[ SECRET POST #3200 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3200 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 009 secrets from Secret Submission Post #457.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

Is not something men do it's something that is done to men.

Toxic masculinity is not something a group of people should be attacked for, it's something they should be offered support from. Why can't the radfems and the mra get this shit through their heads?

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

it's both something men do and something that is done to men. because society is basically a terrible machine, for everyone, that we are also all complicit in.

similarly, there are times when we should do everything we can to support men against toxic masculinity - mostly because ultimately I think empathy and caring and fighting against the alienation society produces is a profound moral duty. at the same time, I think it's important to attack the structures of toxic masculinity and to mitigate the harm that it creates, and that often requires arguing against men.

it's really difficult to strike this balance, because - again - society is a stone-cold motherfucker.

i have lots of thoughts on this but i think that covers the bases.

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

Which side should we err on? Attacking men to disable toxic masculinity or supporting men who're the victims of it? because those men are almost always the same men meaning it's not just a difficult balance to stike, it's a straight up impossible balance to strike. Infinite mercy cannot exist with infinite justice. Total compassion and total destruction can rarly work together. One must be sacrificed for the other at some point, so again I ask, which side do we err on?

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

society is a stone-cold motherfucker

Society built and maintained by men. why should we have to protect them from it?

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

wrong, tocix masculinity is done to men AND women and it's done BY men. men might suffer from it but they also inflict it.

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

Women do it as well. I've heard women call men things like pussies and cowards for not being brave or protecting them and whatnot.

???

[(Anonymous)]

I think you're talking about different things than AYRT, or seeing things in a different way.

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

Has anyone said "Wah Poor Men" yet? No?

"Wah Poor Men"

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

"Wah poor men" more like "lol the suffering or problems of people who aren't us"

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[feotakahari]

When someone is being an asshole, the first priority is to help and support whoever they're being an asshole to. They're still a priority if they want to change, but a lower one. That goes for both men and women.

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

Tangent and honest question: Is there a type of masculinity or an expression of masculinity that is not toxic?

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

I would tend to say yes.

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

i think of the Bacha bazi boys. they undergo horrendous abuse at the hands of men, but they do it often willingly so that their mothers and sisters go unharmed. masculinity used to protect is about as untoxic as you can get.

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[feotakahari]

I don't think there's a non-toxic form of "traditional masculinity" in American culture, though Gravity Falls seems to be trying to claim one. Broaden it, and definitions of "masculinity" vary so much between cultures that the question is almost meaningless.

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

Toxicity is systemic.

If the system was not toxic, the individual-level wouldn't be either.

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

Um, yes? The one that's being claimed/constructed by butch women, and by many trans men. I mean, doesn't mean those groups can't display toxic masculinity, but if you want performative masculinity that consciously tries to address the toxicity, go investigate those cultures, because that's where positive masculinity is evolving.

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

The idea that this is even a question completely disgusts me. Get some fresh air and meet some people, JFC.

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

What is "expression" of either femininity or masculinity? Since that's a bullshit concept, I'll say absolutely. Protecting others, fighting against injustice, modeling kindness and fairness, etc.

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[kallanda_lee]

Oh god, are we doing this shit again?

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[kaijinscendre]

MEN ARE EVIL!!!

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

I'm beginning to think that a lot of people on here hate their fathers. Did they like...not get you the new iphone for your birthday?

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

I just can't get over the fact that you think men have nothing to do with perpetrating it. Men perpetrate it, women perpetrate it too.

Are you confused about the role of individuals vs system, perhaps? That's understandable, it's something we have to learn.

Perhaps you need to reassess why you think the "radfems" and "mra" (extremes, anyone?) "can't get this shit through their heads" when you don't seem to understand much yourself yet.

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[diet_poison]

Er, it's both.

It is a thing men do both to each other and to women.

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure I understand what the concept of toxic masculinity actually means anymore. I've seen it used to describe all sorts of conflicting stuff.

I do think that both masculinity and femininity are toxic concepts, however.

Re: Toxic Masculinity

[(Anonymous)]

hahaha... the worst toxic things can be is being physical,or personal.... and not admitted the harassment.