone saying they couldn't believe they were silently cut. But honestly, "I'm doing a friends' cut" posts always seemed a bit awkward to me, especially if they say things like "tell me if you want to stay" or "tell me if you want to be re-added." (I actually loathe the former. How passive aggressive is that?) On the other hand, I'm sure there's people who wonder if they said something, and might even be surprised if they thought it was a close LJ friend. So I can see that side.

So what's nicer - a "sorry but I'm doing a cut, no hard feelings" post, or just cutting them and silently wishing them the best?

Re: Advice

[(Anonymous)]

Well, what people prefer is going to vary from person to person, so even if you get a general consensus here, your flist may still disagree. You should just do it however you want to and remind yourself (and others, if necessary) that it's not personal. No need for big announcements, but you could say that you're simply doing a little housecleaning on LJ and don't elaborate on why you're cutting people or who you're cutting. If you resist the urge to offer explanations, you'll cut down on people making awkward challenges.

Re: Advice

[(Anonymous)]

Ehh, I wouldn't normally. Especially since people I cut are usually those I have zero contact with. If anything, I think Friends' Cuts announcements are like "here, comment if you want to redeem yourself by never talking to me and stay" sort of deals. I think it's way more awkward if you try to make it personal. At most, some generic announcement, but I don't really think that's necessary.

Vet school?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm about to finish up my totally worthless degree in Didn't Fucking Plan Ahead, and it's been a long, tedious road to get here. I'm now faced with the reality that so many years later, I'm extremely in debt but not any closer to a career that might help me pay it off. I was so excited to be done with college, but now I'm wondering if I should try and push through a little more and try to go through vet school. Thoughts?

Re: Advice

[(Anonymous)]

How do you deal with a person who throws a tantrum over a perceived slight and stays extremely upset when you come to them and say "I didn't mean to upset you and what you think I think of you I literally do not think"