[ SECRET POST #394 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #394 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 15 pages, 375 secrets from Secret Submission Post #057.
Secrets Not Posted: 0 broken links, [ 1 ] not!secrets, [ 1 ] not!fandom, [ 1 ] repeat, [ 1 2 ] too big, [ 1 ] personal attack, [ 1 ] we went through this yesterday.
Next Secret Post: Tomorrow, Monday, February 4th, 2008.
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[tealizard.livejournal.com]

16) Seriously, it's so terribly hard to WAIT. After I've known so many selfish, bitchy, horrible teenage mothers, I no longer feel any pity for them. (Unless I get to know them and it was... you know, rape or something ;_;)

56) <3

66) I know your pain, but it's the best fucking game ever. I still can't play it or any other SH game alone. I just can't. I can play for maybe an hour or two and then I have to stop and not play for a week.

Then I marathoned 9 hours of SH2 and was very close to beating it. Oh god those dreams were awesome/scary.

[viserys.livejournal.com]

Brace for wank, due to your stance on number 16. Just saying.

[tealizard.livejournal.com]

Oh I know. But after watching one woman break up with a perfectly good man who dropped out of school just to help support the kid because she got bored of him, and another tell her boyfriend it was ok not to use condoms because she was on BC... only to lie because she wanted to get pregnant so he'd "Have to stay with her", and countless others turn into selfish bitches because they just couldn't wait to jump into bed, and blaming their boyfriends... fuck. I mean. There's a little word. It goes "NO".

Well, they did tell you to brace yourself

[jlarinda.livejournal.com]

Because no girl ever is pressured into having sex. Of course not.

Re: Well, they did tell you to brace yourself

[tealizard.livejournal.com]

If she's raped, like I said, that's another thing.

Now if a guy tells you "well, you'll be cool if you have sex with me", or some other bullshit, wouldn't, in this day and age, you be more worried about being labelled a slut than someone who "isn't easy"?

[jlarinda.livejournal.com]

Didn't you ever hear about girls being told by their bfs that they'd dump them if they didn't sleep with them? Sure, there're tons of stupid kids who have unprotected sex knowing the consequences, or people like the OP's brother's gf. But saying that all girls who get pregnant are 'stupid sluts' is a horrible generalisation.

[tealizard.livejournal.com]

I'm not saying their stupid sluts. And also, I've been pressured. I was able to say "no". It's more easy than you think.

[fairness.livejournal.com]

Oh man, you should've gone to university with her. I can't even count the times she threw the kid in daycare so she could skip university to go get drunk with Nick and co.

[tealizard.livejournal.com]

Fuck. She was such a whore. I mean, he was such a good friend to me for the first couple of years of highschool. And he dropped out of school JUST TO TAKE CARE OF HER. Ugh ugh UGH people like that.

[fairness.livejournal.com]

I remember I mentioned her situation in stupid_free once and they threw the "WELL AS LONG AS THE KID IS HAPPY AND HEALTHY, WHO CARES WHAT SHE DOES" ... except, you know, shoving your kid in daycare so you can get wasted, constantly arguing with the kid's father in his presence, and not feeding him properly =/= healthy and happy.

It was retarded. XD

[linkeepsitreal.livejournal.com]

Why isn't the boy expected to abstain? What if you want to have sex, just not get pregnant?

You can be as smart as you want about it, sometimes it still happens. Doesn't make you dumb, or a slut, or a money-grabbing bitch trying to "trap" your boyfriend. Sometimes it just means you're unlucky.

[tealizard.livejournal.com]

The boy should abstain too, sure. But the girl gets to say no to the guy, or the guy can say no to the girl (since guys aren't the ONLY sex feinds out there).

Unlucky? The moment you have sex with a guy while you're unable to financially support yourself, well... Then you're stepping into it. Accidents happen, but can be easily prevented. If you're a 16 year old who IS financially supporting themselves, sure. But you're probably still not mentally ready for that kind of thing.

[linkeepsitreal.livejournal.com]

The thing is, if I want to have sex when I'm 16, I should be allowed to. I'm 18 now and have abstained, so it's not like I'm trying to defend myself. Sex isn't just about babies in this day and age: you can be smart about it and it can still happen. Sex is also about wanting to be with the person you love.

If I am in a committed relationship, want to make love with my boyfriend because WE LOVE EACH OTHER, and use birth control pills AND condoms and I still get pregnant? I don't see how that makes me a stupid slut.

My point being, I don't want to be judged because I am young and want to be with my boyfriend. It doesn't mean I'm not responsible, especially if I do everything I possibly can to prevent such a consequence.

Because, no. Sometimes they can't be prevented. Birth control is still not 100% effective. You can, though it's rare, get pregnant while on the pill. Condoms break, and even if they don't, they AREN'T 100% effective.

And my boyfriend can put on his own condom. I don't need to remind him.

Sorry, I just really disagree with you.

[moebot.livejournal.com]

That is really far from being the "norm." That's where all the ?!?!?! is coming from. That's one experience. It happened similarly to someone extremely close to me (like... family close. Biological parent close) and affected my life negatively, but I don't go around making judgment calls based on one experience that clearly is not as widespread as two teenagers having sex and making an accidental baby.

Because, you know. One experience =/= all experiences.

[tealizard.livejournal.com]

Man, I know GOOD teenage parents too. I'm not saying I don't. I'm just saying I don't have any pity for someone who JUST CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE SEXIES WITH HER BELOVEDDDDD.

[moebot.livejournal.com]

I have sympathy for teen mothers because just looking at a person, I can't know her life story. Maybe she was a stupid kid who didn't use BC or condoms. Maybe she did it to trap a man. Maybe she didn't know anything about sex-ed because of abstinence only education, was coerced into sex, and wasn't allowed to get an abortion. Maybe she is a married woman. Maybe she slept around with 50 different guys. Maybe she was raped. Maybe it's a product of incest. Maybe maybe maybe.

I can't know these things so I don't pretend that I do. It is obviously your perogative if you don't want to pity somene. I'm just saying that judging people without getting to know them first kinda sucks.

16

[enjolras.livejournal.com]

I would just like to say that you are awesome and I agree with everything you are saying. Especially the point about most 16-year-olds not being able to emotionally understand exactly what they are doing when they have sex. I know EXACTLY what you are saying there man. Keep on fighting. ♥

Re: 16

[tealizard.livejournal.com]

:D Thanks luv~

[(Anonymous)]

http://community.livejournal.com/stupid_free/554218.html?thread=73031402#t73031402

[tealizard.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm fully aware. If the snots start stalking me again, I'll actually start caring, but hey, I dunno if they're still in love with me.

[asprosdrakos.livejournal.com]

I'm not really on board with you for #16, there.

One part of the secret itself that upset me is the clear placement of blame solely on the girl. Sure, she's showing the actual physical symptoms of pregnancy, but unless it's the second coming, there's a boy out there that has an equal share of the blame. So with "selfish, bitchy, horrible teenage mothers" are you including "selfish, bitchy, horrible teenage fathers"? Or are we talking only about single teenage mothers?

I'm not defending teenage pregnancy. There's a reason that any middle school or high school health curriculum will stress abstinence first and foremost and other methods of birth control second. But there are circumstances - such as socioeconomic background and education and just the overall social environment - that have been affecting many would-be teenage mothers since they were themselves young.

Because the mother doesn't have the option of cutting and running when she's carrying what she would run from, there is an emphasis on the mother having more responsibility, instead of an equal share with the father. But I'm not seeing that making her a slut, necessarily, and more subject to poor judgment, circumstance, and possibly, her own choices.

[(Anonymous)]

I've read your comments here and you're an extremely ugly, vicious, bitter individual. I have no idea what happened to you to make you this way but it's really sad to see.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree very much, but I also agree with what she has to say--she just does a terrible job of explaining and comes off unnecessarily trollish. If you can get past her condescending manner and her gross generalizations then she does have some good points.

That being said, I hope that she gets help someday. It's heartbreaking to read things written by people like this.

16.

[kaiya-chan.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I know you've been getting a lot of flack for your position on this matter, but I just want to let you know that I completely agree. I understand when it's rape or the condom breaks or such things, but I have absolutely no pity for anyone who is struggling with pregnancy if they didn't bother to use protection.

My younger brother and his girlfriend were staying with me for a couple months, and just as they were about to move out I found out that she was pregnant. They were staying with me because neither one of them had anywhere else to go, and neither one had a job. My brother even bragged before that, that he didn't bother to use protection because it "wasn't a problem", and that she wasn't on the pill for the same reason. That of course was the pressing point for me to insist that they needed to find another place to go, as it was bad enough that I was supporting the two of them and I didn't need to support a third person as well. I know that they're eighteen and therefore of age, but in my opinion they aren't truly adults yet. They aren't adults until they can take responsibility for their mistakes, which from what I've heard (I haven't talked to him since he moved out) they haven't done at all. It's still just one big party to them. "Oooh, she's going to have my baby, whee!" They're not bothering to think about the financial nor emotional ramifications of their actions.

I know that's a bit tl;dr, but I just wanted to thank you for putting into words my exact feelings on the matter. Thank you. ♥

Re: 16.

[tealizard.livejournal.com]

Ugh ugh ugh. Those situations suck. Its worse when they expect their parents to pay for everything the kid needs too. ><

Not a problem. WOW.

Seriously. As soon as I got out of school, I became an adult because i was of agea nd I was supporting myself with a job etc. But if you're depending on someone else...