[ SECRET POST #3307 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3307 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 078 secrets from Secret Submission Post #473.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. http://i.imgur.com/qW3HdEL.png

Transcript by OP

[fscom]

[Description: Black text on a white background. A picture of an old fan in one corner of the secret.

Transcript: I used to be part of a fandom aimed at people much younger than me. I found a group of fans my age.

We had a chip on our shoulder about how we were so much more mature and intelligent than everyone else in the fandom. I wish I could say I was above that b.s. but honestly... I was not.

Then I started to notice something. Most of us were unemployed or stuck in shitty retail jobs. Most didn't have many friends outside the group. All of us were single. Some were university drop outs.
All of us were unhappy. And yet...

We felt superior because we thought we were better than a bunch of tween fangirls.

It made me question why I'm part of fandom.]

Re: Transcript by OP

[dahli]

Ouch. I was in a similar situation (minus having the fandom friends + irl all went away to other countries for college and we stopped talking). It's hard getting out of it, but you took the first step of acknowledging that you have a problem and using fandom as a way to cope with your current situation. What you do from there on is up to you, so best wishes and best of luck for you, OP!

Re: Transcript by OP

[(Anonymous)]

Just one.

Re: Transcript by OP

[(Anonymous)]

Single. Not many friends OL or IRL. Retail job. Severe anxiety. Currently in university though.

Re: Transcript by OP

[(Anonymous)]

Single, no real friends. Other than my cats. Good job, Master's degree, a few more years till I can retire.

[(Anonymous)]

Now that's a good secret. Not good, but a good secret. I hope you got out of that circlejerk OP

[blitzwing]

At least you've recognized that it's not a healthy mentality to have. Good luck with moving forward in your life. Fandom can be a lot of fun and not everyone is in it to escape from a bad existence.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm in exactly the same position as you and your friends, OP. (Unexmployed, University drop out, not sure where my life is going, no prospects.) And I can't work out if fandom is my safety valve for my shitty life, or part of a bigger problem where I'm just crap at life in general and so waste it on fandom.

[(Anonymous)]

That was the part of the secret that stood out to me. Spending a lot of time looking down at other people, for whatever reason, just sounds depressing.

[lady_dragoon]

Good on you for realizing this and questioning it, OP. Hope you've found better, more positive people to hang out with!

[elaminator]

Well, we had this discussion two days ago about how sometimes fandom can be an escape from the disappointments or stresses of real life, but it doesn't have to be, and either way everyone's in it for the love of the material. At least you realized there was no point in looking down on other people?

(God, I think back to my teen days and am so embarrassed I ever had internet access, lol. Thankfully I didn't make an ass of myself on social media or anything like that, but looking back at some of the posts I made and stupid things I said...ugh. When I see someone who I suspect is rather young I think about my past and know what it's like. Plus, I'm embarrassing even now, so.)

Anyway, good luck with everything, OP. Hope everything eventually works out for you.

[(Anonymous)]

agreed about my teen days... I'm glad the forum I visited back then doesn't exist anymore. And I wasn't even a minor for some of it!

[nightscale]

I'm another person who is infinitely glad that social media didn't exist when I was young, I was an idiot back then. So yeah I give those who I know are young online some slack, you'll figure shit out as you get older.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm so thankful the internet didn't become a thing until I was university-aged. Even then I was immature and embarrassing enough. *sits back and reflects on some early-fandom memories and cringes violently*

This secret's a timely reminder, since I have recently gotten into a fandom that has a lot younger userbase than I've become used to and sometimes I feel myself getting frustrated with their cluelessness... I have to keep reminding myself that I've (not infrequently) seen 40+ year olds who are at least as bad, and at least the young-teens have an excuse.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm so tired of this belief that being single means you have no life, are inadequate, or aren't "doing it right".

[(Anonymous)]

I suppose it was included because OP's friends aren't happy being single, but it shouldn't be taken as a negative for everyone.

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed! I'm single and life is good!

[(Anonymous)]

I'd rather be single than be in a rotten marriage like some people I know....

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I've always thought that a lot of the hate for things like Mary Sues, songfic etc. is from people who are just out of their teens and did those things themselves five minutes ago. Then you grow up and get over it.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah People who expend a a lot of time "sporking" fics and making fun of fic trends they find embarrassing or found it was their "duty" to "improve fic quality" by chasing off people who did those things be people who either were taking out their embarrassment at themselves on other people, or people who never grew past the need to.

[ninety6tears]

What I find strange about this secret is that those are potentially arbitrary yardsticks for maturity and I kinda doubt you were looking down on younger fans for the stuff related to jobs and life goals. It's good to get perspective and stop looking down on others, but don't beat yourself up for having problems they could very well have once they get older.

[(Anonymous)]

So the shit hit the fan?