fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5835 ]

[ SECRET POST #5835 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5835 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #835.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Just a late vent thread. Feel free to post your own.

teal deer; financial/id theft shit, crappy holidays, sleep fail, gift fail

These last two months have just been shit. First I find out some asshole stole my identity last year and ran up a thousand dollar bill in my name so I had to contact the debt collector AND the original company, and obviously file an ID theft report and put alerts on my credit and all that. I got so distracted by this that by the time I remembered Christmas was coming up, it was too late to put in any time off (we are encouraged to put in holiday time early since it's the holidays, but a skeleton crew must be present). I decided to just have what few days I did get and have a nice little Christmas by myself.

I got contacted by a family member who had planned to be in the area but I really wasn't feeling up to visitors for multiple reasons. One, I'd planned to already spend the holiday by myself, two, I don't want visitors AT ALL because I keep finding fucking piece of shit cockroaches in this fucking piece of shit apartment when it's been fucking 20 degrees outside for days, and don't want anyone to take an unwanted souvenir back home. And no, I refuse to meet in a public place and linger anywhere with all the plague rats still around. Three, while we do the obligatory text on holidays and birthdays, we have never really been close. So I had to be the bastard and "nicely" refuse the visit but wished them safe travels.

Had a list of things I was going to do but all the stupid little shitty things just kept pissing me off for no reason so I couldn't enjoy stuff. Even movie watching was a nice temporary distraction but I can't watch movies all day because my body's slowly turning into shit and needs to actually move around. So great, not being able to enjoy stuff I love. I decided to use the time to do a little cleaning and of course found more bugs, mostly dead but a few alive.

Haven't been sleeping well at all because of my shitty body (I'm trying to rebuild my muscle and work on core/pelvic floor... and I know that's a process, especially with getting older and with no guarantee it'll be 100% or even anywhere near the 90s) but it's been worse this last week, waking up in the middle of the night to pee, even when the need wasn't that great. So no real rest over the holiday. And I go back to work tomorrow.

Haven't heard back on the ID theft investigation/fraud report and I'm getting nervous. I don't want to be stuck with some asshole's bill.

And to top it all off, I think I whiffed hard on my Secret Santa. The recipient left things entirely up to the gifter. It took me a long time to settle on something I THOUGHT they would like (because IMO, Secret Santa is about the recipient and not the gifter) and was something within my actual ability. The gifts are displayed anonymously in a public internet area for all to see, so the gifter (and anyone else) can comment on them. And then the guessing game begins. Well... three days my gift to them was displayed and it's been crickets. The most they said about it was "oh I have no idea who did mine" and nothing more. I'm not asking to have my ass kissed, it's just driving me a little crazy that I don't know if it was good gift or a bad gift. Literally everyone's been guessed except for me, so we're just "formally" waiting for the last guess. The recipient seems to have disappeared the last couple days. It's entirely possible they're just being flaky (going by their past behavior), but I'm kind of stuck not being able to share the gift anywhere else until they guess.

Well, I don't know wtf is going to happen and I still have other stuff I need to do. But if you made it to the end of this vent, thanks for reading. Things feel a little lighter now.

If you're reviewing Top Gun and don't understand that they are Navy (yes, even if they're flying planes! That doesn't make them Air Force by default!) then you're dumb and bad. I don't expect anybody to be experts but at least some movies get the basics.

Yes literally, this was my final straw. I feel like the movie is very clear that they are in the Navy what with the ships and all the times they say "Navy" but by Grabhtar's hammer I have had enough.

Thank you secret maker!

This has been festering for a while, I'm honestly very annoyed and I'm avoiding reviews of anything that features military stuff unless I trust the reviewer. Spoiler alert: I don't trust any reviewer. I have no idea what happens in the new Top Gun movie and will probably never see it. I don't want all my reviews to be vetted by the Pentagon (ew) I just don't want to sit through another 5 minute interlude about how all these guys are flying planes why are they saying Navy?!?!?

Algorithms are inherently hostile when they aren't transparent and editable by users.

At this point "realistic" just means "shitty and unimaginative" to me and I hate it.* I'm reading/watching a lot of nonfiction because I do love "realistic" stuff I just hate the current fictional depiction of "realistic".

*Mother truckers are out there talking about how the Big Dark Battle in GOT was more realistic than the siege of Helms Deep because of the lighting. Like. I hate everyone who even thinks that because they put their artillery in front of the castle walls (????) AND had cavalry guarding a fixed position instead of waiting to flank (!!!). That is the single worst and least realistic battle set up ever, if you think otherwise I want to bet money with you on battle games because I could pay down my college loans.

I don't pick up anything centered around young protagonists. Even teen-aged protagonists. I don't have any comments as to the quality or subject matter (although I think a lot of problems are solved by setting HS stories in college, that's another rant) I'm just fundamentally uninterested in all of these problems that don't matter to me.

Wait, people are actually justifying that laughable season 8 Winterfell battle?

Also, I just rewatched The Two Towers. The fort was defended in a way that actually made sense (yes, even though they overlooked the drain area, but at least you could say they did so because they felt safe with the fort's past protection), no stupid decision to have the Dothraki preemptively charge ahead with flaming weapons in a suicide attack against the undead, or the other things you mentioned. There was probably more thought put into the old dude who accidentally let loose the arrow on the orcs, than there was in 80% of the Big Dark Battle.

The most recent thing for me was when one of the female main characters in a book was making fun of a male character for not immediately wanting to have sex with her and questioning his manhood and stuff. I don't know if it's because I'm ace (although not a guy) but it just really rubbed me the wrong way, and I put the book down at that point and didn't go back to it.

Could be part of it, but I think it's mostly that one character was being disrespectful of another character and dumping on their boundaries. People who insult and pressure others into having sex with them are just assholes who think their own sexual needs are more important than actual consent.

On facebook, yes. My non-fandom family members send me 'memes' (actually just clips from tumblr) that they think I'll like. I liked them when I saw them on tumblr originally. To me it's about accepting and reciprocating affection more than actually seeing something new. But occasionally I scroll down to the comments and go blind.

(The only issue I see with Helms Deep is that the wall is totally smooth and has no little outcroppings for defenders to shoot at orcs coming up the walls from the side. They either have to lean over the wall and shoot down at climbers or wait for them to get to the top. Real fortifications were a little better on that front, but it looks cool and so I roll on by. Especially now that I know "starting with a cav charge" is on the table D:)

I think it’s a genre thing. Most books I read at least have the female protagonist putting on lipstick and mascara if they’re going out. They don’t go through a whole routine, but since that’s up there with “nightly skin care regimen” and “dental hygiene” for things I don’t need to read about, I’m cool with it.

As a butch cis women I get misgendered all the time and I wish people wouldn't. I'm respectful to my trans friends so I wish I could tell them please show me the same respect.

Misgendering anyone, even in jest, is disrespectful.

Yeah the "no villain nonsense" sounds like a jokey way of saying 'booooo the villain's mean to my faves, this is a cute fic' rather than a criticism of people who include the villain & that type of conflict in their fic!

Imo it's better understood as something akin to trans headcanons than as misgendering

I'd actually like to see a Roger Rabbit type mix of live action and animation in a horror movie context if it was done right.

haha, women only wear matching panties in catalogs, not real life!

Helpless by Crosby Stills Nash and Young

As a mid-30s woman pursuing an ADHD diagnosis, I definitely get where you're coming from. I've been feeling like I'm in a similar boat, in that there has been a huge surge in people (especially women) pursuing ADHD diagnoses in the past several years, to the point that many people including doctors DO view it as "trendy" and just assume that I must've seen a bunch of tiktoks and "decided" I have ADHD.

I literally don't even have tiktok. I won't go into my reasons for suspecting I have ADHD, because tl;dr, but suffice to say, I have a bunch of them and they're pretty solid reasons.

For the record, it's not too late for you to get help and for things to get better. I mean, I get where you're coming from with this as well. I'm mid-30s, I have no career qualifications, no friends who live within visiting distance, and there's no way that having a kid is going to be a viable option for me within the next five years. And it's hard not to grieve the fact that in all likelihood, I wouldn't be in this position if I'd been getting the mental health support I needed all these years.

But that doesn't mean things can't get better in real, substantial ways. I'll probably never have a dream life, but I do believe I can have a better one.

Part of being an adult with ADHD is that you figure out what you specifically need to do so that the things that need to get done get done.

I mean, sure, but this is not something I was remotely capable of before getting medicated. There was zero correlation between effort spent and results achieved. 95% of my effort was spent spinning my wheels and there was nothing I could do about that, it was just the reality of how my brain worked.

Once I got medicated, I started to understand what it actually meant to knuckle down and get things done. What's funny is, "knuckling down" became easier than just existing had been, pre-medication.

There's also a big difference between areas where a lack of executive function affects mostly oneself and areas where it affects others. Most of the "society should be more accommodating of neurodivergence" content I've seen online is focused on the former areas of executive disfunction, not the latter areas.

This! I just don't get toilet humor. I honestly wasn't a fan of Bridesmaids anyway, but man the food poisoning scene had me going, "Really? This movie? This is the movie everybody was obsessed with for like a year?" (Not trying to say everyone who loved it has bad taste; art is subjective, YMMV, etc.)

Yeah, $30 is pretty cheap. You can probably snag something at Victoria's Secret for around that price on sale, but that'd be significantly discounted from full price.

I'm willing to bet you could get something from Walmart for $30 or cheaper, but, I mean, it's Walmart.

If your band size is smaller than 32 or bigger than 38, or if your cup size is larger than DD, then you'll probably have to go with a more specialty brand, and those tend to be pricier. I'm in Canada, and here specialty bras tend to range from around $70 full price to maybe $140 full price (not counting luxury brands which are a whole thing of their own).

I haven't worn makeup for decades. Will wear it when men do so as a matter of course (likewise high heels) but honestly it just feels slimy to me.)

I did get my face painted as a lion a few years ago, but that's totally different, OK?

Co-signed!

I refused to watch "Shetland" for a couple of years because of the vomiting scene in the first ep. I missed out on a lot because once a friend persuaded me to try it again, I was hooked for the first five series. But that introduction to the show was a poor one.

I felt the exact same way! I didn’t like the rest of it at all, but that scene really highlighted why I would never like it. And it’s one of those things where it’s completely up to taste and nobody is wrong or right for how they feel about it. But I will still never understand the hype for that movie.

"And the kickass woman settled down with the man of her dreams and raised babies."

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[ SECRET POST #5835 ]

Vent

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Re: Last Song You Listened To.

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