[ SECRET POST#1819 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1819 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 112 secrets from Secret Submission Post #260.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
New Year's Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

22. http://i.imgur.com/Uxs2J.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

Lol that House screenshot.

But yeah...I can definitely see where the appeal comes from. I like the idea of someone being dependent on you to the point where your existence is the most important thing in their life, or you merely being there for them is enough to make them happy. Only if it's a healthy relationship, of course. Which isn't always how it goes in fiction.

[lolofielding.livejournal.com]

Okay I know all of those pairings except for the top middle though it looks familiar...

[fenm.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure it's Charles and Erik from X-Men: First Class.

[meruberri.livejournal.com]

X-men First Class. Charles/Erik

[helenadax.livejournal.com]

I understand you, OP. I always love those relationships too ^^

[ariseishirou.livejournal.com]

The only danger is, I think, that if you succeed in finding them but still want a romantic relationship outside of that BFF one, you'll have to limit yourself to potential romantic partners who also have a BFF. Because otherwise what a lot of people expect out of a long term romantic partnership is to become best friends also, and if you already have one they'll be frustrated. It gets even more complicated if you're straight, and your BFF is of the opposite sex. Your romantic partner will wonder why you "can't just do ____ with them instead" and the truth, i.e. that it wouldn't be as fun with them, is a grand way to wind up dumped ;p

That said if you find someone else who already has a BFF they'll understand, and even be relieved.

[writerserenyty.livejournal.com]

Totally get what you're talking about. I've thought about this, actually, about how I don't think I'll ever have someone that close, and it made me kind of sad. *icon very much related*

[thecrazyalaskan.livejournal.com]

Wait, I'm going to expose my idioticity and ask: Codependency in Star Trek? Any chance someone could explain please? (Or take a stab at it, since y'all aren't the OP?)

[(Anonymous)]

Honestly, I thnk Xena and Gabrielle are the only real example of co-dependency up there. Everyone else...(except Psych, because I;ve never seen it) either one or both have lives outside the relationship or one seems more invested in the relationship than the other.

In canon, anyway. Sam and Dean Winchester from the ealry seasons of Supernatural would have been a better example.

[(Anonymous)]

Not the OP and I don't see codependency in TOS, but Kirk and Spock are very codependent in the TOS based movies. Kirk pretty much sacrifices his son, the Enterprise and the lives of several other people for Spock. They even created a special vulcan word for their extreme codependency - t'hy'la.

[sensualcoco.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I mean they're obviously close, like brothers, but I didn't see any of them as codependent.

[(Anonymous)]

They're good while they last, but you lose some of your identity (especially if other people percieve you as being the "submissive" one), actions of one of you are often attributed to both of you and there's not a lot of room for personal growth or change unless they're growing and changing too.

And when they end, boy do they end badly.

[(Anonymous)]

...is it weird that I ship pretty much all of those pairings, minus the co-dependence part? Seriously, co-dependency turns me off so much, and I end up writing them as "really, really good friends who can live without each other if they have to, but they don't want to. Plus sex." I guess I'm doing it wrong. :/

[velvet-mace.livejournal.com]

Outside of fanon where Sherlock and John have quite a fucked up codependency going, their relationship is actually quite healthy for both of them. Xena and Gabrielle have a great partnership that again makes them both stronger (for the most sake -- I mean, they do have their moments, especially when it comes to their kids).

Admittedly you wouldn't want to be best friends with House. In fact, you probably wouldn't want to work in the same hospital as him, but you really can't paint all these relationships with the same brush. Close partners =/= codependent.

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

I can really relate to this.

I know I would be Gus and not Shawn and Wilson rather than House (not that I'd compare those two relationships too much) but I don't care, sometimes I want it anyway.

[ladraove.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh, I know. I long for that, too.

[x0whitelily0x.livejournal.com]

I know that feel, OP. Whether it's platonic or romantic, I really don't care. I just wish I could find someone who I cared about enough to devote myself like that to. :/ Getting dragged into crazy hijinks would just be a bonus.

[la-petite-singe.livejournal.com]

...Oh look, all my fave ships. LA LA LA, THAT IS TOTES NORMAL

[mutantjules.livejournal.com]

not all of those are what I'd consider to be codependent

but whatever. I hear you.

[dark-kaomi.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, OP, you aren't alone.

[ginpenguin.livejournal.com]

As someone who ended up going to therapy in order to work through and eventually get over codependency. The breakup that was the reason for starting therapy was also the cause of some of the worst depression in my entire life. This confession makes me said and a little bit irked (at the glorification of codependency in the media. I'm more scared for O.P )

Codependency is bad. And very generally, the feelings of 'I will love you forever and do ANYTHING FOR YOU MY SOUL MATE" are one sided. And damaging. As in a fair amount of codependent relationships probably contain some sort of abuse. It's not glamorous anon, don't wish this on yourself or anyone else. It's also hard to shake, even after people who survive it/get over it realize they don't NEED someone else to be happy, full, complete human beings.

And I'm not the least bit surprised that it's something that's potentially glorified in media by some of these couples you used as examples, but it doesn't make it any less sad or scary. I know this is just a fantasy for you Anon, but please be aware of the kind of thing your wanting. It has a pretty high price that can't ever really be paid :/

[pendingprogress.livejournal.com]

You don't need to be codependent to be this close to someone. My best friend and I, back in the day, were the archetypal 'old married couple'. We worked together, went home together, went out together, I used to keep his payslips, people would call me to get him and vice versa...we were very, very close (lots of things we never said to anyone else but each other) and I often felt like we were two halves of a whole, but truly we were two separate people who just complemented each other extremely well. We didn't need each other but we were better together, for sure. I still miss him a ton, have done since he moved and we hardly ever see each other and don't talk often enough (both crap at keeping in contact like that especially since once we start talking, we don't stop until one of us is ready to drop) but we were able to separate without it destroying us, which if we'd been codependent it probably would've done. In a heartbeat if someone offered me a viable way of living near him again I would do because I love him and who I am when I'm with him, but I don't NEED him.

Teal dear: awesome closeness =/= codependency.

Pic

[fuchsiascreams.livejournal.com]

I get you.

[(Anonymous)]

late but...

i know exactly what you mean and that's because i've always felt that way myself... before realizing that i was in one to begin with. it's 100% platonic, and fucked up beyond belief in so many inexplicable ways well they probably are explicable but that would take time that i'm far too lazy to spend writing but i have genuinely never met anyone i could be as open to except him. probably has to do with the fact that we're both irrevocably messed up people.

he also happens to be the biggest asshole ever and very quickly spiralling downwards (or some other dramatic metaphor) to an early grave. he appears to be a constantly party-going, stubborn and hilarious idiot who, while can be fun for a night or two, gets annoying as fuck after a while. people wonder why i've stuck 'round as long as i have given that i'm a generally misanthropic moron-hating introvert that's very selectively social.

this person has done so much stupid irksome shit to me (we got in a fight; he stole my ipods, i grabbed his comic books as collateral) but when things have truly gone downhill, he's stuck by my side.

i think it's because he isn't boring. some days i get tired of myself and this fucker never fails to surprise me in some way or another. could be worse, spontaneity isn't nearly as bad as lying in bed and mentally drilling myself into a black hole of depression.

uh, so, tl;dr - he's like a fucked up watson and i'm an (outwardly) relatively well adjusted holmes. codependency is as life-sucking and soul-draining as you can imagine, unhealthy as all shit, filled with all sorts of dumb assery from both parties but during the good moments? as amazing as you can fucking imagine.