[ SECRET POST #1811 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1811 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 08 pages, 191 secrets from Secret Submission Post #259.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Going anon, because lol personal issues or whatever.

Now a large part of this is cultural (guessing you're American?), but crying is just an incredibly emotionally intimate act. It's leaving absolutely everything entirely bare, and putting everyone around you in an incredibly awkward situation. How do you think your outburst is making them feel?

It's basically the height of selfishness. If you really need to do it, you do it alone.

[(Anonymous)]

. . . wow. Issues much?

Also, the OP wasn't talking about bursting into tears in public in real life, but about characters crying in what may be public or private situations. There's a big difference.

[(Anonymous)]

Crying all the time predisposes a number of certain assumptions.

Lets be honest, they're not all constantly crying in private, they're doing it in front of people.

Even setting that aside, yeah it's a sign of weakness, sorry. A grown adult shouldn't be bursting into tears over little things, they should be able to assert more personal control over themselves then that.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, because if somebody near you is so overwhelmed or upset or hurt or frustrated or scared that their body reacts with tears, then it's all about you and your discomfort, anon.

Oh, the irony of you throwing the word 'selfishness'.

[murderershair.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU.

[cleverthylacine]

Have you ever met anyone who gets so overwhelmed/upset/hurt/frustrated by their inability to stop other people from making their own decisions and live their own lives that their body reacts with tears all the freaking time?

Don't believe in the same religion? Tears.
Date people that aren't their preferred gender or race for you? Tears.

And so on.

Tears can be incredibly manipulative and some people know that and use it.

[runonmoonlight.livejournal.com]

This. Thank you.

[It's the idea that it's something everyone can control that is ridiculous (absolutely fucking ridiculous)]

[(Anonymous)]

lol wow you're fucked up

[(Anonymous)]

whoa what the fuck

[(Anonymous)]

How do you think your outburst is making them feel?

How do you think they are feeling? For Christ's sake, they're the ones being so emotionally wretched that they're breaking down crying, and the only thing you can think of doing — instead of trying to, oh, I dunno, comfort them? — is bemoan how awkward you are feeling?

And they're the selfish ones? seriously? are you for real?

If you really need to do it, you do it alone.

You say this like it's a choice. It's not. In most cases, it really, really isn't. When you're full-out crying in public, it's usually because however hard you try, you can't stop.

[(Anonymous)]

How do you think they are feeling? For Christ's sake, they're the ones being so emotionally wretched that they're breaking down crying, and the only thing you can think of doing — instead of trying to, oh, I dunno, comfort them? — is bemoan how awkward you are feeling?

So, the fact that plenty, hell most people I know manage to go without me ever seeing them crying in public means there lives are perfect, and never exposed to the same level of emotionally wretched experiences? That anyone who avoids breaking down is some sort of robotic husk, devoid of feelings?

Or perhaps, they just manage to have some emotional self control. A dying idea I know, but lets not pretend we're totally at the behest of some magical external force.

You say this like it's a choice. It's not. In most cases, it really, really isn't. When you're full-out crying in public, it's usually because however hard you try, you can't stop.

I don't think this is nearly as inherently true as you're pretending it is, and you're stripping away a great deal of autonomy and self control in doing so.

[amethyst-rei.livejournal.com]

...and putting everyone around you in an incredibly awkward situation.

THIS. Not to say that people can't cry whenever they want, but that some people get really freaked out by it. I for one do. And then I end up laughing my ass off 'cause that's how I express emotional discomfort, apparently (my distant grandma's funeral? i had to leave early'cause i was smiling/laughing so hard. even though i was sad. yeah. not funny).

I hate it when people cry, too. I don't think it's selfish or anything (that'd be immature), but I'd prefer it if people just... didn't. Unfortunately it's not really something one has complete control over, though.

[(Anonymous)]

http://wiki.evageeks.org/images/thumb/0/0d/OP_C016_rei.jpg/260px-OP_C016_rei.jpg

"Why are you crying? I'm sorry; I don't know what to do or feel at a time like this."

[tameable.livejournal.com]

God, I hate that this is a somewhat normal attitude : (

[(Anonymous)]

You know what, fuck you.

I don't know what happened to me - I think I can date it back to when I went through a time of depression. But since then, I feel like I cry at EVERYTHING. I cry at fucking random shit, and I TRY to fight it, and half the time I can't.
It's not like I'm sobbing, my eyes start tearing up, and I fucking can't control it, and you know what? I hate it. It's the most humiliating thing. And I hate that people think I'm being manipulative when I wish we could all just pretend it isn't happening.
I TRY to do it alone, what, you think I want to break down in front of people? But since RUNNING OFF CRYING makes you into even more of a fucking ~~drama queen~~ it's a lose/lose situation.
And like I said, stupid things trigger it. If I'm overtired (which, I'm a student. It tends to happen), I get weepy. IDK, maybe I still have some form of depression. Who knows.

Please, tell me your amazing secret to keep from crying in front of people. I'd LOVE to stop.

[visp.livejournal.com]

It is very cultural - some places think it's okay, or even a sign of sincerity to burst into tears, in some places it's like you just dropped your pants and took a dump on the table. I wouldn't say it's selfish, but I understand that it can make the people around you very uncomfortable.

[(Anonymous)]

Very good point.
Also it varies from person to person and how they've been brought up. I come from a very emotional family. My parents never hid their tears from me and I knew when they cried, shit was going down.

So whenever I see someone crying I feel like asking them what happened and offer help or comfort. It's just the way I as raised. I always treat crying seriously because of that and I don't feel stupid when people are doing it in front of me. I just feel very sad for them and want to make them feel better again.

Not by crawling up their ass, but by reasonably asking them about the how and why and trying to calm them down.

[(Anonymous)]

Your inability to feel sympathy for another human being and the fact that you focus solely on yourself in these situations disgusts me.

[leafing.livejournal.com]

What about happy crying

Sometimes I'll see like a bunch of ducks or a really pretty flower or a butterfly or something and it makes me so happy that the tears start running



I can't even deal with how cute ducks are god damn

Or is it only upset crying that's bothersome

[(Anonymous)]

Wha-what the hell is that picture? That one bird's head looks so freaking enormous at first I thought it was the head of another bird very clumsily photoshopped on. But looking at it now, it's probably a male bird trying to win the attention of the female and does so by...poofing out its head feathers by three times or something?

[fungenda.livejournal.com]

Beautiful. :’)

[psyco_chick32]

OMG THOSE DUCKS.
That is the brightest, happiest duck I have ever seen <3 <3

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know why everyone is jumping on you or acting like you must be psycho? Crying is intimate and makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable. How common is the phrase "I can't deal with other people's tears"? How is that any different? If all these people here have witnessed strangers crying and not felt weird, check them for robotic parts.

btw plus? If I was the cryer I would feel extra uncomfortable knowing the guy beside might be trying to figure out how to apporach me. May as well save everyone the trouble and do that in private

[relmneiko.livejournal.com]

Yeah I agree, anon. Crying is private and if you start crying you need to leave. Unless you have some serious emotional issues of the degree that require a therapist and meds, or somebody just died, you're an ADULT. Control yourself.

And before someone jumps on me, this isn't even a gender thing, men and women that do it are equally reprehensible. I will say that men tend to avoid crying like the plague because of social conditioning, and there are women who will use crying as a manipulation tool, while men don't really do that.

Also anon sounds like they come from a culture where emotional displays in general are not acceptable in public - all the comments seem to be ignoring that. I thought this comm was full of anime nerds, come on.

[nonoji.livejournal.com]

I have no idea why, but I have had several (three) experiences of people giving me their life stories and crying their hearts out on the first day I met them. Without alcohol. I don't know about selfish, but I agree it can be awkward, and kinda unprofessional in some circumstances. I don't think it would be fair to say everyone has the same amount of control with their emotions, but you've alreay got a whole heap of people telling you similar stuff so I'll end my comment here.