[ SECRET POST #1834 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1834 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 89 secrets from Secret Submission Post #262.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 4 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

22. http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/4112/roomo.png

[dethtoll.livejournal.com]

just send her a message anyway asking what's up

if she doesn't respond, then you'll know more concretely

[dethtoll.livejournal.com]

i mean she probably left for personal reasons, i know a few people who've purged much of their online presence, either 'cuz of stalkers or shitty home life or whatever

if you send her a message you're at least letting her know you give a damn

[dorknessrising.livejournal.com]

Seconding this. Depending on the circumstances, I would even throw in an "are you ok?" If the person's in a bad spot, sometimes just knowing somebody out there cares about them as a person and not just a "fandom friend" is enough to make their day a little better.

[violence4.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this. There are all sorts of things that could have happened to make her vanish like that. She might really appreciate your concern. You don't have anything to lose, but you might gain your friend back.

[insanenoodlyguy.livejournal.com]

Indeed. Sometimes people abort fandoms and don't consider all the collateral, but even if they don't want to deal with x fandom it doesn't mean they don't want to deal with you. Hopefully that's the case, and you folks find that even without the fandom you still have stuff to talk about. :)

[ariseishirou.livejournal.com]

This. Or ask a mutual friend. A fandom acquaintance of mine just vanished from the internets a few years back in the middle of a collaboration, and a waited patiently for a while, then started fuming. Finally tracked her down to find that her husband had tried to kill her and she'd been in the hospital for a few weeks, then had to change cities because his family was harrassing her for making "false accusations" that put their baby boy in jail.

...And I felt like a selfish ass for being worried about a fanfic collaboration.

[flipthefrog.livejournal.com]

I think it would be appropriate for you to send her a message asking what happened, especially if you had previously talked with her. It sounds like you were reasonably well acquainted by internet standards, and it's not like she's under any obligation to answer if she's really cut all ties and bailed. At least you might get an answer as to why she left, even if the friendship itself is gone.

[(Anonymous)]

Awww. D: Poor nonnie, that's really sad. Sorry to hear that. I hope you find another friend like that, if she never comes back.

[lady-wormtongue.livejournal.com]

Definitely reach out, you never know what might have happened in her life, either RL or online, to make her do that. Chances are it had nothing to do with you. Good luck!

[countess-k.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're be considered that kind of fan if you message her and ask what's going on and if everything is alright. You don't have to tell her that you feel sad or lonely or talk about how much she meant to you.

[megalomaniageek.livejournal.com]

If she's on fanficrants, after today you can probably get a pretty good look at whether she'd appreciate your unsolicited contact or not.

[(Anonymous)]

No kidding. :|

[(Anonymous)]

Details please? O_o

[(Anonymous)]

I can't find the one you're talking about...is it under a locked post?

[dorknessrising.livejournal.com]

Huh?

[the-glow-worm.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, I just went and looked at it. o.O What on earth...

[ms-cucumber.livejournal.com]

That sort of happened to me once except that she vanished completely and I didn't know anybody who knew her IRL. Frankly, I worried that she might have died. So I messaged her. She didn't message back. She briefly came back to the fandom about six months later but she never renewed our friendship. It hurt, but I've come to see that I'm better off without a person who could disregard a friendship that easily.

[luxken27]

Aww, anon ~ its so hard being a fandom of one sometimes :-/ I'm so sorry this person disappeared on you. I don't think you'd be remiss to contact her and find out what's up, or why she left the fandom so suddenly. My smallest fandom has attracted the nutbar to end all nutbars, and all it takes is one asshole harrassing you to make you feel like it's not worth it and bail.

Good luck!

[skinst-bomb.livejournal.com]

You'll never know if you don't ask.

[09019.livejournal.com]

If this person is giving you that much concern, just send them a message and ask what happened. Let them know they're missed, etc. If you really want to be friends, there's no point in playing internet tough guy, just be honest. There's a lot of reasons people disappear from the internet, least of which is plain distraction or lack of commitment.

Any way best of luck.

[nocathon.livejournal.com]

Honestly OP? I don't see why you shouldn't, unless there's a reason, beyond her just going 'poof!' to believe she doesn't want to speak to you specifically. But if she was just cutting off contact with the fandom, then she may not have realized that you would still want to talk to her.

That said, if you do message her and she doesn't respond? Let that sleeping dog lie.

[(Anonymous)]

I miss her too, OP.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel with you anon, really.
Six years ago I, too, met someone through fandom and we've been in contact ever since. There were times when she didn't respond for months! I was always sick with worry (worry that something has happened, worry that I somehow insulted her) because she has become as important to me as my closest childhood friend.

I agree with the other commenters. Just ask her whether she's okay.

[(Anonymous)]

I did what your friend did in a previous fandom. Plenty of people emailed me asking where I had disappeared to. You can pretty safely send her an email letting her know you miss talking to her without seeming like any particular kind of person.