[ SECRET POST #4406 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4406 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 47 secrets from Secret Submission Post #631.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. https://i.imgur.com/OJ5Biig.png

[(Anonymous)]

Can someone explain the reference? I'm old and out of touch, thx.

[(Anonymous)]

I could be mistaken, but I think the quote OP is using is just something someone on FS said a few weeks back.

Negging, if you don't know, is a basic tactic of pickup artists. Basically, it's insulting a woman in low-key or ambiguous ways so that they feel insecure and feel like they need to work to make the guy like them.

"You're nothing...but not to me" is not actually negging, but for the purpose of the joke, I think it works. I loled, anyway.

[(Anonymous)]

Lol
Yep

[sabotabby]

LOOOOOL

[(Anonymous)]

Apparently girls do love negging/murder considering so many of them ship Reylo and find Kylo to be the ideal husbando. Nobody gives men more ammo to think women like being treated like shit than women.

[(Anonymous)]

"Giving ammo" is slightly unfair, because there's a distinction between enjoying something as a safe fantasy/play and the reality of abuse. Everyone needs to recognize that. Any man who confuses the two and thinks that women being into that fantasy justifies actual mistreatment of women is absolutely wrong and a real piece of shit besides.

But it does seem to be an extremely widespread, and common, and potent fantasy among women. Maybe the single most common fantasy. It seems kind of ludicrous to deny that.

[(Anonymous)]

A+ victim blaming there, anon.

[(Anonymous)]

... except other men. You're giving way too much credit to the kind of asshole who'd do this in thinking that they're that observant and responsive to what women say or do.

[(Anonymous)]

There's a whole lot to dig into here, and I don't feel like it. But one thing I do want to say is--

It's not women's job to incentivize men to be decent people.

Even if "bad boys" got laid more (which I'm not saying they do, but even if they did), men are not animals living on instinct, with no choice but to behave in the way that allows them to procreate the most effectively. Being sapient means you get to choose how you behave. And being civilized means choosing not to be a shithead because you think it might get your dick sucked a few more times.

[(Anonymous)]

as a woman i would gladly push kylo ren off a steep cliff if given the chance. he seems like such a melodramatic manchild.

that said, i think the majority of women who fawn over him are fantasizing about the cuddly, bastardized kidzbop version of kylo that they've made up in their own heads, not the actual sociopath kylo you see in the movie. a lot of villain fans have a fetish for "woobifying" a male villain as just a poor misunderstood babbu who needs a hug and suddenly he'll become a ~perfect husbando~ cured through the power of ~*love*~!

[(Anonymous)]

Women don’t generally like being treated like shit. They like the fantasy that they are so irresistable that utterly irredeemable (hot) assholes will work their asses off to prove themselves to be worthy of such a flawless paragon of femininity by listening to them, taking care of all their needs and wants, loving them unconditionally, and doing the vast bulk of the emotional labor required for a successful relationship.

And I say this as someone who fucking loathes Kylo Ren and hopes he ends the next movie beheaded by a lightsaber.

[(Anonymous)]

Sure is a whole lot of trollin' going on tonight.

[rosehiptea]

I like Kylo Ren (for a given value of "like") but this seems spot on to me.

[(Anonymous)]

No, that never works!

[(Anonymous)]

Judging from the bulk of my female friends who are with douchebags who treat them like sentient cumbuckets, it does.

[(Anonymous)]

I like how anons who dare to say bad things about men on here get dogpiled and written off as evil radfems, yet turn around and dogpile anons for daring to say that women really suck too. You just can't win with this place.

[(Anonymous)]

Poor misogynist. :( Were the ebil feminazis mean to you? :(

[(Anonymous)]

Some men abuse women =/= some women have complicated abuse fantasies

[(Anonymous)]

I don't even understand what your complaint is.

[(Anonymous)]

That's pretty much his whole identity anyway. Kylo Ren, the negging and murder guy.

[(Anonymous)]

Okay but why do so many girls like abusive dickwad villains? Why do I see so many "I thought Jafar imprisoning Jasmine was hot, I wish they went further than that" secrets here? I know it's wrong of me to think these women have self-respect issues, but sometimes I veer into that territory as I can't think of another reason why someone would want to subject themselves to that kind of horror or get turned on by it.

[(Anonymous)]

I'll just copy and paste an comment I just made because ahahahah, I read the research on the subject ages ago.

"rape fantasies and a taste for douchebag fictional characters don't cause men to be arseholes, evidence suggests it's in fact a method to cope with the fact men are arseholes.

You either fictionalise, sexualise and in general nerf the sheer horror of existence in the current climate of dude behaviour, or you invent a series of nonsensical rituals (see almost every list of 'rape prevention behaviour for women') to avoid it happening to you; because on both ends of the spectrum you've been told everyday of your life that rape/abuse/harassment/assault is not a matter of if but a matter of when, and that when it happens it will be your fault no matter how many precautions were taken.

A lot of people do both.

The fact is turning something into a horny fantasy is way easier means to handle reality than spending 100% of the time you spend existing in pants-wetting-terror."

Now for me personally, I identify as a sadist and enjoy seeing male and female characters in pain. But the fact is a lot of it for most people boils down to "either spend all your time being scared of what you've always been told is an inevitable threat, or nerf that fear into a manageable thoughts so you can continue with everyday life doing basic day to day humaning."

This is why these kinds of fantasies and equivalents are not prevalent with cishet men, a cishet dude doesn't follow any rituals in his day to avoid rape or abuse and frankly most don't ever consider it a possibility it could happen to them. Cishet men are not raised that constant statement of 'this is going to happen to you and nothing you can do will stop it but it will be your fault anyway,' so there's never any need to defuse a fear of the inevitable event.

[(Anonymous)]

Why do I see so many "I thought Jafar imprisoning Jasmine was hot, I wish they went further than that" secrets here?

I'm not here to kink shame the people who kink on this, but jesus christ it squicks me out so damn bad. You are not alone in being confused about this. I don't get it either.

[(Anonymous)]

For me personally, I don’t have rape fantasies, but I do have “woobie villain” fantasies—not about Kylo Ren, but eh. And it’s partially what that other anon said about “nerfing” something I’m terrified of—the idea that even a monster or monstrously-behaving human can change and learn to be kind and gentle, because the alternative is that I’m stuck believing all the shitty things men do is all they’re capable of.

Some of it is also that I’m ugly and weird and there are so damn few Beauty and the Beast stories with a woman who is the Beastly character that by the time I was old enough to analyze my own fictional preferences, I’d been identifying with the (almost always male) monsters in “weird monstrous outsider learns about human emotions by falling in love” stories for years.

And neither of those things prevents me from seeing real life abuse (and real life rapists and abusers) as terrifying and disgusting. I remember talking with someone I shared a (villain) fandom with who wrote letters to some dude in prison and considered him her boyfriend, and when I expressed skepticism, said “don’t you identify with (female character from shared fandom)?” And she was so puzzled when I explained that no, I identified with the ugly outcast who wanted desperately to be normal, have a romantic partner, and walk around outside without attracting negative attention.

As soon as her “boyfriend” got out of prison and met her in person, he broke up with her, and she was heartbroken because she felt like she was so ugly only men with no other options would want her... which, my self-esteem sucks too, but I’d rather be alone than actually pair up with an abuser.