fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5650 ]

[ SECRET POST #5650 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5650 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 40 secrets from Secret Submission Post #809.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I knew this stuff in my 20s, if not how to articulate all of it. What I still haven't figured out at almost 40 is how I could've done any of it. And it's too late now, I think.

By the time I was mentally together and financially secure enough to try, I'd have to adopt, and it would suck for the adoptee to realize their parent might die before they hit 18 or were ready to move out if they wanted to stay longer.

I don't owe shitty people a thing, even if they are "family."

andromeda isn't as bad as people are making it out to be, but because of the failed scope it feels pretty hollow. the original games have very tight storytelling, andromeda struggles to fill all the planets it offers. that said the characters are cute and i loved my romance with reyes. it's at least worth a pirate imo

A real job and my own house.

If I'd known I would definitely eventually want to be a parent, I might've realized this stuff, but I didn't see it as something I would definitely want eventually, and it never really occurred to me that I had to be prepping extremely hard for something I didn't want and had never wanted but might eventually want, maybe. I guess I'm just not strong on that kind of pragmatic foresight.

Fair point about not knowing how you could've actually done any of it, though. I definitely feel that.

I'm sorry you're going through it, too.

I think I have heard of it, but can't remember. I'll give it a go. Thank you!

My brother has regular get-togethers with his high school buddies. He graduated in 1989.

I ghost wrote this in my sleep.

I listen to all your groups! You have great taste!!!

I highly reccomend Kamelot's Epica and The Black Halo which is a rock opera inspired by Faust's story. Some tracks are instrumental or with just some dialog, but on the whole they're some of the best albums ever made IMHO.
I also reccomend Epica's The Panthom Agony. It's symphonic metal. Anything by Epica is awesome and the vocals are just *chef's kiss*. I usually use them as background music when studying LMAO
Arch Enemy is a melodic death metal band. Wages of Sin, Anthems of Rebellion and Doomsday Machine are the best album IMHO.

Hope you have fun grinding in your videogame!!! :D

This is so relatable. I'm almost the same as you in every point you wrote.

My parents were really emotionally immature when I was growing up and my father had a lot of outbursts of anger, while my mother was emotionally unavailable because of trauma she suffered during her childhood. My aunt was schizophrenic (I loved her, she was very kind and a very good person, but sometimes she was easily triggered into psychosis) and my grandma suffered from Bipolar Disorder and probably BPD.
To survive the unprectability of my family's mood I learned very fast to read people's mood and adjust myself to that. I've always been very socially inept and prefer quitly observe people before I interact. I was like this since I was born, apparently.
I never unlearned that and it created a lot of problems for me because I "put of a mask" with almost everyone without even being aware of that. I prefer being alone most of the time. People tire me. Internet is my safe heaven, but even then sometimes I need to unplug because people are just too much for me.

I recommend reading or just skimming through "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents" by
Lindsay C. Gibson. This book and therapy really did put some stuff into perspective for me.

I wish you all the best. <3

For making my secret. That drink looks delicious!

I love this guy! Good for him! Outside of like two or three songs on FotC, I remembered him the most :)

I remember this show coming on the late night AS line up. Never watched it, but was always curious, asking myself wtf this was about.

(I did end up watching super jail from time to time, another bucket of wtf)

I'm going to be thirty next month and I was talking with my coworker (56?) And she used to be a punk. I was a baby goth/emo. We both agreed it's not really a phase and will kind of always be in you/grow and evolve with you. So yeah.

The more I speak to people, the more I'm getting the feeling most people don't feel as old as they are inside (responsibilities aside)

Yes, same - and unfortunately not even the internet for me AOL because it has changed so much, even socializing online can be stressful often.

Thanks for the recs . Though my issue(and my brother's, possibly) was mainly being on the autism spectrum and being very anxious..

I was also pretty heavily bullied throughout school.

I probably should have mentioned that, sorry

Yeah , I get that .

Though for me, upsetting/offending one of my coworkers feels a little more risky than upsetting/offending someone online

AYRT

No worries! I'm not on the autistic spectrum, but it turn out I have ADHD and always had difficulties socializing and understanding other people's emotions and motivations because of that. I suffer from Bipolar Disorder and social anxiety, too. I was also bullied from elementary to the beginning of high school.
So yeah... We probably have some issues in common even if the causes are different. :)
Have a nice day/night!

Adored this film as a child, and as an adult lesbian, who watched Dolly come down those stairs to sing A Lil' Ole Bitty Pissant Country Place and went '.....ah. That makes sense.'

Totally feel you here! I consider that media gave me very unrealistic expectation of tight knit friendship groups. Then again, I also see people like that, they're just not me. I'm always the forgettable one, so unless I work super hard, most of my friendships drift. Or other times I come off as overkeen trying to maintain them, but I know if I don't they will lapse. I adore my friends dearly, just wish it was easier to make and keep them.

The good news is you CAN make close friends later. I lost contact with a lot of childood friends, but realized later this is because they wee a bad match, and we were friends mostly through circumstance.

Not a happy thing, but: that a lot of the people who raised you, who loved you, who were influential in your childhood/early life - are actually at the tail end of their lives, while you are (if all goes right) not even halfway.

In short: my thirties made me acutely aware of the fact my loved ones are mortal. It's not that I didn't know before, it's just that suddenly you start losing people and it doesn't stop.

This makes me sad, also because your mom was probably depressed, too, but thought it was normal. So many people in that generational had no idea they had a mental illness.

I'm happy you found something that makes your life better.

If you don't mind me asking, how come you didn't realize sooner, you think?

Not quite in the same boat as you...but, I just couldn't afford to have a kid. To be fair, it was never my "big dream", and I always planned to have kids late (like 30-ish). But by that time, I had not prepared anything. I had a boyfriend, yes, but I had no money, no career, no stable mental health...I'd just plummet myself into poverty and a mental institution (not sure which order) by having a child.

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[ SECRET POST #5650 ]

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Re: What are you thirsty for these days?

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Thank you secret maker!

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