[ SECRET POST #3588 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3588 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 62 secrets from Secret Submission Post #513.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[feotakahari]

Your friends are no more obligated to buy your books than they are to buy your Tupperware or Cutco. Or to contribute to your Gofundme, for that matter. The test of who is truly your friend should not be whether they give you their money.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

+1000

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

+1001

And adding to people above, that you should not rely on friendships to signal boost. Reach out to blogs, or even reach out to your friends and actually ASK if they'd mind retweeting/sharing a blog post/etc.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[dinogrrl]

This.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[crossy_woad]

Of course it shouldn't be. But if the friends specifically says, "Oh, you should sell tupperware! I love tupperware and I'd totally buy it from you!" then you go out on the limb, try this difficult new thing, and they say "Oh yeah I bought that tupperware from you!!!" when you know they didn't...that's assholishness, even if they don't "mean it to be."

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

Kind of a faulty metaphor, given that the people who sell tupperware don't actually make it themselves, and thus their friends would have no reason to encourage it. And OP's friends never said they did buy the book; OP just said (s)he knows they didn't.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly. I'm a little weirded out by how many people in this thread don't see it that way. I've purchased ebooks published by friends as a show of support. If I like them even a little bit, it's one freaking dollar, ffs. I wouldn't bother to be friends with anyone I didn't like enough to spend one dollar upon.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

I'm poor as shit and can't afford an e-reader, but fuck me for encouraging my friends to do what they love even if I can't access it, right? "I'd totally buy it" doesn't necessarily mean "can but won't," it could very well be "would but can't." Never assume into people's circumstances.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

+1

"I would" does not mean "I will".

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

I'm in the same position, anon. But the difference is: I don't tell people I'm going to buy their stuff if I'm not sure I'll have the money to buy their stuff. It ain't rocket science.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[crossy_woad]

That's very self-righteous of you! "Never assume..." They could just not say they will do something, how about that?

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

Kind of off-topic, but FYI, anon, if you have a computer or smart phone there are free browser add-ons and apps that let you read e-books without a dedicated device.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed. OP, I get that this book is your baby and your feelings are hurt, but I doubt your friends had malicious intent in this. Have you directly asked them to support your book in other ways, or are you quietly expecting them to promote you just on their own? Give them free copies if they agree to write a review, or have them spread the word on their social media sites. They'll probably oblige if you ask.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

word of caution about the free book for a review thing. It's one thing for your friends and family to write reviews on their social media. It's another if say, they try to post it to Amazon. Amazon has changed their policies and upgraded their algorithms. If the OP has her fandom space connected to her professional space, then Amazon won't allow these reviews because they are from her friends. They aren't "unbiased" reviews.

And their whole policy on free exchange for a review has gotten murkier too. Supposedly it doesn't count for books. Then on the other hand, a lot of reviews have been deleted that had the "free in exchange for a review" on it.

Just... FYI.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[kallanda_lee]

True, but to play devil's advocate: I wouldn't TELL people I'd buy their Tupperware, either.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

+1

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

Fucking this.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

Holy shit, no.

It's not about the money - especially since a tiny amount of money. It's about supporting your friends' interests, passions, and work. I go to my friends' art shows despite not liking art. I go to my friend's film festivals where he has a film being shown, but not because I'm interested in the genre. If a friend wrote a book I would DAMN WELL READ IT.

Jesus christ. There's a different between asking a friend to fork over lots of money, and a decent expectation of friendship that they might spend *gasp* 99 cents and at least skim through what you've written.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

I agree totally. Ive brought two books from fandom people and paid way more a dollar. You support friends!

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

This. Not going to lie, it's kind of strange how many people would refuse to do something so small just to support a friend. I have friends who write books in genres I don't really care for... still bought their books. It cost me less than a coffee at Starbucks. I hardly think I'm a unique person who enjoys doing things to support their friends, so I have no idea why so many people in this thread are dead set against this.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

"I go to my friends' art shows despite not liking art. I go to my friend's film festivals where he has a film being shown, but not because I'm interested in the genre."

TBH that makes them kind of shitty friends for expecting you to do something that you don't want to do.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[soldatsasha]

Seriously, I'm kind of boggling over this whole thread. I've read all kinds of awful, stupid shit over the years because a friend wrote it. I've also left nice comments on friends' awful fanart, or bought copies of their work, or reblogged/commented on things they wanted me to weigh in on, or gone to parties/events that I didn't want to go to because they asked me to be there.

wtf, I don't think it's a big imposition for a friend to be minor support of things you work hard on? That's kind of the whole point of friendship, to support each other and make each other feel good.

The secret doesn't say the OP felt entitled to their friends' money or time, just that they felt hurt that these people who claimed interest suddenly weren't interested. I think most people would feel pretty bad in this situation. It's like getting ditched.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

I agree, nonnie. If a friend accomplishes something that they're proud of, I damn well find a meaningful way of supporting it - and them. A shallow pat on the head and a quick exit-right is a pretty crap response.

TBH, reading through the [majority of] responses to this secret, I'm wondering when the concept of friendship became so debased.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

It's not even about having to buy the book, but something OP mentioned that takes zero money and very little time: just reblogging/signal boosting about the book, even if it won't have much of an effect, would be the correct and friendly gesture if you went on an on about supporting OPs writing and telling them to publish it.

Re: I've said it before, and I'll say it again

[(Anonymous)]

And even when money isn't involved, your friends are not obligated to consume anything you create. I ship pairings that my friends don't and vice versa, and none of us would ever think or pressuring or guilting each other into reading our fic when we know they aren't into that. Real friendship means understanding and respecting the fact that your interests aren't always going to overlap in all areas.